Spanking. Do you believe in it? Why or why not? And if so, how do you decide when is it time for one?

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Permalink Reply by Mrs. Allison Draeger on July 6, 2009 at 10:15pm

We don't spank our children...we also watch Super Nanny and she is right about if we spank our children than we are teaching them thats its ok for us (parents) to hit when we are supposed to be their security and comfort. Yes there are consequences, however we believe that there are so many ways to instill discipline that are way more effective

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Permalink Reply by Holly Greathouse on July 7, 2009 at 12:21pm

With my stepson who is 7, he never listens , you culd tell him multpile times over and over to stop what he is doing, and nothing works, if he gets spanked it still doesnt work. Im for spanking, i feel that if you spoil the child and time outs is all they get they will never learn cause they think "ok well ill just do it again cause they just give me a 7 minute time out and i can do it again" if i have to tell him more than 5 times, he will get spanked, still dont work, but i dunno. My 2 year old she gets tapped i think she is to little to understand still, but people parents or not who think spanking is abuse, they should go through what we do as parents and then decide. it is hard for me cause i ahve 2 step children and i have less patients for them then i do my own child cause i was not ther to raise them. Its all on you and your decision really if your child is acting like a complete butt and you know he knows better, resorting to other punishments might be the way. Im at the grounding piont with the 7 yr old, and he ahtes the the most. My 2 year old if she does not listen she gets her butt tapped the first time and she wont do it again, if you continue to let it go and let it go, it just gets worse. First time correct them and he should listen, I hope this helps.

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Permalink Reply by Christi Glaser on July 9, 2009 at 11:39am

I just have to chime in one more time and say, in reply to the idea that spanking teaches our children that it is ok for us (parents) to hit, that there are times when a child *wants to know* that their parent will, in fact, hit someone. I can't imagine growing up thinking my mom or dad would never use physical force to protect me. People who spank don't have to do so out of anger and children who are spanked don't have to behave out of fear. Children who grow up thinking their parents are pushovers will also be afraid for their own safety and will not have a sense of security, when the whole world around them uses violence to get what they want. We were born with a fight or flight instinct for a reason. Spanking can be used as a way to properly develop this instinct. 'Not spanking' can be used as a way to stifle this instinct. Let your kids know there is a time for spanking, and that spanking isn't the same as hitting, but let them know when the right time is and what the right reasons are. Spanking should be the exception to the rule and should be done out of love, not frustration.

And, by the way, all kids behave out of fear. Fear of being grounded, fear of parent's disproval, fear of losing toys, etc. Don't feel guilty about this. A child conscience isn't fully developed until adulthood.

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Permalink Reply by Naughty and Nice Lingerie on July 12, 2009 at 7:41am

I appreciate everyone's point of view on this matter, but if it were my child, I think that I may give my child one good spank to get his / her attention. When I say that, I mean just one spank, not too hard, not too soft, right there and then. This way, you have the child's attention, and then reaffirm what you want him / her to do. I don't condone excessive spanking what so ever, but I think that a spank every once in a blue moon will not harm a child's psyche. I ususally rely on "the look" to get the kids to do what I want them to do and that works for me. I know it can be so frustrating, especially when they are so young, but hopefully the comments everyone has provided here will help you reach a decision that is right for you and your family.

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Permalink Reply by Keria White on August 31, 2009 at 4:04pm

I had this problem in the past with my now 10 year old. He has ADHD. I just found that this was part of his problem. The key is to say what you mean and mean what you say. Following through is the key also. It sounds like he fighting for control. Start taking away things he enjoys. No matter how much he cries or throws a tantrum do not give in. After doing this with patience you will see it will pay off. Good Luck

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