Help my husband wants another baby!

Rating: 5 after 1 vote

I have two little boys 4 and 1.5. My husband on a weekly basis says he wants another child. I really don't think I do. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. A diaper free life would be amazing. Not to mention I look forward to family trips (which are out of the question right now.)
My husband is adopted and does not know his birth parents. Because of this he has a huge want to create a blood line of his own. I hate being pregnant, I go crazy and am miserable for 9 months. I tell him all the time I am done having children, he seems to think I will change my mind. What would you do or say to your husband?

Tags: baby, pregnant

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by shawnamawna on February 25, 2009 at 12:15pm: I'm at the same point right now-- I always wanted four, but now I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I have a three year old and a seven month old. I'm fine with the baby. I LOVE babies. I could have babies forever. But toddlers--I don't know. I still really want 4 kids. But I also want a life outside of diapers and time-outs. I'm so scared if I don't stay on this timeline, I'll be too chicken or unable to convince my hubby to have more. He wanted the second one, but he's pretty set against more than two. It's just that I've never met a mom who stopped at two and didn't regret it. No matter their age. Honestly.

As for the main question here--he was adopted. I bet someone's already said this, and it was addressed in stating the hubby in question wants a large bloodline, but couldn't adoption be a way to fulfill the desire for more kids without having to go through the misery of pregnancy again?

Fantasy Sports Widow said:
It's funny...my husband and I always talked about having 4. Well...we have two. I struggled with it for a bit thinking that MAYBE I would want another (I still could if I really wanted to) but in all honesty I think it would put me over the edge! My husband and I both come from 3 and every so often we joke about having another but in reality it would be so hard for us to go back. I think if you are going to do it...do it now while youre in the thick of it because it is much harder to go back... Oh and this is coming from someone who LOVES being pregnant and giving birth...it's those toddler years that make me wanna cringe! :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Pam T on February 26, 2009 at 4:17am: Sit down and do the calculations for college. After that sobering number crunching my husband and I decided that no matter how much we wanted a larger family that it didn't make sense. If the desire persists, one option would be to agree to pay for one college plan before re-initiating the baby conversation. The plan in our state is 20K. Not exactly a drop in the bucket.

Counseling might also be a consideration. Wishing you well!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by MommaJam on February 26, 2009 at 7:00am: Hi there, hang in... maybe being pregnant the third time won't be so bad. I was sick with second pregnancy and totally fine with the first. It's funny, I think I want another baby but my husband does not want one. My kids are 3 and 5, so I see the light now, but did not until my youngest was about 2 or 2 1/2.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Working-mom-of-2 on February 26, 2009 at 12:50pm: I suggest you maybe think about adopting yourself. That way you can skip the pregnancy.

I have 2 boys 3,5 and 5 and if I would have been younger I would have loved to have a 3rd child.
Adopting over 40 is not possible in Germany and we are happy to have 2 healthy kids.
My husband would have loved a daughter as well though....

Good luck. It's a difficult situation for both of you.
I keep my fingers crossed.
Manuëlle; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Joy Neva on February 27, 2009 at 5:32am: If you know anyone that has a newborn, and they will let you take care of the baby for a weekend, have you husband stay home and remember how it is to have a new baby in the house. Although, if I did this, I guess it would not help. My husband didn't really get involved in the day to day activities of a newborn. If your husband is not as helpful as you like, don't put yourself through it unless you really want that too. That is a resentment waiting to happen.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by tracey lamphere on February 27, 2009 at 11:48am: I have the opposite problem as well. I loved being pregnant and would love to have 3-4 kids, but hubby says no. Maybe if you let your hubby spend an uninterrupted 48 hours with the boys he would sing a different tune? 18 months is still young and the oncoming twos are no picnic, maybe revisit the topic in a year? The older one will be in school and the younger one will be out of diapers. Maybe by then you'll change your tune.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Ruthie Appleby on February 28, 2009 at 12:13am: do it, you're only young once...when you are old you will have more chances to have someone to take good care of you :)
Ruthie; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Nanette on March 31, 2009 at 10:19am: My husband wanted more children too. We have3. My oldest is not biologically his but he has been in her life since she was 2. Getting back to the question-----My husband wanted more but my last pregnancy was rough for me. I told him that I did not want anymore because physically I can't do it-that still didn't change his mind until we went into surgury. My tubes were clipped after I gave birth. My husband and I talked about it and we have considered adoption.

Talk to your husband about adopting maybe he will be willing to give a loving home to a child that need it. He of all people should know how rewarding it can and will be.; ▶ Reply to This