ADHD Children = Meltdowns?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kara T. Tamanini on April 17, 2009 at 4:12pm

Kim,
That is absolutely normal for a child with ADHD. The anger is a result of poor impulse control. A behavior management plan is the best way to handle this type of situation. Do not try to reason with your son when he is in this frame of mind. Give him time to calm down, if you are trying to reason with him, it will fall on deaf ears because he will not hear you. When these types of behaviors occur, you should convey to him the repercussions of those types of behaviors ahead of time. Let me know if you need further clarification. Check out my website, KidsAwarenessSeries.com. I am a children's therapist and would be glad to help. Kara T.

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Permalink Reply by Nancy on April 18, 2009 at 5:59am

Hi,
My son has ADHD as well. He seems to be very happy go lucky but when he has a moment, he is out of control. My approach is to speak to him in a calm voice. If that is not working I will walk away for a while till he blows off his steam. Usually after five minutes of seeing I am not giving in to him then I can reason with him. We also bring him to a children's therapist where they do role playing to see if he can express himself through play therapy.
We chose not to put him on meds instead we are trying an all natural approach. My son has been on a nutritional supplement for 2 months however, I have been on it for 8 months and have had great results for my fibro. I will be having a call during the week with other ADHD mom's some who are using the product and some that are interested in a natural approach.
If you are interested in listening to live testimonies, please let me know and when we have the date, I will forwrad you the call in information.

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Permalink Reply by Kimberly Miller on April 18, 2009 at 6:50pm

Nancy I would LOVE to find out when you do the call! I have cut him off of all dyes and food additives as well. This was especially hard for him - he's a Kool-Aid junkie - but the change has been good for him. He's eating healthier, and I worry about his weight as well. He only weighs 65 pounds and he's 9 years old. Once he "blows off steam" he always comes back and apologizes to me for his behavior, which is great...now if I could just get that reasoning to work BEFORE the meltdown!

Nancy said:

Hi,
My son has ADHD as well. He seems to be very happy go lucky but when he has a moment, he is out of control. My approach is to speak to him in a calm voice. If that is not working I will walk away for a while till he blows off his steam. Usually after five minutes of seeing I am not giving in to him then I can reason with him. We also bring him to a children's therapist where they do role playing to see if he can express himself through play therapy.
We chose not to put him on meds instead we are trying an all natural approach. My son has been on a nutritional supplement for 2 months however, I have been on it for 8 months and have had great results for my fibro. I will be having a call during the week with other ADHD mom's some who are using the product and some that are interested in a natural approach.
If you are interested in listening to live testimonies, please let me know and when we have the date, I will forwrad you the call in information.

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Permalink Reply by Kimberly Miller on April 18, 2009 at 6:52pm

Thank you for the advice Kara. I am off to check out your site mometarily. He is a great kid, most days, and he even did so well in school this past 9 weeks that he made HONOR ROLL - a first in his short life - and he is so proud of himself (although around us he's "blowing it off" like it is nothing but I see him looking at his report card and doing the fist pump when he thinks nobody is looking LOL) so we are really playing this up to show him he is special and he can accomplish anything he puts his mind to.

Kara T. Tamanini said:

Kim,
That is absolutely normal for a child with ADHD. The anger is a result of poor impulse control. A behavior management plan is the best way to handle this type of situation. Do not try to reason with your son when he is in this frame of mind. Give him time to calm down, if you are trying to reason with him, it will fall on deaf ears because he will not hear you. When these types of behaviors occur, you should convey to him the repercussions of those types of behaviors ahead of time. Let me know if you need further clarification. Check out my website, KidsAwarenessSeries.com. I am a children's therapist and would be glad to help. Kara T.

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Permalink Reply by Dainya Chiulli on April 18, 2009 at 8:35pm

i have a son that from 1st grade till this year in 4th was a trror in school. hitting other kids, having to be held down by teachers and so much. he had therapy, medication you name it nothing worked. the meds made him like a zombie. i took him off. well, this year he acted out really badly, i was tired of being called out of work all the time. his last blow up in school caused me and my finace to strip everything out of his room. was somthing i saw on Dr. Phill. we took out everything and only left his bed and dressers. not even 1 book. he was punished and had to go to his room right after school, do homework, dinner shower and back to room until bed. I told him that every week he has had no trouble i would give him back somthing of MY CHOICE. well, it WORKED. week 1 was a book. week 2 was a stuffed animal, after awhile he got back the XBOX360 and the bdrums etc. he has NOT had any big issues since, he is now 9 and when i ask him why he stopped being bad he simply said, just tired of being in trouble. My daughter on the other hand is 15 and ADHD. She is a sweetheart but bad acidemics in school. the ADHD is HARD to deal with and can test your patiuence. They tried to label my son as ADHD and i know he was not. Today, most school try to say your child is ADHD just cause they bad or have behacior issues. I knew he was not becuase of my daughter. be careful how they try to tell you if he is or not ADHD.

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Permalink Reply by Kara T. Tamanini on April 19, 2009 at 5:30am

Kim,
I forgot to tell you something. I saw that Nancy replied as well to your discussion about supplements. Absolutely!! Brenda Nicholson on ADDStudent.com has a book on the Natural ADHD diet. Diet intake does make a difference, it does not cure anything but it will make a difference. Check her out as well. I am so glad he came back with a good report card. That is thrilling. Most of my patients that want a holistic approach, which I like as well use Omega 3 with fish oil. Your preference. Hope it helps. Also The Feingold system is awesome!! Kara T.

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Permalink Reply by Karen Griffith Gryga on April 21, 2009 at 8:09am

Nancy,

My son is being diagnosed for ADD/ADHD. We do not have a positive diagnosis yet but I think it probably will be from everything I have read. I would love to be on your call, if possible. My husband and I would love to try a natural route before meds. I will check out the ADDStudent.com website mentioned in the comments as well.

Thank you,
Karen

www.lipstickwisdom.com

Nancy said:

Hi,
My son has ADHD as well. He seems to be very happy go lucky but when he has a moment, he is out of control. My approach is to speak to him in a calm voice. If that is not working I will walk away for a while till he blows off his steam. Usually after five minutes of seeing I am not giving in to him then I can reason with him. We also bring him to a children's therapist where they do role playing to see if he can express himself through play therapy. We chose not to put him on meds instead we are trying an all natural approach. My son has been on a nutritional supplement for 2 months however, I have been on it for 8 months and have had great results for my fibro. I will be having a call during the week with other ADHD mom's some who are using the product and some that are interested in a natural approach. If you are interested in listening to live testimonies, please let me know and when we have the date, I will forwrad you the call in information.

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Permalink Reply by Kimberly Miller on April 22, 2009 at 7:17am

Hi Kim! Thanks for your input. It's so very helpful to understand that there are others out there who deal with the same issues on a daily basis and that we are NOT alone in this. Jonathan has horrible impulse management when his medication begins to wear off. I've been so very thankful for his pediatrician, Dr. Cullen, when it comes to his medication management. We expressed our concerns to her that we did NOT want him on anything that made him a zombie, but something that would be "just enough" to help him maintain and pay attention at school so he could get the education he deserves. He is such a bright child, that it broke our hearts (and still does) when he has one of those "bad" days and comes home in tears because he feels like all the teachers were just really hard on him. We have him on Adderall 45mg and he takes it once a day. It's time released, so we have to make sure he takes it as soon as he wakes up at 6:30 AM so by the time he gets on the bus at 7:30 AM its in his system and starting to work. He does fabulous in structured environments (now) but still has issues with unstructured periods such as recess and lunch.

Got sidetracked on my response, sorry! (I think I must have a bit of ADD myself LOL!!!!!)

I can't use any type of force with Jonathan or put him in any type of hold. His first day at kindergarten (prior to being on his meds) he had a major meltdown about an hour and a half into the day. Lets just say it wasn't a pretty sight. He assaulted the police officers, the teachers, the principal...tried to escape out of the window, bit a couple of people and obviously they didn't have the proper training or were not prepared for his reactions because the more they attempted to restrain him the harder he fought. When the officer came to the house to get me and take me to the school - when I walked into the room he launched himself at me and damn near knocked me off my feet. The poor child was so distraught he was shaking uncontrollably and couldn't speak. It took me almost an hour to get him calmed down again to where he stopped shaking and could tell me what happened. I laid into everyone in that room for treating him like a criminal and putting those plastic wrist restraints on him. It was a nightmare. Subsequently, now, whenever anyone tries to restrain him, he just freaks. Had a sub do that to him a few weeks ago and he hit her so hard she got a bruise on her shoulder from it because she was trying to restrain him. Needless to say, the administration is now on board and nobody is allowed to be around Jonathan that either (a) he does not know from daily interactions or (b) is not aware of his restraint issues. If he cannot be with one of his regular teachers, then he goes to the office to hang out with the counselor he knows really well and assist him or do homework till he can go back to his regular class and teacher.

kim litchford said:

I have been dealing with this type of behavior for over 15 years. I have 5 children and two of the boys have adhd/pdd. One is 17 and the other is 8. The 17 year old has been on meds very little, my other child has been on meds since he was 3. He also has been in the hospital two times for med management and behavior problems. He is currently taking meds and sees a therapist. He still has meltdowns. There is no cure. The meds do help with his hyperactivity and a little with impulse. I have learned that when he has a meltdown as you describe above I either ignore it and or try to get his attention on something else or I will just listen to him with my full attention and hug him if he will let me. If he is violent toward me I say I understand but you can't hurt mommy. I'm not going to let you hurt me. And I walk away. I have had problems with him running out of the house hiding from me. In the past I held him in a tight hold that the therapist taught me but have not had to do this for over a year. I find that talking to him ahead of time and play acting different situations with him that I know he struggles with and we go over behaviors of how to act in those situations. And I let him know when he is in a calm and pretty good mood the acceptable behaviors and not acceptable behaviors. I limit those to only a few. To many rules is to difficult to follow so I focus on the ones that I feel are the most important. I hoepe this helps. If you ever need to talk you can find me on twitter at www.twitter.com/kimlitchford or email me at kimlitchford@yahoo.com

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Permalink Reply by Kimberly Miller on April 22, 2009 at 7:23am

That's so true Dainya, some physicians/teachers/counselors are quick to label your child with ADD or ADHD and immediately want to pump them full of medications. We tried various other means with Jonathan before putting him on medication. I knew, since he was about 3, that he had ADHD. It took me another 3 years to convince his father that was "what was wrong with him" and even then - he didn't really believe me until the incident at kindergarten and then his pediatrician's assessment and recommendations.

I tell everyone who "thinks" that their child might have ADHD to READ UP ON THE SUBJECT. If you arm yourself with knowledge beforehand and apply that knowledge to your own child, you can figure out for yourself whether that is what the issue is or not. Some children just have poor impulse control and judgment, while others just have poor behavior skills and are not really ADHD. There are many factors to consider, and knowing what those are and talking with an expert are the only way to truly make an informed decision that is right for your child and you.

Dainya Chiulli said:

i have a son that from 1st grade till this year in 4th was a trror in school. hitting other kids, having to be held down by teachers and so much. he had therapy, medication you name it nothing worked. the meds made him like a zombie. i took him off. well, this year he acted out really badly, i was tired of being called out of work all the time. his last blow up in school caused me and my finace to strip everything out of his room. was somthing i saw on Dr. Phill. we took out everything and only left his bed and dressers. not even 1 book. he was punished and had to go to his room right after school, do homework, dinner shower and back to room until bed. I told him that every week he has had no trouble i would give him back somthing of MY CHOICE. well, it WORKED. week 1 was a book. week 2 was a stuffed animal, after awhile he got back the XBOX360 and the bdrums etc. he has NOT had any big issues since, he is now 9 and when i ask him why he stopped being bad he simply said, just tired of being in trouble. My daughter on the other hand is 15 and ADHD. She is a sweetheart but bad acidemics in school. the ADHD is HARD to deal with and can test your patiuence. They tried to label my son as ADHD and i know he was not. Today, most school try to say your child is ADHD just cause they bad or have behacior issues. I knew he was not becuase of my daughter. be careful how they try to tell you if he is or not ADHD.

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Permalink Reply by Kimberly Miller on April 22, 2009 at 7:25am

Thank you for sharing this wonderful information. As I'm sure the rest of you know as well, knowledge is the key to everything. The more you understand a situation - the causes, the symptoms, the various remedies (tried and true as well as experimental), the medications - the more capable you are to have an informed discussion with your physician about your child and do what is right for your child and your family. Definitely!

Kara T. Tamanini said:

Kim,
I forgot to tell you something. I saw that Nancy replied as well to your discussion about supplements. Absolutely!! Brenda Nicholson on ADDStudent.com has a book on the Natural ADHD diet. Diet intake does make a difference, it does not cure anything but it will make a difference. Check her out as well. I am so glad he came back with a good report card. That is thrilling. Most of my patients that want a holistic approach, which I like as well use Omega 3 with fish oil. Your preference. Hope it helps. Also The Feingold system is awesome!! Kara T.

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Permalink Reply by Kara T. Tamanini on April 22, 2009 at 2:18pm

Dena,
A number of things come to mind. First of all, is your son scared of storms and is he fixated on the weather. If he is on Focalin, there will be a change of behavior when he is not on the medicines. There can be a "coming down" period and if Focalin is not an XR or time release, it will not last through the day anyway. I don't have all of the history, however you are describing symptoms of anxiety and not ADHD. ADHD is my specialty and recently wrote a children's book on the subject. If you want to contact me directly at my e-mail, kaseries@yahoo.com or through my website, KidsAwarenessSeries. com to give me more info., I would be happy to help you. I am curious why he feels he needs to stay up to watch the weather, is it to allay fears?? Let me know. I would continue to give in at this point until you know what the crying is all about. Kara T. Tamanini

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Permalink Reply by rhonda on April 24, 2009 at 11:44am

Nancy said:

Hi,
My son has ADHD as well. He seems to be very happy go lucky but when he has a moment, he is out of control. My approach is to speak to him in a calm voice. If that is not working I will walk away for a while till he blows off his steam. Usually after five minutes of seeing I am not giving in to him then I can reason with him. We also bring him to a children's therapist where they do role playing to see if he can express himself through play therapy.
We chose not to put him on meds instead we are trying an all natural approach. My son has been on a nutritional supplement for 2 months however, I have been on it for 8 months and have had great results for my fibro. I will be having a call during the week with other ADHD mom's some who are using the product and some that are interested in a natural approach.
If you are interested in listening to live testimonies, please let me know and when we have the date, I will forwrad you the call in information.

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