Jon & Kate Plus 8 Drama - My Thoughts and Yours
- Rating:
5 after 2 votes
from my post on Mom Spark, see here...
I have been undecided for a while about whether or not to discuss the whole drama with Jon & Kate Plus 8. Part of this hesitation was due to feeling a little silly for caring so much, but after seeing hundreds of tweets on Twitter regarding this issue, I no longer felt silly. If you do not care about this subject, please skip on by to another blog and do not be hateful in your comments. We all have an opinion, which I want to hear, but please be respectful of the Gosselin family.
***
I am a TLC junkie. Have been since we first received cable six years ago. My favorite shows in the beginning were Trading Spaces, What Not to Wear, and A Baby Story. A couple years ago I caught the first special about Jon, Kate and their brood. As many other mom viewers, I was fascinated by the sheer logistics of caring for eight children. The second special captivated me as well, and I was thrilled to hear they were making regular episodes. Instantly, I was fan.
For those of you who not "get" what is so great about Jon & Kate Plus 8, let me share my thoughts. For some reason, I could relate to what Jon and Kate were going through on a daily basis. Watching Jon & Kate manage eight children actually made managing my two seem like a breeze, and actually made me thankful that my life was less chaotic than theirs. I figured that if they could do it with eight, I could easily do it with two. Another thing that drew me to the show was the roller coaster relationship between Jon & Kate. It was immediately apparent that Kate was really hard on Jon, and often treated him as one of her children. It was also obvious that Jon wasn't perfect either, and could be immature and distant. Having that friction between both spouses was also something that I, and others, could relate to, even if it wasn't exactly the same sort of friction. It seemed real, in the beginning.
Think what you may about me, but I have seen every single episode of this show. When you watch a "reality" show like this one from the very beginning, you feel like you know the family personally, which is honestly a little weird and creepy. It is fun peeking into someone else's life, and like I said, it makes you feel better as a wife and parent when you see them succeed or sometimes fail. HOWEVER, it is television. There ARE ratings, AND some of the episodes are staged, which takes away any "reality" left to the show. When the Gosselins start getting teeth whitening, hair plugs, and fancy vacations, you start to feel less and less connected with them, because most of us simply cannot relate to that lifestyle. Are they wrong for accepting the perks of being television stars? No, not at all, but it does alienate their viewers to a point. Regardless of their new celebrity-like life, I, and many others, still wanted to see the children grow up and hear their funny conversations. (my nine year-old thinks they are hilarious!)
Now...the season five premiere that aired last night. Even after witnessing four seasons of Jon & Kate disputing, AND reading all of the tabloid accusations floating around, I still felt incredibly sad for both parents last night. Seeing the awkwardness of them not talking or showing ANY emotion towards each other just ripped my heart out. I quickly forgot about all of the things that were turning me off about the show, because I saw real, true pain. Some would say they brought it upon themselves, and maybe they did to an extent, but it does not take away the hurt and potential damage to their family.
What made me most upset last night was the lack of conversation about working on their marriage. In my opinion, "doing what is best for the kids" would be focusing on their marriage and trying to salvage what they can. In all fairness, maybe they have. Maybe they are past that point. Seriously, we only see their life in episodes and tabloids. Honestly, I was surprised that they shared so much with their viewers about their marriage. I think it was somewhat smart to open up to the viewers, which may help avoid further trash talk. (not that the tabloids will care) Nobody likes to see a family go through a potential divorce, especially after seeing their children so happy and adorable at their birthday party. Hearing one of their daughters asking her daddy to be home more was really, really sad. Kids can sense when something is wrong, and as a child of divorce, my heart goes out to them.
As much as I want to see what happens next in their life, I really think they should end the show and come back to true "reality" for the sake of their family. I know the show and books provide Jon & Kate's current income, but it just isn't worth the trade-off of no privacy, not only with TLC cameras, but the paparazzi, during an especially sensitive time. Yes, they will still be recognized everywhere for years to come, but less and less as they resume their life as an IT tech and nurse. Viewers will indulge in a new obsession, eventually.
Overall, I truly feel awful for the Gosselin family right now, regardless of their past actions, whether they be true or false. Divorce is devastating, and I sincerely hope they can avoid it and make their marriage work. My hope is that their kids truly do come first, and because of that, they would be willing to step out of the spotlight, even if that means forever.
***
So, what do you think they should do? What were your thoughts about the premiere?
I have been undecided for a while about whether or not to discuss the whole drama with Jon & Kate Plus 8. Part of this hesitation was due to feeling a little silly for caring so much, but after seeing hundreds of tweets on Twitter regarding this issue, I no longer felt silly. If you do not care about this subject, please skip on by to another blog and do not be hateful in your comments. We all have an opinion, which I want to hear, but please be respectful of the Gosselin family.
***
I am a TLC junkie. Have been since we first received cable six years ago. My favorite shows in the beginning were Trading Spaces, What Not to Wear, and A Baby Story. A couple years ago I caught the first special about Jon, Kate and their brood. As many other mom viewers, I was fascinated by the sheer logistics of caring for eight children. The second special captivated me as well, and I was thrilled to hear they were making regular episodes. Instantly, I was fan.
For those of you who not "get" what is so great about Jon & Kate Plus 8, let me share my thoughts. For some reason, I could relate to what Jon and Kate were going through on a daily basis. Watching Jon & Kate manage eight children actually made managing my two seem like a breeze, and actually made me thankful that my life was less chaotic than theirs. I figured that if they could do it with eight, I could easily do it with two. Another thing that drew me to the show was the roller coaster relationship between Jon & Kate. It was immediately apparent that Kate was really hard on Jon, and often treated him as one of her children. It was also obvious that Jon wasn't perfect either, and could be immature and distant. Having that friction between both spouses was also something that I, and others, could relate to, even if it wasn't exactly the same sort of friction. It seemed real, in the beginning.
Think what you may about me, but I have seen every single episode of this show. When you watch a "reality" show like this one from the very beginning, you feel like you know the family personally, which is honestly a little weird and creepy. It is fun peeking into someone else's life, and like I said, it makes you feel better as a wife and parent when you see them succeed or sometimes fail. HOWEVER, it is television. There ARE ratings, AND some of the episodes are staged, which takes away any "reality" left to the show. When the Gosselins start getting teeth whitening, hair plugs, and fancy vacations, you start to feel less and less connected with them, because most of us simply cannot relate to that lifestyle. Are they wrong for accepting the perks of being television stars? No, not at all, but it does alienate their viewers to a point. Regardless of their new celebrity-like life, I, and many others, still wanted to see the children grow up and hear their funny conversations. (my nine year-old thinks they are hilarious!)
Now...the season five premiere that aired last night. Even after witnessing four seasons of Jon & Kate disputing, AND reading all of the tabloid accusations floating around, I still felt incredibly sad for both parents last night. Seeing the awkwardness of them not talking or showing ANY emotion towards each other just ripped my heart out. I quickly forgot about all of the things that were turning me off about the show, because I saw real, true pain. Some would say they brought it upon themselves, and maybe they did to an extent, but it does not take away the hurt and potential damage to their family.
What made me most upset last night was the lack of conversation about working on their marriage. In my opinion, "doing what is best for the kids" would be focusing on their marriage and trying to salvage what they can. In all fairness, maybe they have. Maybe they are past that point. Seriously, we only see their life in episodes and tabloids. Honestly, I was surprised that they shared so much with their viewers about their marriage. I think it was somewhat smart to open up to the viewers, which may help avoid further trash talk. (not that the tabloids will care) Nobody likes to see a family go through a potential divorce, especially after seeing their children so happy and adorable at their birthday party. Hearing one of their daughters asking her daddy to be home more was really, really sad. Kids can sense when something is wrong, and as a child of divorce, my heart goes out to them.
As much as I want to see what happens next in their life, I really think they should end the show and come back to true "reality" for the sake of their family. I know the show and books provide Jon & Kate's current income, but it just isn't worth the trade-off of no privacy, not only with TLC cameras, but the paparazzi, during an especially sensitive time. Yes, they will still be recognized everywhere for years to come, but less and less as they resume their life as an IT tech and nurse. Viewers will indulge in a new obsession, eventually.
Overall, I truly feel awful for the Gosselin family right now, regardless of their past actions, whether they be true or false. Divorce is devastating, and I sincerely hope they can avoid it and make their marriage work. My hope is that their kids truly do come first, and because of that, they would be willing to step out of the spotlight, even if that means forever.
***
So, what do you think they should do? What were your thoughts about the premiere?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Debbie Buck on -
I felt the show was sad, but I also felt that Jon appeared to not really care about what was going to happen. He showed little emotion over everything that has happened. He should be grateful for what the show has done for his family, for example, the MILLION DOLLAR home they were able to purchase. He talked about how he loved his kids but never mentioned loving his wife. Do I think he cheated? Yes. It's only normal to deny it. Hello! Bill Clinton. Lol. In their defense, they had no idea what this show would bring in the beginning. It could have failed for all they knew. I'm getting a little tired of all the media crap over the couple, too. They are being vicious when I do not think they need to be. I think Kate has every right to be pissed off at Jon because he should have known better and behaved more like the age he is versus 10 years younger. So you married and had kids young! So has a lot of people, myself included. I just felt he was kind of being a jerk. I feel for the kids though. Must be tough.
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Permalink Reply by Cyn on -
It seemed like there was a lot of anger underneath Kate's sadness and Jon's matter-of-fact demeanor. I think when you're both angry, it's hard to even listen to what the other person is really saying. It seems to me that Kate has found a job that she really loves and allows her to the mom she wants to be. Jon is missing that piece for himself and maybe why he's looking for it in some of the wrong places.
I think they can work it out, once they are willing to listen to each other. I've seen my friends go through similar rough times (without the media frenzy) and some have powered through, while others didn't make it. I hope Jon and Kate do.
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Permalink Reply by Kate Earley on -
I agree that this is truly heartbreaking to watch a couple who just renewed their vows (well recently on TV anyway) and vowed to stay together forever turn into a couple that can't even talk to each other at their kids birthday party.
I have to say that I think that maybe the show is the root of their problems - because in the last season Jon did mention that he didn't want to do the show any more and yet Kate did. I think while it was a great opportunity for them to make money etc to provide for their family, it's also taken a tole on them. I couldn't imagine having my house full of crew (now granted they've all been together for years now, but even so) the lights, the cameras and now the paparazzi following them every day.
I think that maybe they need to both compromise - maybe Kate still work writing the books etc and then no longer film the show. I think Jon has had enough with being in the spotlight and wants to go back to being just Jon and enjoying his family and maybe even have an every day job again. Or at least take a break from the show and then do a come back kind of thing once the little kids are older to then see life with 8 teenagers - ooh.. I don't envy that!
My heart truly goes out to Jon and Kate and the fact that this isn't only a private matter but of course millions of people are now interested on what's going on etc. I'm sure divorce is tough enough, without having tabloid accusations (if that's truly what they are).
I hope things work out the way both Kate & Jon want them to and that if it does mean a divorce that they can be friends and really be there for their kids, because I don't feel the way they handled the birthday party was what was "best" for the kids.
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Permalink Reply by Amy {Mom Spark & Mom Made That!} on -
Yes, you're right, it used to be a documentary, now it's a corporation!
I really, really don't think they plan on staying together, which is really heartbreaking.
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Permalink Reply by Julie on -
I too remember when this show started out and I used to like it but then I saw the changes with them over the years. They need to compromise and I could tell at the end of the last season it was tough. My girlfriend calls this the kate and swag show. I got tired of her always being mean to jon.
I have 5 kids and not 8 but I know my limits. I'm sure that being on TV was fun in the beginning but now it does seem like corporation of J& K +8.
www.tableforseven-julie.blogspot.com
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Permalink Reply by Zeemaid on -
I agree. I felt absolutely heart broken over what is happening between them. LIke you said, you do feel that you've gotten to know them. That yes, sometimes Kate was hard on Jon but really, aren't we all really hard on our men some times. They just have video footage to film it. But let's not forget what an extremely stressing time of it they have been having.
Up until they did the TLC thing money was so extremely tight for them. They hardly saw Jon then either. From what I recall he left early mornings and came back late evenings.
So they've gotten swept up in the whole celebrity lifestyle. Can we honestly say we wouldn't have made the same mistakes. Would we have turned down the vacations and the makeovers? Probably not.
In the end it's just plain old sad. I don't even want to read what the tabloids have to say. I think it's hard enough for them to put themselves out there and then to have everyone and their dog dredging up dirt on them. It must be really hard on them having Kate's brother putting his criticisms out there.
I also agree that they need to quit now and see if they can salvage their marriage and relationship. Maybe TLC should send them to the Dr. Phil house for a week.
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Permalink Reply by Tara Okie on -
I think they need to tell TLC to take a hike for the sake of their children and marriage.
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Permalink Reply by Amy {Mom Spark & Mom Made That!} on
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You bring up a good point, "Would we have turned down the vacations and the makeovers?" I really don't know, especially because most of us have never been in their situation. I really don't fault them for accepting gifts in the beginning, but now there are SO many, and they even have celebrities come to their house. (Emeril in a future episode) I am just personally losing interest in the show, and not because of any jealousy, but because I cannot relate to this lifestyle at all. The only thing the audience can somewhat relate to now is the struggle in their marriage right now. (which makes me wonder if they are concentrating on that so much for that very reason)
I truly feel very sorry for the kids and want to see them out of the spotlight. I really liked the idea of just doing a show once a year that shows family updates.
Zeemaid said:I agree. I felt absolutely heart broken over what is happening between them. LIke you said, you do feel that you've gotten to know them. That yes, sometimes Kate was hard on Jon but really, aren't we all really hard on our men some times. They just have video footage to film it. But let's not forget what an extremely stressing time of it they have been having.
Up until they did the TLC thing money was so extremely tight for them. They hardly saw Jon then either. From what I recall he left early mornings and came back late evenings.
So they've gotten swept up in the whole celebrity lifestyle. Can we honestly say we wouldn't have made the same mistakes. Would we have turned down the vacations and the makeovers? Probably not.
In the end it's just plain old sad. I don't even want to read what the tabloids have to say. I think it's hard enough for them to put themselves out there and then to have everyone and their dog dredging up dirt on them. It must be really hard on them having Kate's brother putting his criticisms out there.
I also agree that they need to quit now and see if they can salvage their marriage and relationship. Maybe TLC should send them to the Dr. Phil house for a week.
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Permalink Reply by becky on -
I have only watched this show when traveling as we are a cable-free household but was intrigued with what I saw and YES, the few times I saw it I noticed the controlling dynamics of Kate with Jon and his passive-aggressive attitude in return (and hey, we all have those dynamics in our relationships).
But a couple of things come to mind:
1. Ratings. We know that networks will go to absolute extremes for PR and ratings so fingers crossed for the children's sake that this has MORE to do with getting ratings than with their lives because, let's face it-- they sure have created a pr/media buzz.
2. If Jon and Kate are in such dire straits, there will be NO quick fix. Life, marriage and parenting are hard work and bring their inevitable bumps. Simply removing the show from their life could help in getting them out of the spot light but will potentially create even more disruption. Remember: this is the only life this family has really known-- having a camera crew in their home.
I just hope that the adults can find enough moments of introspection and hopefully couples counseling to work through these issues IF it isn't just Hollywood-hype.
Beckoning Balance
MOMSthatROCK!
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Permalink Reply by Melissa Smallwood, Multi-Tasking Mama on -
I completely agree with you, Amy. The best thing for those kids is for them to rewind just a couple of years and get back to the basics- doing what is best for your family TOGETHER. God's intention and will doesn't include divorce just because they have grown apart- I am praying for them and their adorable eight. I can't imagine what a difficult time this must be for all of them. I really hope they can get through this- even if it means giving up the show.
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Permalink Reply by Kim Cantrell on -
I love Jon and Kate Plus 8, but as I addressed in my own post, I'm done. I cannot sit and watch a family crumble before my very eyes. And if the Gosselins can't make that decision for their family, hopefully their fans will make it for them by not tuning in.
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Permalink Reply by Vanessa on
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I think that too many people are saying that they knew what they were getting into when they signed up for the show. IMO , even if they did realize what could happen, they probably thought it wouldn't to them. After all they are on a reality show on TLC not on MTV or VH1.
The constant tabloid reporting is INSANE. I read somewhere that a critic said that the paparazzi is no different than having the TLC crew filming them. It's completely different. They have control over that and the camera crew is recording them with PERMISSION!
I really believe that although we all want to know more, the only stuff that is our business about their lives is the stuff they choose to share on the show.
It broke my heart to see them struggling. I saw a commercial where Jon indicated that he can no longer be just Jon he has to be Jon and Kate plus 8 all the time. That is an overwhelming realization and I'm sure we've all felt that way at some point in life.
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