When 5 or 6 yr old asks...Mommy, What is Sex??

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Permalink Reply by Duong on November 3, 2008 at 7:05am

I think that they only need to know little bit at a time per age level. One the replies, offered some great book tips, you can prob get at the Library. My husband talked to our boys and at each age level, we share a little more. At 6 & 7 they don't need to know all the details!

Carolyn said:

WOW..I haven't gotten there yet, with my lil guy who is also 6.
How did you handle it?
I have been discussing sopme things with my girls, since the age of 7.
But the hard stuff is yet to come:(

Permalink Reply by Duong on November 3, 2008 at 7:06am

ok, that was great....lol. I like the legos analogy!

Mama Grimtribe said:

Our youngest son was bathing with his little sister and he asked why she doesn't have a weenie. He was 5 at the time. I calmly explained that boys have "outie" weenies and girls have "innie" weenies. The same way you have an innie or an outie bellybutton.
The following year, while in the play center at school, another boy started talking trash. He was baiting my son with "I bet you have a small dick" and such. Steele, in his desire to prove he did not, whipped out his junk in the middle of class. Yeah, kids. This other child had some kind of serious issues as he tried to convince the Principal of the school that Steele was also humping a girl in class. Not true, but certainly indicative of some sort of issue in this kid's household. We took the incident for what it was: an error in judgement. We asked if he knew he messed up, he agreed. We explained that there are some body parts that it's not the best idea to yank out in the middle of class. If the other child had asked about a mole on his back, a particularly large scab or being double jointed, it would have been closer to the realm of ok to show it off. Weenies, not so much.

If he were to ask about sex, I'd probably tell him that it's when you put and innie weenie and an outie weenie together. Kinda like legos fit. And instead of making a tower, -like with your legos - it makes a baby. If you hear anything strange about it at school or something you really don't understand, come home and ask. We'll set you straight. It's only for grownups, though. Like driving a car. And if anybody wants to do it with you - until you are a grownup - it's really really not ok and I need to know immediately. We'll talk again when you start getting hair down there.

Permalink Reply by priiacosmetics on November 3, 2008 at 11:06am

Well, so far my 7YO daughter hasn't asked that yet but she has asked about boys body parts vs girls. I've always been open and honest with her and talk in a very non-chalant (sp?) manner with her so that she doesn't think it's something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by, etc.

I have a book called 'WHERE DID I COME FROM?' that my mom used with me and that I will use with my daughter. I do let her know though that when we talk, it's something we talk about with 'our' family. I explain to her that maybe some of her friends do not know this information and that's it's up to their parents to teach them- not her.

She did ask me the other day, "Mommy, what does GAY mean?". Oh boy, that's an entirely new topic for discussion.

Permalink Reply by Mama Grimtribe on November 3, 2008 at 12:14pm

In our daughter's school "gay" means "stupid or foolish". Ya might want to ask in what context the word is used. (I'm not thrilled with that as a definition, but it saves the homo vs hetero talk if you're not ready yet)

*hug!*

<---Gay Mom... and yes, it can mean happy!


priiacosmetics said:

Well, so far my 7YO daughter hasn't asked that yet but she has asked about boys body parts vs girls. I've always been open and honest with her and talk in a very non-chalant (sp?) manner with her so that she doesn't think it's something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by, etc.

I have a book called 'WHERE DID I COME FROM?' that my mom used with me and that I will use with my daughter. I do let her know though that when we talk, it's something we talk about with 'our' family. I explain to her that maybe some of her friends do not know this information and that's it's up to their parents to teach them- not her.

She did ask me the other day, "Mommy, what does GAY mean?". Oh boy, that's an entirely new topic for discussion.

Permalink Reply by Neecie on November 3, 2008 at 4:09pm

Is it bad that my son thinks giving birth equals mommy throwing up the baby? I haven't had the heart to explain the real process yet being that he is only 6. I don't want to traumatize him just yet.

For me, it is hard to explain, because I have a live-in boyfriend, so I can't use the "sex is for married couples" line. We haven't gotten that far to actually speak about it, although my son was trying to figure out what s-e-x spelled, and I lied and said it was spelled socks!

I'm so bad!! When we come to an agreement as to how to address our kiddos, somebody please let me know!! Thanks!

Permalink Reply by Duong on November 6, 2008 at 5:36am

I like how some of the moms responded, did you check out their posts? Parents share at whatever age they feel appropriate, some get books that will help, some are just open and tell it like it is, and give a little bit at a time. I felt at 6 years old, a child's mind may not be ready to understand the whole "sex" process. When my kids were little and asked how babies come out of your tummy, I simply answered that when it was time, God supernaturally provided an opening for the baby to come out. (it's true---we do supernaturally open in away that is otherwise impossible!) Do we need to go thru the details, I felt it was a simple explanation for age 4-6, and each year we would share a little more. (I tell them also that it's a beautiful gift that God created and wants them to know about it at the right time). There is a time and a season for everything.

Neecie said:

Is it bad that my son thinks giving birth equals mommy throwing up the baby? I haven't had the heart to explain the real process yet being that he is only 6. I don't want to traumatize him just yet.

For me, it is hard to explain, because I have a live-in boyfriend, so I can't use the "sex is for married couples" line. We haven't gotten that far to actually speak about it, although my son was trying to figure out what s-e-x spelled, and I lied and said it was spelled socks!

I'm so bad!! When we come to an agreement as to how to address our kiddos, somebody please let me know!! Thanks!

Permalink Reply by Cate Bruce-Low on November 6, 2008 at 6:48am

no that i recommend always heading to a book for this sort of thing, but my friend, logan levkoff wrote a great book called THIRD BASE JUST AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE. she talks about sex ed at every age. it's eye-opening and very well written. check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=books&...

she also writes for the huffington post. if you google her, she'll come up with blog etc. she a mama of a 3 year old and is also pregnant with her second. good luck.

Permalink Reply by Mama Grimtribe on November 6, 2008 at 7:15am

That sounds pretty cool to have in the house. Thanks for posting it!

Cate Bruce-Low said:

no that i recommend always heading to a book for this sort of thing, but my friend, logan levkoff wrote a great book called THIRD BASE JUST AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE. she talks about sex ed at every age. it's eye-opening and very well written. check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=books&...

she also writes for the huffington post. if you google her, she'll come up with blog etc. she a mama of a 3 year old and is also pregnant with her second. good luck.

Permalink Reply by Erin on November 9, 2008 at 11:56am

My 14 yr old son still runs from the talk......yet, he now has facial hair. I nearly fell off my chair. One thing about us as Mom and Son is that we giggle a lot..........and everything turns into a smirk.

I would say explain at that age very simply that is when Mommy and Daddy love each other........LOL........then they will think that everyone they see on TV loves each other...........seriously, you can't win on that topic. I think the real details are for when they are older............... ;o)

Permalink Reply by Paisley on November 11, 2008 at 12:25am

I raised my mom's twin son/daughter from the time they were 3 days old to 15. When my baby sister asked me where babies come from, I asked her if she wanted the pretty answer (birds/bees, BS) or the scientific answer.
I was homeschooling her at the time & she asked for the scientific answer.
So I got out my old High School biology book& turned to the reproductive section. Walked her thru all the clinicals with commentary. When we were done she said the most beautiful thing:
"EWWW!!"
Yay.

Of course, she's 18 now with a daughter of her own. Her first *whew*.

Raven

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