Breastfeeding: i tried to do it and couldn't!

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by minnemom on April 2, 2009 at 4:33am

I don't know about the guilt part, but my sister had the same problem. She tried breastfeeding and her milk never came in. She pumped every two hours for three weeks with a hospital grade pump and had lactation consultants helping all the way. She finally had to switch to formula feeding.

I had a different experience. I didn't breastfeed my babies for long, but I exclusively pumped. So if I got the glares from people, it was ironic, because what was in the bottles was actually breast milk!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by sarah on April 2, 2009 at 5:26am

I had problems breastfeeding both of my girls. I tried with my first and the milk just never came out or she couldn't latch on correctly to get it out. I spoke to the lactation consultation at the hospital and they just kept telling me to be patience and keep trying but the poor baby wasn't getting enough and everyone was tried and cranky. I finally decided to just give her formula and felt really guilty for a long time but since she was much happier and I wasn't in so much pain, I finally got over it. This happen with both of my girl so it's normal and don't pay any attention to other people. My girls were both feed with formula and are as healthy as any other children who were breastfeed.

Hope this helps.

www.momselounge.com
"where moms meet"

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Denise on April 2, 2009 at 2:09pm

I still feel guilty every day and Emily's 3 months old! She was prem and had terrible jaundice (way too sleepy to suckle) and a tongue tie (physically couldn't suck hard enough to get much milk). The hospital staff were sometimes incredibly helpful and sometimes getting help was like getting blood from a stone. Anyway, my milk supply dried up, probably because I was frantic. I switched to formula so that we could get out of the hospital, but once her tongue tie was sorted out I should have started putting her back on the breast. I was so tired, and I didn't realise. Maybe she would have been able to breastfeed after all, but now it's too late. Anyway, she's OK on formula and I love that daddy can do some of the feeds! But she has reflux and I wonder whether she would have been better off with breastmilk - and this is before I start worrying about the studies that say breastfed children have higher IQs...!

Everyone always says 'Is she breastfeeding?', that's if they don't simply assume she is, and every time I feel a pang.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Andria Lake on April 2, 2009 at 8:56pm

I had the same problem, NO MILK till my son was 3 weeks old. We struggled the first few days, he lost weight and was soooo hungry, I was sad and wanted so bad for him to be "healthy and smart".... The doctor gave him a bottle at his 3 day check up and my son was so happy and full. I do not feel guilty, this is how God wanted it to be. My son has only had 1 ear infection, and a few colds so far....he is now 10 and top of his class!!! We did have some awesome bottles :)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Susan Pope on April 3, 2009 at 12:58am

Megan, I'm sorry to hear you had such a rough time. I had the same problem with my 3rd child, mostly because I was so busy with a toddler and a 5 year old that I just never seemed to have milk for my baby. I breast fed for 6 months and supplemented her along the way with formula when I just couldn't do it myself. I felt bad when I had to give her a bottle, especially if out in public and those leering eyes of the judgmental wouldn't leave me alone. I did try everything to increase the milk production including fenugreek, but it only worked for a short time and after that I couldn't stand the smell - every pore in my body smelled of stale maple syrup. I hope you have forgiven yourself - you should. You did the best things for your baby - you loved her, protected her and fed her. I'm sure she'll be forever grateful for all those things and she won't remember that you didn't breastfeed her either, unless you tell her. Good luck and be kind to yourself!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Tawny Bee on April 3, 2009 at 7:27pm

I also tried to breastfeed for the first week after my son was born. The lactation specialists came in, gave me the big thumbs up and left. After a few days my son was always crying and hungry. I had the home nurses come over and assess the situation. They told me that everything was fine, most women think that they aren't making enough milk, but only 3% of women can't breastfeed.

I kept telling them that I was in that 3% and they didn't seem to hear me (even though I have a pacemaker implanted in my chest!!) Finally, I trusted my own instinct and switched to formula with my husband's full support and our little boy was happy and full.

A month later I had an appointment with my cardiologist who asked if I was breastfeeding and I told him the story. He told me that he'd be surprised if I was still trying because obviously having scarring from heart surgery and pacemakers would make me produce less milk. Something he could have told me months before! Sheesh.

I still feel guilty over it though even if there was nothing I could do about it. But my little boy is happy and healthy and I have another baby on the way who will also be formula fed and turn out happy and healthy as well. :)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Shannon Dickson on April 5, 2009 at 5:11am

Katie wouldn't latch and she took to the formula so well - after so much effort I didn't want to BF and my hubby really more less kept at me until I did - I ended up only pumping (still am) and it is physically exhausting - never mind that you are also taking care of baby...but then you need to find time in the day to pump....now I've returned to work and it's harder to find the time to pump - my milk supply is really low and she will not take a formula bottle. I too get glares from other moms who think I bottle feed her - which is annoying because food is food - there's a reason companies make formula - breast feeding is not as easy as everyone makes it out to be - no one tells you that you may not be able to or that your baby won't latch or that as a woman you're not comfortable doing it and that's perfectly ok - many people don't and we have lots of healthy people in the world who never had an ounce of breastmilk. I can tell you my kid only had breastmilk and has had several colds (thanks to daycare) and she still gets upset tummy....my friend who couldn't BF her daughter hasn't been sick a day in her life...crawled at 5mths...and is now about to walk at 8mths....has 6 teeth....my kid has just mastered rolling and no teeth in sight...so who's to say my breastmilkfed baby is any better off??

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Nat Bourre on April 5, 2009 at 2:43pm

I had the same situation. I pumped for 7 months and fed by bottle, and funny enough, even that made me feel guilty. It took a couple of months for my milk to come out in sufficient quantity (and I needed medication to help me get to that point), so at first I was giving half breastmilk and half formula. As mothers we put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves. Baby is happy and healthy, and we are doing the best we can with what we have - we should be satisfied !!

minnemom said:

I don't know about the guilt part, but my sister had the same problem. She tried breastfeeding and her milk never came in. She pumped every two hours for three weeks with a hospital grade pump and had lactation consultants helping all the way. She finally had to switch to formula feeding.

I had a different experience. I didn't breastfeed my babies for long, but I exclusively pumped. So if I got the glares from people, it was ironic, because what was in the bottles was actually breast milk!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Starla on April 6, 2009 at 6:15am

This is just so interesting to read. As a mom who breastfed three daughters.....the first one which was a VERY rough time, and we struggled for MONTHS, I was always criticized for breastfeeding.

I wasn't a very good pumper (even with the third.....I could never get hardly any milk when I pumped), so had to actually nurse. I always had to sneak around and breastfeed.....I don't know how many nasty stares I got when I was breastfeeding in a public restroom, or even breastfeeding on a bench somewhere. I always kept my daughters covered with a blanket and nothing was visible, but I would STILL get comments about nursing.

So, it's funny.....I got exactly the opposite criticism for breastfeeding.

Don't feel guilty if you can't breastfeed. If you can't, you can't. You just need to do whatever you need to do to keep your baby happy and healthy.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Mia Redrick on April 8, 2009 at 7:22am

Megan this is so tough emotionally on mom. I am the mother of three and I nursed all three but my had loads of difficulties with my third. He did not latch on until month 3. Yes, I said month 3. I remember thinking loads of times during our nursing struggles that if he were my first I would have seen this experience completely differently.

There are so many other ways to bond and nurture your child. Give yourself permission to release the guilt and squeeze that baby and create other tender nurturing experiences(as I am sure you have done).
Thanks for this thoughtful post.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Hernandez on April 8, 2009 at 9:32am

I have 2 girls, a 1yr old and a 2 yr old and am now pregnant with my 3rd (which is also a girl). I had no problems breastfeeding mine, other than the agonizing pain in the beginning. I actually haven't stopped lactating in almost 3 years and have thought about donating it to mothers that have a hard time producing milk. It's not your fault so don't beat yourself up. I have a lot of friends that didn't even try and that's more upsetting than anything. Also, sometimes when a mother is stressing too much over the situation it effects the production. If you do enough research you may be able to find a nearby place that provides breastmilk if you're determined to go that route :-)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Megan Jenkins on April 8, 2009 at 5:08pm

You know it wouldn't be so hard if the magazines and media didn't put soooo much of a positive influence on breastfeeding and such a negative influence on the bottle. All women understand that breast is best. But some just can't do it. Does it mean your baby is any less? I tried to breastfeed Bethany and it didn't work. She was a formula baby. She had one ear infection her first year. Her IQ was tested out on a first graders level. She has had MAYBE 4 colds in almost 3 years. I don't see how breastfeeding could have done any better. I would like to see this world put a more positive outlook on bottles too. I have a 3 year old, a 9 month old and just found out I'm 3 months pregnant!!!! Trust me I won't waste those early precious moments agonizing over something I know just doesn't work. Keep your head up ladies!!!

▶ Reply to This

▶ Reply to This

• First
• Previous
• Next
• Last