Hookups vs. intimacy
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For teens, hookups are the new dating. But some say it's ruining kids' chances to learn how to be intimate. But, did anyone ever teach any of us how to be intimate? Not me. So, should we parents be freaking out about hookups, or will kids figure it out on their own? Should we be teaching them how to be intimate? I chat about it today at the OMG chronicles. What do you think?
Tags: dating, hook-ups, hooking, hookups, intimacy, parenting, parents, relationships, sex, teenagers
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tonja Valdez on -
This is such a great question! Having been married for what seems to be an eternity and then separating from my spouse last year, I must say the "rules" seem to have really changed. Although I am not dating I have become more aware of the current terminology. Hook-ups seem to have two connotations 1. A casual connection -like-"hey lets hang out" 2. Casual sex or casual sexual contact. Casual appears to be the commonality and accepted understanding. That means no commitment - to anything.
Personally, I feel, and teach my children that casual is fine and has it's place in certain relationships. However, not when sex is involved. The sexual act changes the scope of the "relationship" as it should, and this should be an intimate relationship before being physical.
My children take their cue from me and, I have had many conversations with them on these topics. I would never leave matters of lifelong importance hanging in the balance of "letting them figure it out"- They are kids and require our direction, love and support.-
Tonja Valdez
Founder, Purity Essential Mineral Makeup
www.buypurity.com
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Permalink Reply by lissette on -
Hi I have to agree with you on the fact that we have to teach and guide our children. I have 3 boys ages 11 12 and 15 and I try to have an open relationship with them. I want them to feel they can ask me anything with out feeling scared.communication is everything. I know its hard being a teenager but if they have a strong family and good friends they will make smart choices
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Permalink Reply by The Redhead Riter on
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This question is on my mind every day. My sixteen year old daughter just started dating which was always the 'start time' for the big event. I have taught her everything that I could about dating, marriage and intimacy along with morals and values. At this point, I have to just step back and hope that she will remember what I have taught her. So far, she has been obeying the rules which are few. She has a curfew and she isn't late. She goes where she tells me and does what she says because I have been "watching" a few times...she won't ever know I have done this, but she wouldn't be surprised. I tell her that I trust her and I don't want her to feel "yucky" from being used or ruin her life with a teenage pregnancy. Now, I just have to guide gently, remind frequently and let her enjoy her life.
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