How Often Do You And Your Partner Agrue Over Money?

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I hate to talk about money when it comes to talking about it with my partner! He can be tight with it and it drives me crazy! He's always been that way, but he does pay some bills. It's just when It comes to him giving me money when I need it then there goes a small agrument. Are you in this situation? How do you handle it?

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Tags: advice, conflicts, family, money, relationships

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Permalink Reply by ECHOage on October 16, 2009 at 12:04pm: We don't necessarioy argue about it, but there are a lot of discussions about it - not all of which are perfectly pleasant.
Roz
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Permalink Reply by Brennan Tomasetti on October 16, 2009 at 12:35pm: Money can be a difficult topic for many couples. In fact, some say say it destroys more marriages than any other issue. I think it is common for two people to have contradicting views on money matters, considering they were raised in different financial environments.

I believe it is important for both parties to be involved when it comes to matters of personal finance. I am not suggesting that you sit and pay the bills, side by side, every month but both people should have input to a plan and eventual decisions.

The first step should be to have a plan and some rules. Be prepared to compromise! What are your financial goals? Monthly budget? What is the dollar figure, over which, a person absolutely cannot spend, without consulting their partner? Set some guidelines and refine them, over time.

Once you have outlined your goals and set some rules, come back and revisit them, periodically. My husband and I have a monthly meeting - over coffee - we discuss concerns and check to see if we are moving forward according to plan. If progress has not been made, why not? Does the plan need to be adjusted? Does the spending need to be adjusted?

The best thing about the monthly meeting is that it forces the conversation - in a planned setting - not when you are on your way out the door for a nice dinner (which subsequently gets ruined)!! Make a conscious decision to hold that topic for meeting time only.

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Permalink Reply by ECHOage on October 16, 2009 at 2:09pm: Brennan - thanks for that - you are absolutely right.
Roz

Brennan Tomasetti said:
Money can be a difficult topic for many couples. In fact, some say say it destroys more marriages than any other issue. I think it is common for two people to have contradicting views on money matters, considering they were raised in different financial environments.

I believe it is important for both parties to be involved when it comes to matters of personal finance. I am not suggesting that you sit and pay the bills, side by side, every month but both people should have input to a plan and eventual decisions.

The first step should be to have a plan and some rules. Be prepared to compromise! What are your financial goals? Monthly budget? What is the dollar figure, over which, a person absolutely cannot spend, without consulting their partner? Set some guidelines and refine them, over time.

Once you have outlined your goals and set some rules, come back and revisit them, periodically. My husband and I have a monthly meeting - over coffee - we discuss concerns and check to see if we are moving forward according to plan. If progress has not been made, why not? Does the plan need to be adjusted? Does the spending need to be adjusted?

The best thing about the monthly meeting is that it forces the conversation - in a planned setting - not when you are on your way out the door for a nice dinner (which subsequently gets ruined)!! Make a conscious decision to hold that topic for meeting time only.

www.WomenGetWealthy.com; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 16, 2009 at 5:02pm: Thanks so much for your reply.

ECHOage said:
We don't necessarioy argue about it, but there are a lot of discussions about it - not all of which are perfectly pleasant.
Roz
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Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 16, 2009 at 5:04pm: Wow! Very nice advice. Thank you so much

ECHOage said:
Brennan - thanks for that - you are absolutely right.
Roz

Brennan Tomasetti said:
Money can be a difficult topic for many couples. In fact, some say say it destroys more marriages than any other issue. I think it is common for two people to have contradicting views on money matters, considering they were raised in different financial environments.

I believe it is important for both parties to be involved when it comes to matters of personal finance. I am not suggesting that you sit and pay the bills, side by side, every month but both people should have input to a plan and eventual decisions.

The first step should be to have a plan and some rules. Be prepared to compromise! What are your financial goals? Monthly budget? What is the dollar figure, over which, a person absolutely cannot spend, without consulting their partner? Set some guidelines and refine them, over time.

Once you have outlined your goals and set some rules, come back and revisit them, periodically. My husband and I have a monthly meeting - over coffee - we discuss concerns and check to see if we are moving forward according to plan. If progress has not been made, why not? Does the plan need to be adjusted? Does the spending need to be adjusted?

The best thing about the monthly meeting is that it forces the conversation - in a planned setting - not when you are on your way out the door for a nice dinner (which subsequently gets ruined)!! Make a conscious decision to hold that topic for meeting time only.

www.WomenGetWealthy.com; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Pamela M. Kramer on October 16, 2009 at 5:48pm: We did before we started taking Financial Peace University through our church. Now we are on the same page. Google Dave Ramsey and find a class near you. If not you can always check out his talk radio online. It's great.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sara R on October 16, 2009 at 10:54pm: My Husband and I use to argue over money all the time, it was horrible. That was when we both were working. Since I am a stay at home mom, now we don't argue about money. Instead we know we have a little bit leass and work on budgets together. We have less material items, but less arguments. I also have to say with one income we manage our money so much better than when we had 2 incomes.
Sara
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Permalink Reply by Rachael Carothers on October 17, 2009 at 2:11pm: I'm in a similar situation. My husband is fine when he's spending money on himself, but as soon as I want to spend some, he gets cranky about it. Most of the time I just ignore him. I feel that if he can buy himself new video games, I can get a manicure or something too.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 17, 2009 at 7:12pm: Hi, thanks so much for your reply. That's good you and your hubby can work things out like that.

Sara R said:
My Husband and I use to argue over money all the time, it was horrible. That was when we both were working. Since I am a stay at home mom, now we don't argue about money. Instead we know we have a little bit leass and work on budgets together. We have less material items, but less arguments. I also have to say with one income we manage our money so much better than when we had 2 incomes.
Sara
www.thebreathingpost.com; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 17, 2009 at 7:14pm: And you are so right. What's his is yours, you deserve to spend something on you without it being a problem as long as the bills and kids are taken care of.

Rachael Carothers said:
I'm in a similar situation. My husband is fine when he's spending money on himself, but as soon as I want to spend some, he gets cranky about it. Most of the time I just ignore him. I feel that if he can buy himself new video games, I can get a manicure or something too.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 17, 2009 at 7:17pm: Wow! You are busy lady. I do agree you need as many resources as possible to maintain financial stability. As long as you don't kill yourself over it. We have something in common, I'm the same when it comes to making extra cash.

Jackie Ladner said:
Money is the root of all evil, as they say, and I do believe it causes problems between the best of couples. When you live paycheck to paycheck it even gets worse, so I try to keep my hand in more than one cookie jar.. so to speak, lol.. I work at schools substitute teaching, I work at my moms salon on the weekends selling makeup, and I am a Diamond Team Leader to a Mia Bella Candles, I do ebay, some garage sales, sell some stuff on Craigslist, Blog for Money, the list goes on, I am always thinking of a creative way to make some more money.. These days it is hard just to survive much less, have a lot of extra cash flow, oh and my husband delivers pizzas 4 nights a week plus works full time as a truck driver.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Dana Neal on October 17, 2009 at 7:37pm: hmmmm money....YEP! We argue all the time over money. BUT, you live and learn. I try to budget what I can make from my business as a way to take care of my extras and leave my 9-5 for the houseshold bills; it's a struggle when you don't have clients, but I just learn to TRY to do without..it takes a lot to shut up about $$$$, but to keep the peace.....I do my best.

Dana Marie; ▶ Reply to This