Mom Places Erotic Ad on Craiglists About 9 year old girl
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I recently saw a news story about a social worker mom seeking revenge against a bullying classmate of her 9 year old daughter who placed an erotic ad on Craigslist. The ad read: "I need a little affection... I'm blond, I'm cute and I'll be waiting." The mom of the girl targeted said her daughter received 22 calls in one day from men responding to the ad.
While I understand the frustration a parent may feel about seeing his or her child tormented and harassed, this story along with the story of a Missouri mother who was tentatively acquitted for her role in a MySpace hoax directed at a 13-year-old neighbor girl who later killed herself, highlights that parents have to walk a tight rope between being advocates for and defending their kids and becoming harassers.
Honestly, as a parent, I really couldn’t believe these stories. As a mom of two boys, I have dealt with my own children being harassed by other kids so I understand the frustration of the Craigslist mom. But to place an erotic ad and give grown men the number of a child, is just too much. After all, this woman is a social worker who should know better than to endanger the welfare of any child. As a social worker, I would also think she would seek out other ways and have access to other resources that would allow her to better handle this situation. The bottom line is that as parents we have to remember we are talking about children. My own personal thoughts are that if your child is being bullied try doing the following:
1. Talk to the schools. If your child is being bullied at school or the bus stop or even by a school mate outside school, talk to the school administration about this. I know a lot of schools don’t take bullying as serious as they should but as a parent it is your responsibility to make the school aware of the issue and talk to them as much as necessary. Do not worry about being an annoyance; this is after all your child. If you don’t find much assistance at the school level, take it to the superintendent or even try to form some type of network with other parents whose kids are being bullied at school. The more parents seeking to have the issue addressed the more attention schools will give to it.
2. Talk to the bully’s parents. Talk to the parent of the child who is bullying yours to see if you can get any resolution. Sometimes this can eliminate any bullying. Other times, a parent may not be willing to recognize that their child is a bully. The key is that you have to take all the appropriate steps to try to eliminate the issue rather than seeking to behavior that can harm the other child.
3. Teach your child to stand up for him or herself. The bottom line is at the end of the day you have to teach your child to stand up for him or herself. Your child has to understand there is a difference between defending himself and being the perpetrator and that it is ok to defend himself. As a parent, you aren’t always going to be there to help them resolve their issues.
My golden rule has always been that unless someone is subjecting my child to physical harm to help them try to address teasing on their own while I, as the parent, discuss the matter with the school, the teacher and the other child’s parent. At the end of the day, while we may get frustrated as parents, we have to keep trying to address the situation rather than crossing a line that would land us in jail and cause more harm to our family than the initial situation that started everything.
What would you do as a parent if someone were bullying your child?
Kim Crouch
Author, Mother To Son
www.kimcrouch.com
While I understand the frustration a parent may feel about seeing his or her child tormented and harassed, this story along with the story of a Missouri mother who was tentatively acquitted for her role in a MySpace hoax directed at a 13-year-old neighbor girl who later killed herself, highlights that parents have to walk a tight rope between being advocates for and defending their kids and becoming harassers.
Honestly, as a parent, I really couldn’t believe these stories. As a mom of two boys, I have dealt with my own children being harassed by other kids so I understand the frustration of the Craigslist mom. But to place an erotic ad and give grown men the number of a child, is just too much. After all, this woman is a social worker who should know better than to endanger the welfare of any child. As a social worker, I would also think she would seek out other ways and have access to other resources that would allow her to better handle this situation. The bottom line is that as parents we have to remember we are talking about children. My own personal thoughts are that if your child is being bullied try doing the following:
1. Talk to the schools. If your child is being bullied at school or the bus stop or even by a school mate outside school, talk to the school administration about this. I know a lot of schools don’t take bullying as serious as they should but as a parent it is your responsibility to make the school aware of the issue and talk to them as much as necessary. Do not worry about being an annoyance; this is after all your child. If you don’t find much assistance at the school level, take it to the superintendent or even try to form some type of network with other parents whose kids are being bullied at school. The more parents seeking to have the issue addressed the more attention schools will give to it.
2. Talk to the bully’s parents. Talk to the parent of the child who is bullying yours to see if you can get any resolution. Sometimes this can eliminate any bullying. Other times, a parent may not be willing to recognize that their child is a bully. The key is that you have to take all the appropriate steps to try to eliminate the issue rather than seeking to behavior that can harm the other child.
3. Teach your child to stand up for him or herself. The bottom line is at the end of the day you have to teach your child to stand up for him or herself. Your child has to understand there is a difference between defending himself and being the perpetrator and that it is ok to defend himself. As a parent, you aren’t always going to be there to help them resolve their issues.
My golden rule has always been that unless someone is subjecting my child to physical harm to help them try to address teasing on their own while I, as the parent, discuss the matter with the school, the teacher and the other child’s parent. At the end of the day, while we may get frustrated as parents, we have to keep trying to address the situation rather than crossing a line that would land us in jail and cause more harm to our family than the initial situation that started everything.
What would you do as a parent if someone were bullying your child?
Kim Crouch
Author, Mother To Son
www.kimcrouch.com
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