How Often Do You And Your Partner Agrue Over Money?

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Permalink Reply by Galit Lazar on October 18, 2009 at 9:47am

Ask him what he is afraid of when he has to give you money. It seems to me that there is a fear behind it that doesn't necessarily has to do with you, but with him. Ask him what his parents told him about money, you might be surprised at his answers.

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Permalink Reply by Nicole Laws on October 18, 2009 at 4:05pm

I wouldnt say we argue but we both definitely stress about it. Especially the last 2 years, since I have been staying at home with my children. It's frustrating and to make matters worse my husband is a controller so he deals with finances everyday.

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Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 18, 2009 at 5:55pm

Hi, thanks for taking the time to respond to my post. Money is a very stressful subject with all couples. I would it be the same if we were Rich?

Nicole Laws said:

I wouldnt say we argue but we both definitely stress about it. Especially the last 2 years, since I have been staying at home with my children. It's frustrating and to make matters worse my husband is a controller so he deals with finances everyday.

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Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 18, 2009 at 5:55pm

Thanks, that's something to consider.

Galit Lazar said:

Ask him what he is afraid of when he has to give you money. It seems to me that there is a fear behind it that doesn't necessarily has to do with you, but with him. Ask him what his parents told him about money, you might be surprised at his answers.

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Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 18, 2009 at 5:57pm

Yeah I know what you mean. It's hard out there and life can get you down sometimes. It's a good thing we have God to depend on.

Dana Neal said:

hmmmm money....YEP! We argue all the time over money. BUT, you live and learn. I try to budget what I can make from my business as a way to take care of my extras and leave my 9-5 for the houseshold bills; it's a struggle when you don't have clients, but I just learn to TRY to do without..it takes a lot to shut up about $$$$, but to keep the peace.....I do my best.

Dana Marie

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Permalink Reply by Cat Purry on October 19, 2009 at 6:47am

My husband and I have always combined resources into common accounts and common credit cards. Usually he made more $ than I, but sometimes, I was the sole breadwinner. When we both worked, we got together every weekend to pay bills. We still get together to reconcile the accounts at least once a month and there is almost always a heated moment or three. Often there would be scratchy moods for hours afterward but over the space of 32 years we have learned to leave the grumps on the computer desk afterward. He even admitted once "I was wrong..." after a difficult session. I pretended to faint and fell out of my chair in disbelief. He liked that so much he has made a habit of admitting his rare errors ever since.

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Permalink Reply by Leandra Davidson on October 19, 2009 at 5:23pm

Key: Always ask for twice what you want, so it will seem like you really compromised. Always works for me. :o)

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Permalink Reply by Jacqueline Green on October 19, 2009 at 8:42pm

My husband and I have slowly got to a better place with money. He was a spender and I a saver when we met, so I often felt resentful. He probably felt like you because I didn't want him to have any money, but he has access to his own funds so that wasn't a huge deal for him. Still he didn't like me being mad every time he bought something.

What turned us around was doing a course together called Money Matters. In the course we learned to set up a budget that worked for all of our needs, including our fun needs. I have a tendency to hoard money and not spend enough on fun activities, nor on saving for trips. This system requires me to do 15 minutes of financial fitness every week day (I do it first thing before even checking email), and has been revolutionary for our finances. I love it because now I don't have to wait until we are independently wealthy to buy myself clothes or other things I want. I also love it because we can go on holidays or mini-fun days without putting anything on credit cards!

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Permalink Reply by Hayley Hewitt on October 20, 2009 at 2:51am

My husband is the money worrier of us two. Saying that lately, because times are so hard he has got me worrying too. I do get the odd dig or two from him about the shopping bill or something, but I just count to 10 and ignore it, if in a good mood. If not, I tend to tell him to go himself if he wants to keep the shopping bill down. This usually works! lol

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Permalink Reply by June Holliday on October 20, 2009 at 5:14pm

We don't argue over money! He and I neither one see the point. We are working toward a common goal together! We figured out in our first marriages that tug of war does not work in a relationship no matter the subject!

June
Music that Sings Your Child's Name

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Permalink Reply by Joanna Mercado on October 20, 2009 at 6:00pm

We argue every two weeks about the pay checks. He feels he should get most of his because he is the major bread winner and I should pay most of the bills with mine. It's difficult when people have different priorities.
I wish we were both better at saving money but unfortunetly we are not! Money has always been a hot button issue. I suggest starting an account just for bills! That helped us!

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Permalink Reply by Lorna Darden on October 20, 2009 at 6:18pm

I totally agree.

Joanna Mercado said:

We argue every two weeks about the pay checks. He feels he should get most of his because he is the major bread winner and I should pay most of the bills with mine. It's difficult when people have different priorities.
I wish we were both better at saving money but unfortunetly we are not! Money has always been a hot button issue. I suggest starting an account just for bills! That helped us!

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