Daughter in Midst of Terrible Two's
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I have a daughter who is in the midst of the terrible two's. My son is twelve and was not at all difficult at this stage. I don't know what to do with her. She is easily frustrated, very strong willed, terrible in restaurants, and doesn't ever want to get diaper changed. She's a moody little tyrant. Any suggestions on handling her?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Naomi "Digitalfangirl" on -
#1 rule - don't let her handle you. Remain in control and don'tbe afraid to show her you have the upperhand.
#2 - do not bargain with her. This is one of the biggest parenting mistakes. She has to understand you set the rules and she has to follow them and yes, she can grasp this concept even at the age of 2.
#3 - this was quite effective when my now 15 year old tried to act like she wanted to be a terrible 2. Smack the inside of her hand and put her in the corner in her room and LEAVE HER ROOM. Tell her she can come out of corner when she decides to act right.I did this the very first time she tried to act like a fool and it was the last time she ever pulled that on me. My youngest daughter never went there; she's my laid back kid-just observes rather than make a fuss. It is crucial you don't waiver because that will set the stage for her to continue this behavior, but in a more grandiose way as she gets older. So, be strong, do not compromise with her and stand your ground as the PARENT. Guilty feelings will serve you no purpose in this situation.
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Permalink Reply by Colleen Woodcock on -
I have a solution to the diaper changes, Just give her a light slap on the thigh and she will stop it from now on that's what worked for my little one. I found that for restaurants if she misbehaves I take her in the bathroom and tell her that if she behaves herself and is good without whining then when she is finished her meal she can have a treat but if she misbehaves then she needs to go back to the car and back to her car seat. This usually works. When they are strong willed like my daughter you really need to be strict and to the point with consequences that make her think the next time she misbehaves.
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Permalink Reply by The Triumphant Child on -
Hi Melissa,
This can be a very challenging age. You want your child to have a good self-esteem, but to also work towards learning acceptable behaviors. Here are some tips about discipline and behavioral challenges that might help.
Good luck
would love to hear an update on how it is going.
TTC
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Permalink Reply by Debra Ondrusek on -
Melissa, There are a tons of books and websites out there that will give loads of advice. Make sure that what you read feels right to you. Having a child development background but raised in a disciplinary house, sometimes my method was a mixture of the two. The child dev. part of me will want you to look at the what, when and why part of the easily frustrated situation. Step back or try to remember later, what is going on around your child when she starts becoming frustrated - too much noise? working with toys, etc?, when is it happening, before lunch, before nap, certain parts of day? and the why - what is causing her at the moment to be frustrated? This will help you help her to learn to cope thru the situation.
As for the diaper change - at two, she might be wanting the potty training and not want the diapers, is this in process? she might want the control of going to the potty herself?
As for the restraurant, I took my son on little outings, prior to the big restraurant ones, and when he missed behaved, I told him the behaved that was required, bottom in chair,inside voice and if he misbehaved, we would leave. The moment he misbehaved, I picked him up, and walked out of the place. I did this with department and groceries stores also. I would not take him the next time I went so we understood that bad behavior was not tolerated in those settings. A few times leaving his meal at the restraurant and his behavior improved. He still have some problems, but was much better at staying in his seat and not causing trouble.
Hope this helps.
Debra
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Permalink Reply by Trish Smith on
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Permalink Reply by Trish Smith on
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Permalink Reply by sarah on -
My 2.5 yr old daughter is also going through the same thing, with exception of the diaper change as she is trained. She will simply throw a major fit if she does not get her way, anywhere (grocery store, restaurants, mall, school, etc.) I have found that the best thing for me to do is to ignore her until she calms down then I talk to her and tell her that her action is unacceptable. She normally stops within 10 mins. Although it doesn't seem like the conversations we are having is helping but I also know that this is simply a phase that they all go through. I just keep telling myself - this too shall pass!
I agreed with Naomi's first advice, make sure you stay in control and make sure they know that you are the parent (I tell my kids that I am the boss).
Best of luck!
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