Drinking infront of your kids
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Do you drink in front of your kids ? A close friend always does it and feels that she is doing nothing wrong. I told her that this kind of behavior will have a negative affect on her kids but she disagrees. I fear that she is to dependent on the bottle and sees the trait of alcoholism. I confronted her on the issue but she always is in denial. How can i help her? Also please voice your opinion on Mommies Playtime http://mommiesplaytime.com
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Renegade Mom on -
You can't help her. It's not your problem. I don't usually drink in front of my kids, but I'm not opposed to it. I think being an example of a responsible drinker is good, but if you're going to get totally smashed and stupid, it's obviously a bad idea. If your friend is truly an alcoholic and you really care, go to an Al-anon meeting and learn how to best deal with it.
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Permalink Reply by Audrey's Country Crafts on -
Well, my husband drinks about 2 cases of beer a year. When we go out to eat he will quite often have a beer with supper (but then I always drive home). The boys have been exposed to friends of ours that drink quite a bit, so they know the effects of alcohol when someone has had too much to drink. The boys are now 17 & 19. The oldest will have to occasional drink (legal age here is 18). The youngest has friends that drink a lot, and has no interest in being like those friends. So I think it all depends on how you approach social drinking, how you explain to your children the effects of drinking to much, and what they see the parents doing.
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Permalink Reply by Amelia Dellos on
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Permalink Reply by Christie Adams on -
I think your bigger concern is that your friend is an alcoholic. I agree with Renegade Mom-find an Al-Anon meeting near you to learn more about how to handle the situation.
As for the greater question-I think responsible drinking is fine in front of children. I remember being about 5 and at a family function, and asking my my mom for a sip of her rum and coke. She told me that it had alcohol in it and that was just for adults to drink. That was the end of the story for me-I knew I would have to wait until I was a grownup to try it and never asked again.
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Permalink Reply by Kristi Maloney on -
I have a glass of red wine on the weekend. Growing up, my parents would also occasionally have a glass of wine or a beer, but that was it, one drink and no more. My son knows that wine is an adult drink also. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a drink and drinking responsibly in front of your kids. Its an example that they will remember, just like I did.
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Permalink Reply by emely chariza mejia on -
well when she goes to your house don't ever have any alcohol available>> there isn't much you can do..you already told her.. when people dont want to helped .. you just cant help them>> as a mother she should have stop n think to herself damn can what my friend said to me be true?? she has to think about her kids... n if she cant think of herself she cant think about others
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Permalink Reply by emely chariza mejia on
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but having a drink here n there is not bad .. but she has a problem with drinking n then thats not good..
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Permalink Reply by Kelly Luzod-Jones on -
Having the occasional drink in the presence of your children is one thing, but if you're friend is bordering alcoholism...it's irresponsible not to mention dangerous; and that doesn't even include the negative psychological effects it could have on these kids. As a parent you're a role model, it's your job to mold your children to the best of your ability...doing so have corked is far from your personal best.
As parents we're not perfect, but it's not an excuse to endanger our children for our own personal high...there's a time and place and as adults we "do" know better.
Anyway, you can help your friend by possibly speaking to her family if you know them well enough. If an intervention is needed it should come from her family. In the meantime, as her friend continue to offer support and encourage her to exercise better judgement...that's about all you can do...good luck. I hope she realizes how lucky she is to have you as a friend!
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Permalink Reply by Lorraine Perone on
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Drinking in front of your kids is a bad idea and gets worse as the child grows. We know children learn what they live and emulate their parents. parents set the example, from having manners to cursing. However, if we explain (age appropriate) and discuss that drinking alcohol is something that adults do and children cannot, then we are protecting them and are being parental. we need to start teaching our children early, that drinking is bad for them...let's not forget alcohol is poison. Whether you have alcoholism in your family or not, research is now showing that alcohol/drug use, during adolescence, changes the brain for good. We do everything we can for our babies to protect them....what is the age we stop protecting them?? we must be smart...ask yourselves this same question and exchange "drinking" for "smoking" and see what your opinions are. the other replies are right, you cannot stop another person from drinking but you can be there for them and their children if/when it gets out of control or they ask for help. nobody wants to grow up to be addicted to drugs or alcohol....certainly as parents it is our job to do whatever we can to prevent our children from risky behavior. Children don't know what "responsible drinking" is. your friend & her kids, are lucky to have you!
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Permalink Reply by Jhanna Dawson on -
Well, what your asking is kind of a skirted question. Do I drink in front of my kids? Sure. Do I get schnockered in front of them, pee on myself, and black out? No. See the difference?
I don't think having a few cocktails in front of my wee ones is a big deal. It's life. They are going to see people drink, smoke, and whatever else.
However, if you believe that this woman is getting drunk and not taking care of her children, then you are talking about something completely different.
If you REALLY believe she might have a drinking problem, then you should go to al-anon. There, you will learn that you can't 'do' anything for the alcoholic. It's their choice. It's a disease of the mind and body, and no amount of badgering or 'helping' them will do anything but make you focus more on it.
Get thee to al-anon meetings, my friend
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Permalink Reply by Rugbymom on -
Good topic, but really too gray. In order to make a judgement call on this one, a lot more information would need to be considered. I do not think it is wrong to have a drink in front of your kids. I do think it is wrong to get hammered and especially drive anywhere with your kids. Is she getting wasted? I don't think anyone can give judgement here, it is too subjective and depends on the severity of the problem if there is a problem here at all.
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Permalink Reply by Cyndi Lopez on -
There is nothing wrong with drinking in front of your kids, per se. Hubby and I have a few beers at family parties, barbecues and when we go out to dinner. We also drink at home from time to time.
Having said that, the real issue in your friend's situation is that you perceive her to be an alcoholic or at least think she may be one. I don't know if you think that simply because she drinks in front of her kids and you would never do that or if you have reason to believe that she truly has a drinking problem. If she does have a drinking problem, that is the issue, not the fact that she drinks in front of her kids. Addicts will do anything in front of anyone at anytime to get their fix. All you can do is be a good friend but the problem, if there is one, is hers.
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