Helping your child deal with the loss of a loved one
I know this is a heavy topic but I hope that people will respond and not look away. I am the mother of 4: a 17 y.o. son, 10 y.o. twin daughters and a 19 year old son who was killed in an auto accident on 10/12/08. My children miss their brother and exhibit their grief in different ways.
Today one of my daughters came home talking about a movie she watched in science and how it upset her because part of it showed a shipwreck and talked about the deaths that happened. She left the room crying and her teacher apologized to her. She was still in tears when I picked her up. I want to know how others help their children through grief as they themselves are grieving. I know for me when my children hurt, I absorb their pain.
Today one of my daughters came home talking about a movie she watched in science and how it upset her because part of it showed a shipwreck and talked about the deaths that happened. She left the room crying and her teacher apologized to her. She was still in tears when I picked her up. I want to know how others help their children through grief as they themselves are grieving. I know for me when my children hurt, I absorb their pain.
Tags: a, child, children, comforting, grieve, helping, losing, sibling, your
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kim Walls on -
I just lost my father (kids grandfather). It truly sucks. I was just as honest with them as possible and made it really clear that I'm not going anywhere. Mostly, I just let them express their feelings and I hugged and kissed them a lot. All the hugging and kissing helped me as much as it helped them for sure. So sorry for what you are going through! xoxoxo
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Permalink Reply by Jacqueline Moore on -
Thank you Kim. You put the reality of the situation of the truest form. It does suck. A year after losing my son I still wake up every morning and fight my way out of bed. My boy is gone. My children have also been dealt with honestly by my husband and I. They know they can express however they feel. I agree with you, the hugs and love we give each other help everybody. I have a blog post entitled "Learning from Each Other" on my blog: http://alwaysmomof4.wordpress.com/. I hope you'll have time to take a look at it.
Kim Walls said:I just lost my father (kids grandfather). It truly sucks. I was just as honest with them as possible and made it really clear that I'm not going anywhere. Mostly, I just let them express their feelings and I hugged and kissed them a lot. All the hugging and kissing helped me as much as it helped them for sure. So sorry for what you are going through! xoxoxo
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Permalink Reply by lillian touchet on -
I know how diffucult it can be on the kids that are feeling grief. i lost my son bobby in 2000 he was 2 months and 26 days old he passed away from sids he has been in heaven for 9 yrs now and my children at the time didnt understand but now as they have gotten older my 22 yr old is ok my 18 yr old son is into drugs my 15 yr old is pregnaunt with twins and my 12 yr old passes time with being in as many sports as possible. now my 18,15 yr old were hit the hardests see my baby was my second son so his brother who is 18 is the only son now he lost his brother i have tried to talk with him but it seems not to help my marriage of 16 yr in 2003 ended their dad remarried i have just found my soulmate after being divorced for 6 yr, Now for my 15 yr old she has never smiled since the day her brother passed but when she found out she was pregnaunt she smiled from ear to ear. but even more happy when she found out it was twins. and that their boys. I thinkthat my 12 year old is still too young to remember cause see she was only 3 years old and it was her birthday that we buried him on i didnt even realize it that it was her birthday until it was too late but i made up for it but see my 15 yr old who was 6 at the time was so confused she begged god to please give her brother back. She even asked her nanny could god take her baby and give her brother back my sister in law didnt now what to say at the time but cry and tell her to pray.
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Permalink Reply by brandy w on
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my kids are younger than yours. They lost their granmother last year, and it hit my 4 year old really hard. Counseling may help, but not always. What was most helpful for my daughter was to make a memory book, with all your favorite pictures. It really helped my daughter get over her saddness.
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