Has mommy guilt got a hold of U?
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5 after 1 vote
So what do you do when guilt strikes? Is your guilt making u crazy?
According to dictionary.com the definition of guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. The guilt gene is triggered the minute we become a mothers. Guilt it weighs us down. It creeps into our psyches and keeps us up at night.
Mommas Little Helper
According to dictionary.com the definition of guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. The guilt gene is triggered the minute we become a mothers. Guilt it weighs us down. It creeps into our psyches and keeps us up at night.
Mommas Little Helper
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Hayley Hewitt on -
Guilt and Motherhood go hand in hand. I work at the moment and have lots going on (as we all do) so I struggle to get as much quality time with them as I would like. I constantly beat myself up about it.
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Permalink Reply by candi on -
When you hire a nanny, you check her background, references and experience. You want the perfect person to care for your children - someone that they’ll love and want to spend time with.
But what if they love her too much?
It’s common for mothers to feel threatened by - and envious of - their nannies. It’s often difficult to leave your kids to go to work, and here’s this “other woman” who gets to do all of the fun stuff that you’re missing - playing with your kids, teaching them new things…even being there for their milestones. Talk about major mommy guilt!
It’s natural to feel possessive and protective of your kids - that’s the maternal instinct. It’s also OK to need help with childcare - it takes a village to raise a child, right?
But hiring a nanny :, which is supposed to make our lives easier, can be complicated, as many mothers struggle with the unique dynamic of this relationship. You’re having an intensely intimate relationship with your employee: she has become an instant part of your family. She sees you at your most vulnerable (in your bathrobe after a sleepless night with a sick baby), she gets a glimpse into your personal life (your house is always messy) and she’s sharing the most personal, familiar routines with your children. She’s comforting them when they’re hurt or scared, cheering for their successes and doing all of the other things that you would do - if you were there.
Other moms have similar feelings, as discussed in this “nanny envy” interview: www.nannies4hire.com/gma_video.html.
While you may feel conflicted or upset that your child loves your nanny so much, it’s actually a good thing. Don’t you want your child to feel comfortable with their childcare provider?
You aren’t the only mom to feel “nanny envy.” You’re also not the only mom to feel guilty about working, not keeping a spotless house, not baking bread from scratch…and the list goes on. Give yourself a break, do the best you can and count on help from others - including your nanny - who really does have your family’s best interests at heart
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Permalink Reply by Krista Dunk on -
I've talked with other friends who are business women of faith about this mommy guilt topic recently too. In some ways, the fact that we feel a sense of guilt and stress about possibly falling short, shows that we care deeply. This should be reassuring!
Obviously we are not perfect, but knowing that we strive for love, safety and encouragement for our children's well-being means we are on the right track.
Take heart - you are great moms!
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Permalink Reply by Coach Jen on -
I spent a lot of time as a mom feeling guilty but have learned that kids actually can feed off of that! Much better to hold your ground and let them learn that moms are NOT perfect and that itself is a learning lesson.
I have found that being actively involved with activities that my kids are engaged in helps me create space for my "own" time and the helps alleviate some guilt. For instance, my kids all take music lessons. I am a musician, but never played violin. When my daughter started, I started with her. Now she has a choice during practice time if she wants to share that with me. Sometimes she wants to practice alone, but other times she asks me to practice with her.
I, too was a product of generational guilt. Now is the time to break the cycle and recognize that when we take time for ourselves as parents it is a win for our kids because we are more present, active, and wonderful as moms.
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