How do you discipline a two year old?
I'm new to Twitter and this is the first group I've joined. Does anybody have a toddler with tantrems that make it impossible for you to go out into public? Just how do you discipline a 2 year-old? Time out and sitting on her does not work. Ideas anyone?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Katrina Sevin on -
I have a 2 year old son and I really have to deal with his tantrums depending on his mood. Right now I know a lot of his frustration turn into tantrums when he's trying to communicate with me and I don't understand. A lot of patience gets us through these tantrums and I find they are happening less and less the more he's learning to talk and communicate. Now, if I can't understand what he's saying after a lot of talking it through, he'll give me his hand and lead me to whatever it is he wants or is trying to show me.
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Permalink Reply by Beth Gutierrez on -
I will admit since starting this conversation, I've noticed the same thing with my 2 year-old. The more words she learns the less frustrated she gets. And yesterday in the middle of a tantrum I took her hand and told her to show me what she wanted, needless to say it was a toy that she dropped earlier and could not reach it. Her tantrum quickly resolved once she noticed I could get this for her.
Katrina Sevin said:I have a 2 year old son and I really have to deal with his tantrums depending on his mood. Right now I know a lot of his frustration turn into tantrums when he's trying to communicate with me and I don't understand. A lot of patience gets us through these tantrums and I find they are happening less and less the more he's learning to talk and communicate. Now, if I can't understand what he's saying after a lot of talking it through, he'll give me his hand and lead me to whatever it is he wants or is trying to show me.
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Permalink Reply by Kathleen Hogg on -
Here are some tips that have worked for me.
1. Do not respond to the freak out - once you respond they know they have you. I would ignore them and go about my business and say, "When you are ready to calm down and ask me something, then Mummy will be happy to help you. If you yell and scream, I am not going to do anything." You must not respond until they calm down. This takes alot of patience and time, but it works.
2. Positive feedback for good behaviour. When they ask you something nicely, then you say "What a nice way to ask, thank you, yes you can do that". You catch more bees w/ honey.
3. If your child has a freak out in public (store, party etc.), let them know that you will leave if they don't stop and behave. Once you have made that threat you have to follow through.
4. Effective discipline depends also on the child, what will your child miss most. My kids are so different, that a time out on the stairs works for one, the other it is me choosing her clothes for a week.
You can also explain that good behaviour means that they can do alot of different things, bad behaviour means they are going to be pretty bored sitting on a stair all the time.
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Permalink Reply by MamaLuv42 on -
Just a suggestion, but if your little one is getting frustrated because she can not express herself perhaps teaching her sign language will help. The words are in there she can't get them out, however she is old enough to learn how to sign. They have great DVDs that would teach both of you. It's probably a good time to start her, in addition sometimes children will bite when they can not verbally express what they are feeling out of nothing but sheer frustration. In the end you will both win.
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Permalink Reply by Evon Duncan on -
Well ladies because I worked with Cps for the past 2yrs I wouldn't even touch my child, them seem to think any mark now days is a sign of abuse be careful.. because you can get caught up in the system..Do you remember being little our parents didn't tell us twice or had to explain why they asked us to do something. I found myself debating with a 3 year old yesterday about why she couldn't have another juice box..she just had one and she went in frig and got it without asking plus it was close to dinner time, after she asked me why about 6 times and told me why she was I finally said because I said so and that she was a child and she needs to listen. all with a smile. tantrums come and go walk away and leave them laying there listen to see if it stopped most likely it did when you walked out the room. after a week or so doing this they will get the hint no one is paying attention also let them know if you want to lay in the floor you can go lay in your bed they quickly get up..Think we tend to forget who pays the bills in the house..
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Permalink Reply by Beth Gutierrez on
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I hear walk away a lot! My daughter does not accept this.......... she chases me down wanting to fight me. This is why I have to restrain her. She will hurt herself and myself in the process. She has gone a couple weeks since having this type of outburst. I hope it will continue to be less and less.
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Permalink Reply by Evon Duncan on
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Let her no hitting you is not ok and take things away, time out works sometime. but i remember taking everything all my daughter had was a bed she couldnt watch tv nothing except read..it gets better but be consistant with her..when she hits thats a automatic time out in her room, she can kick scream but she needs to know that she cant do that in your house..Kids only do what you allow them to do..It gets better hang in there..
Beth Gutierrez said:I hear walk away a lot! My daughter does not accept this.......... she chases me down wanting to fight me. This is why I have to restrain her. She will hurt herself and myself in the process. She has gone a couple weeks since having this type of outburst. I hope it will continue to be less and less.
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Permalink Reply by Andrea on -
I agree with the patience part - it won't kill you. But I've also found a couple of other methods that work. My big girl - almost 3 - will kick and scratch at me when she's upset. Sometimes I put her in her crib (yep - we still have one - since she hasn't figured out how to climb out) and tell her that she needs to calm down and we'll come back when she's ready to be calm. However, most of the time - I put her in her big-girl chair and tell her she can come out of her room when she's ready to be calm. If it's really bad I hold her in her chair or sit in the chair and let her throw her tantrum on the floor - when she's ready to be comforted she comes and sits in my lap.
While we're out in public - I just leave. I know it's not the easiest advice - but just this weekend I had to leave a shopping cart full in the store because she was acting up. We got in the car (it was a STRUGGLE) to get her strapped in and went home. That was it, she knew I was serious.
On another note though - that stubborn personality isn't something that I want to extinguish. I think that in the future it will server her well to stick by her guns - so I try to nurture it in appropriate ways. When she really wants something I tell her to put up her patience umbrella - if she can hold out for a minute or 2 she can get it and it shows her that she can have patience. I also try to get her to see how it feels from someone else's point of view. If she kicks me - I ask her (when she's calm) if she thinks it hurts to kick someone - she says yes and then I ask how she would feel if I kicked her. Invariably the answer is - "ANGRY"...she gets it!
Hope that helps.
Andrea
http://parentise.com
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Permalink Reply by Nicole Laws on -
As soon as my boys turned 2, time outs started. They all are very strong willed. If they got up they were put back. They learned pretty quickly. I cant say they sit there quietly by any means. Sometimes, my almost 3 yr old usually screams at the top of his lungs. I set a timer for 1 min per their age. When it beeps I tell them why they were put there, they have to apologize, and I give them a hug and kiss. Sometimes I take them away from the situations completely and put them in their room until they can calm down. I always hae a time out spot when we go to someones house and Im not afraid to follow through outside the home too.
When we go out, and I do go out with all 3 by myself, I stick to this: If all is well we stay, if all takes a turn and isn't going so well we leave. I have a few embarrassing moments. One in which I did post on my blog recently. When we get home they go to their room for a time out. It has worked for me but every child is different. Consistency is the key!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Esther Irene Lewis on -
Having a two year old is a challenge. There are two things that really work with young children. But it takes a lot of hard work for mom (and dad) initially. If you do the hard work now it will pay off later in the grocery store. First, you have to be consistent. If you set rules for your child you have to stick with them. Children will naturally challenge those rules. You don't want your child to run in the road as you are yelling for them to stop and have them get run over because you didn't train them to stop when told. Obedience is a life saver. When you say stop, you mean stop. Training your child to do what they are told is not mean. It is part of raising children to live a life respecting you and honoring what you say. In turn they will raise their children the same way. You are setting a standard for your child's life that will be passed on to their next generation. That is huge! Second, set boundaries and keep them. Kids need boundaries. They need to know when bed time is. When dinner is served. They like to know they are protected and cared for. Boundaries are good. Your child is old enough to understand that it is not ok to have fits, period. When you say no to something, it is ok to let your child cry. Don't give in. You give in now, you will pay later when you are in public. After awhile when your child knows your no means no. They will stop. This will impact every part of your child's life! Training your child now will help them to obey their teacher's in school. To be able to go to the store without any episodes. They will grow up knowing who they are and be confident young people then adults. This is a life long investment that will get great returns. Your child is worth it. A good book to read is by Ezzo and Ezzo. Look it up on the web. I hope this helped or at least got you thinking. Have a wonderful day!
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Permalink Reply by Shannon on -
First, I'd try just ignoring the tantrum. They are trying to get what they want, and that can't happen, or they learn that it works. If it gets too bad, I'm all for a spanking. Like others said, not beating, but it needs to be firm enough to let them know you mean business, and that their behavior is unacceptable. This worked for me, and I've got three girls, ages 20, 18, and 11. Who all got lots of compliments on how well behaved they were. *toot toot* Yep, tooting my own horn there! LOL
Whatever you do, don't give in, and be CONSISTANT!
Best wishes,
Shannon
www.scentsy.com/shannonwilliams
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Permalink Reply by SophisticatedlyGreenMom on -
There is a lot of good advice here! I have a two year old who is very strong willed. A few things that really work well for me is to give him choices. (i.e. if he is tantruming over wanting to cross the street without holding my hand, I get down at his level, look him in the eyes and give him two options like I can carry him across or he can hold my hand). Surprisingly, he usually calms down and cooperates when he feels that he is in control. I have also found that ignoring him until he calms down works well, too. Good luck!!!! Patience, patience, patience:)
Shannon said:First, I'd try just ignoring the tantrum. They are trying to get what they want, and that can't happen, or they learn that it works. If it gets too bad, I'm all for a spanking. Like others said, not beating, but it needs to be firm enough to let them know you mean business, and that their behavior is unacceptable. This worked for me, and I've got three girls, ages 20, 18, and 11. Who all got lots of compliments on how well behaved they were. *toot toot* Yep, tooting my own horn there! LOL
Whatever you do, don't give in, and be CONSISTANT!
Best wishes,
Shannon
www.scentsy.com/shannonwilliams
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