Guilt after an accident

Has anyone out there struggled with guilt after having an accident? I had an accident this evening that was my fault, the damage was minimal, but more importantly everyone is okay. The worst part is that my 5 year old was in the car with me, and I'm feeling awfully guilty about the accident because he could have been hurt. I can't get my mind to settle down, can't sleep, etc...just looking for someone who might understand.

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Permalink Reply by Chrissy Jensen on March 20, 2009 at 12:17pm: Human nature to feel guilt on an issue like that. I was in one (not my fault) but I still felt guilt like if I hadn't of went this way and also thought if I would have stopped here like I wanted first this wouldn't have happened.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Marlene M. Linke on March 20, 2009 at 2:39pm: Almost sounds like you're having a little post traumatic stress. You're such a good mom to have such a loving heart. Your guilt seems to be a reflection of the genuine concern and love you have for your child. You're also very, very blessed. All things considered, it could have been much worse. Sometimes even minor accidents can have grave consequences. But, breathe in the thought that God was watching over you and your child and feel solace that you are a loving caring parent. Many blessings!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lea A. L. Gust on March 22, 2009 at 6:35pm: As mothers, we are prone to having guilt for any little thing. An accident is a "big thing", so I think the guilt you feel is somewhat normal for a mom. But the racing mind, lack of sleep, those do sound like symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Please talk to your doctor as soon as possible. Don't wait until the anxiety gets beyond your control. I'm glad you and your child are okay. Good luck.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kellie on March 23, 2009 at 5:55am: I've been through the exact same thing- the wreck was my fault & my 9 year-old SCREAMED at me afterward because she was so scared. Even though no one was hurt I couldn't stop thinking about what *could* have happened and felt horrible for ruining the other driver's day and terrifying my kids.

Get some sleep! Take a benadryl, melatonin, whatever; I promise you'll feel calmer in the morning. Do something the next day to distract yourself (or something nice for YOU). This is a very frightening event so it's normal for your brain to take a couple days to process it. If you don't feel better in a couple days you should probably talk to your doctor; but give yourself a little time to adjust and don't pressure yourself.

Good luck!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Party Sprite on March 23, 2009 at 7:15am: I had an accident quite a few years ago now, where a drunk stepped out into the road and he went under my car as I couldn't stop in time. I thought I was over it (was well before hubby and kids came along) but on Boxing Day we were on our way to mums and the same thing almost happened again. I was shaking all the way and a mess for a while afterwards.

I would say it is a normal reaction to a close shave.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Andi Fasimpaur on March 23, 2009 at 8:12am: I was in a minor fender-bender in December with my 4 year old in the car. One of the problems is that Sprout is an animist. I'm not sure how it happened but my daughter sincerely believes that everything has a spirit and a life of some form. Our accident happened quickly, we hit ice on an unsalted overpass, but the minor damage to the car is a disfiguring injury that she still worries over. It's a bit overwhelming, really. Moms are resilient and resourceful. We'll deal with the feelings about these things as they come up. What other choice do we have?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Eren on March 23, 2009 at 10:40am: Looks like you've gotten some very good advice already.

Just wanted to send a not of understanding friend.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by suzy deyoung on March 25, 2009 at 3:59pm: Try to look at it from a different perspective. Focusing on "what could have happened" will make you more stressed which in turn will make your son more stressed as our kids can pick up on what we're feeling whether we verbalize it or not.
You don't want him to be fearful. Focus on gratitude that it was minimal and move on. By re-living the event and obsessing over what might have happened you are taking what was actually a happy ending and turning it into an unhappy one - exactly what you don't want to do for you and for your son. When you find your mind running loose again quickly switch to a thought that makes you feel good.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by sarah on March 25, 2009 at 7:28pm: Completely understand. I was in an accident about 5 years ago and although it wasn't my fault, I hit a car where the driver was an 8 months pregnant lady. I was so freaked out and couldn't sleep for days either. I stayed at the scene until the ambulance came and made sure that she and the baby was ok....it was tough. Hope you are better now.

Sarah
www.momselounge.com; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Christy on March 26, 2009 at 4:42pm: I feel you on this....I had an accident when I was six months pregnant and had my two kids in the car with me....a guy lost control of his brakes on a hillside and plowed into us. It was not my fault, but I didn't tell anyone this....I was looking at my cell phone trying to dial when it happened. I felt tremendous guilt over this, even though legally speaking and according to all witnesses, this was an unavoidable accident. Every time your child "nearly" gets hurt, it shakes you up. But, they are called "accidents" for a reason, and just be thankful that you have a guardian angel watching over you because you were spared, and so was your little one. I find in these situations just being thankful, and grateful is a great way to overcome guilt, because no one is perfect. Give yourself a break and a pat on the back for being a good mommy...if you weren't, you wouldn't be beating yourself up over this. Your child is lucky to have you.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sharon Hartmann on March 28, 2009 at 5:56am: Praise God everyone is okay. Use this opportunity to be thankfull everyone is okay. We all have time in our life we feeel the guilt. Know this was something you did not choose to do. Look for all the blessing we haave in life and just be thankful; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Amalie Simper on March 28, 2009 at 6:40am: I am sorry that this happened to you. I think everyones comments are wonderful and know that you aren't the only one that has been through this. Everyone is thinking about you and wishes you well.; ▶ Reply to This

Guilt after an accident

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