A friend always compare our babies!

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How do I make her stop without offending her?

A friend always compared our babies when our eldest were infants. My kid was always ahead in terms of infant/toddler milestones and I thought she was just probably jealous plus the mommy-hood hormones acting up, that I just let it slide. And now with our current pregnancies she would initiate the topic and talk about hers and her kids, all the books she read, baby gears and gadgets we have, feeding, etc. Its really getting so annoying especially with the competitive attitude, or being overly motivated as some would call it. And now her husband has developed a keen interest with our chats. It just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

Tags: baby, moms, pregnancy

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Permalink Reply by Mindi on April 17, 2009 at 3:31am: Maybe you could simply say, "This isn't a contest." when she says those things. Be consistant and say that politely each time she mentions something that you feel is being combative. Try saying that and then steer the conversation in a different, more positive direction. By reacting the same way each time you might take all of the fun out of it for her..... and for her husband too. :~)
Congratulations on your pregnancy. Good luck, and keep us posted on how this goes for you.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cathy on April 21, 2009 at 9:31pm: I know I couldn't & wouldn't put up with that rubbish on an ongoing basis, I would politily just tell your friend how you feel & if she's any sort of friend at all then she'll understand, even if at first she's a little hurt or angry don't worry about it she may come to realise in time just exactly how she has been about things & how you have been made to feel.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Nadia Merhai on April 21, 2009 at 9:41pm: I think I'm with the other gals. Being a bit more direct with the intention of not hurting her feelings but letting her know yours would be the best route to go in my opinion. But you have to feel comfortable doing this. I would try explaining to her that I feel that all babies, no matter how old or which milestone they reach, are precious. Relay to her that things could go south very quickly and to just be happy that you both have a healthy child. I think that's really the most important thing. Right now I have a 3 YO who looks like she has developed asthma and I have a friend fighting a system hell bent on keeping her autistic child devoid of a proper education.
There are certainly more important things in life than the milestones of a healthy and active baby.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Colormepink on April 22, 2009 at 10:29am: I'd drop her like she was hot. lol Seriously, who has time for that? It's more than likely a feeling of insecurity on their part, but you're not their therapist or their mom. Good luck, whatever your decision.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Christy Eckert on April 22, 2009 at 11:33am: I dealt with something similar and still do now even though my son is 6! I would try politely saying something or maybe even just change your demeanor to show that your annoyed. If it keeps up it might be time to distance yourself!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Gracie Ramos on April 22, 2009 at 4:50pm: Nina,

I've had "friends" like this and it doesn't stop. It all stems from envy; no matter what you have or don't have she'll be sure to find the negative points. My advice is to remove yourself from the situtation little by little. Don't call her or look for if she comes to you be polite but distant if she starts with her usual behavior change the subject. Cut her off and change the subject, like " O, you know what I read in the paper today?". You can remain polite with this person but its better if you distance yourself. Real friends don't compare themselves to their friends.; ▶ Reply to This