Question: Are Dads Allowed on TwitterMoms?

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Permalink Reply by Cara on November 3, 2008 at 8:23pm

I have seen several dads/guys here on TM. There is actually a group here for dads and several are a part of it (although not being a member I don't know how active it is...)

I'm not bothered really. There are a lot of stay-at-home DADs that never get the recognition they should for being the SAH parent, and do a TON of great stuff with their kids.

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Permalink Reply by Christopher on November 4, 2008 at 9:58am

I got an OK before I signed up. I'm not a dad, but I think I can speak to this issue of male-ness on the site.

I actually stayed away because I thought it was exclusive until I got an invite. I just stuck to talking to Megan on Twitter about the site and about supporting moms and women. Then I asked about the invite and whether I could join because after the invite, I thought of what a nice way to meet and talk to moms and women about solving problems and such.

She expressed the same concern on behalf of worried members. But I asked her to check me out and let me know.

I wouldn't take away the name of the site nor would I change the theme. I'm a social media enthusiast. I help moderate a major authority ning site on the subject. Having said that, I have a good understanding on how to navigate these networks. There's a certain finesse in treading these sites. I believe that you have to be there for an appropriate reason. The community can judge a member by his interaction with other members.

So for here, obviously I wouldn't think to inject myself into a discussion where my input just wouldn't flow with the direction of the conversation. Unless of course I was asked. Like I wouldn't comment on questions of breastfeeding and motherly opinions on certain things. Really is none of my business, at least not the degree where my male presence is absolutely warranted.

On the other hand, SAHM or mompreuer based conversations are. So I may or may not see fit to offer something to the dialogue. And it would be received well because it's appropriate, that is, it does not disturb the theme of the site, or the general direction of the dialogue.

So if I may lead a good example, my hope and expectation (perhaps yours as well) is that my interaction here is well received and nonintrusive ... supportive and not subversive ... congruent and not intersecting :) ... and may set a tone for other male and non Dad members. And that would allow the site to keep the name, and keep the theme, keep free from conflict, and continue to be such a valuable resource and community for moms and women across the world.

Would you agree?

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Permalink Reply by Tammy Dantzler on November 4, 2008 at 10:10am

You legally can't stop them from joining and their is a Twitter Dads group already formed. Originally, I think it was created as a moms social network by our creator. I hope by them joining that it doesn't affect any of our girl conversations or the realness of TMs will be lost. However you can't just change the name to Twitter Parents. Men on twitter started investing what TMs and GNO's was all about and some are genuine with joining and some are just targeting TMs for business purposes only. Everyone is aware that Moms makes the most important decisions today in households! Some are really great dads just read their BIO, if you don't feel comfortable don't socialize with them and be careful what you post Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. LOL

You really got to give them a hand though, because their journey on TMs will be educating on how moms think and process decision making on any topic we discuss. I hope that TMs embrace this opportunity to pick their brains, so we can better understand the inter workings of men's thought process.

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Permalink Reply by Stefanie Prose on November 4, 2008 at 11:21am

I go back/forth on this question.
To be perfectly honest, I don't like Twitter because I have every Tom, Dick and Harry asking to join me. They really have no reason too, what I have to offer as far as sites doesn't help them once I check them out.

Now, on TwitterMoms, if someone joined me because they were interested in something I was writing about or selling, it would be fine, but not if they were just trying to get me to know them and what they have to offer me (selling me stuff)

I go both ways because my blog, lifewpmdd has brought in more male readers lately than it ever did before. They obviously don't have any sort of PMS/PMDD issues, however, they do have spouses/partners that they are trying to understand. So, in this case they visit the site and learn and leave comments/questions on what to do to help, etc...

In matters like this, I am proud of them. My other blog I offer some freebie stuff on freebie programs that are out there to help so it could be for both, but mainly I would think my style of writing prob leans more towards women.

Hope this helps. I think there is a VERY fine line. I don't even check twitter anymore, I just have it. I do appreciate a little more 'specificness' (Yep, I am sure that's not a word!) when it comes to TwitterMOMS.

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Permalink Reply by Phoenixuncaged on November 4, 2008 at 4:06pm

I guess I go back and forth too.. If the man was a dad and worked for twittermoms I guess it is okay but why would someone working be making friends?

I mean we all want to be nice and say yes come join our mom's only club we'll make an exception for you... but I read a great blog about waxing.. I don't think anyone would have been comfortable answering those questions if they thought a man was there judging.. The conversation was for adult mom friends..

I think we can all use a little women time isn't that why we joined a site called twittermom's? It is made for US...

To be truthful I can understand that the Christopher is here by invitation if it was for work.. but your comments don't put me at ease. You admit your not even a dad and work for some other company and go read our blogs and discussions.. That is creepy to me.. You should be on TwitterDad's Not the Mom's site..

Anyways there is my 2 cents...

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Permalink Reply by minnemom on November 4, 2008 at 4:20pm

I may be in the minority, but I don't have a problem with it. Whether or not a man is registered or here or not, there are still probably plenty of men lurking around. I'm not naive enough to think this site is safe from prying eyes. As such, I'm careful in what I post. If I don't want my mom/dad/uncle/some stranger reading it, I won't write it.

Linda

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Permalink Reply by Noelle on November 4, 2008 at 4:36pm

I have to say initally I was a little uneasy about seeing men on the site. I feel they should and do have their own community and I guess I am a little selfishi in wanting the site for moms! However, I can see where it is relevant an that there can be guys as well as women who are here for the wrong reason. It won't keep me away. Noelle

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Permalink Reply by Christopher on November 4, 2008 at 10:14pm

Phoenixuncaged said:

To be truthful I can understand that the Christopher is here by invitation if it was for work.. but your comments don't put me at ease. You admit your not even a dad and work for some other company and go read our blogs and discussions.. That is creepy to me.. You should be on TwitterDad's Not the Mom's site..

Anyways there is my 2 cents...

To be clear, I don't work for a company like an Employee ... I work with a Director for another women's group with members in many countries. I'm sorry I creep you out though :( I just hope you understand my profile correctly before any judgments are passed.

I can only speak for myself having a genuine reason for being here. I can't really speak to this whole thing about people lurking around but I understand the issue very well as a social network moderator. It's an issue every network administrator has to deal with in the public forum.

My field takes me into many varied communities including women based communities, social media organizations, web business groups, marketing and advertising communites, urban entreprenuer groups .... anywhere really where people want and need to develop business and improve their situations.

At the same time, I repeat for the sake of reassurance, being on these varied networks requires that I maintain a nonintrusive and collaborative presence while representing my own network of joint venture professionals. That means I contribute where appropriate and do not take away from the integrity of the community. And I have good experience in doing so. Hope others come to see that too.

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Permalink Reply by Working-mom-of-2 on November 5, 2008 at 6:41am

I have no problem with this whatsoever. If they want to they can have a look around, I am sure there are plenty of women having a look around on guy's sites an nobody's complaining about that. For some hubbies it might put their wife in a completely different light reading about stuff here. I just think they should not mix in girlstalk-discussions. That's just for the girls and guys, please...... don't get online pretending you are female ..... we'll find out anyway.....

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Permalink Reply by Sangeeth Raghunathan on November 5, 2008 at 8:26am

This being the case, are women who are not mom yet allowed in this site? I have many friends who want to join but I said it is not possible because it is for moms and to-be moms....any thought?

Men??? I donno ...really cant decide if its OK or not OK....may be majority wins....

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Permalink Reply by SistersTalk on November 5, 2008 at 8:46am

I started BlogsbyWomen.org. The rule: you had to be a female blogger. I was very adamant about that. I didn't see that as discriminatory. I was creating a place for people (bloggers and marketers alike) to find a woman-centric community. I sold BlogsbyWomen.org a little while back. As far as I can tell, the rule still stands.

I started a Black Bloggers community awhile back as well. The rule: you had to be a Black/African blogger. No ifs, ands, or buts. Lots of marketers were looking for Black bloggers and I didn't want to allow non-Black bloggers who were just using the community (trying to get a link from a high PR site) to join.

My new community FreelanceBlogger.net is for bloggers and companies looking for bloggers. If I allowed non-bloggers into the community, that kinda defeats the purpose and dilutes the community.

From what I can tell here at TwitterMoms, there is no specific rule about men joining - as one guy told us that he was invited by the founder, Megan. I have LOTS of Dads following me on Twitter and I don't have a problem with that at all. But since I joined this site to meet and mingle with other moms, I've made a personal decision to not accept friend requests from guys.

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Permalink Reply by minnemom on November 5, 2008 at 8:47am

There are several women here already who are not moms, but I think yours is a valid question. There are also a lot of people whose pages only address their businesses and discuss nothing about their "mom" status. I'm not a fan of those who are here solely to promote their businesses.

Linda

Sangeeth Raghunathan said:

This being the case, are women who are not mom yet allowed in this site? I have many friends who want to join but I said it is not possible because it is for moms and to-be moms....any thought?

Men??? I donno ...really cant decide if its OK or not OK....may be majority wins....

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