What to do about fussy eater?????
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Looking for suggestions about fussy eaters. I spent an hour yesterday cooking chicken cacciatori, it was so yummy. Both my 5 year old and 11 year old groaned when they saw it and continued to comment on how gross it was. The 5 year old refused to eat it and my 11 year old plugged his nose while forcing it down. I don't know about you all but I had my last straw. I lost it a little because this is a usual occurrance and I had had it. Both boys were sent to bed after I lost it telling them that "when I was a child....blah blah, blah" and "the kids in Africa....blah blah blah" I asked both them to tell me what exactly it is that I make that they do actually like. I was thinking of making the things that they like every day for a week at a time. Like just make a batch of spaghetti sauce, freeze it in 7 portions and feed them that every day, for a week. And then the next week make tacos and do the same. Maybe then they would appreciate some variety? Cook something different for myself. I would like some opinions on this. I also have decided that one word of "yuck" or "gross" about the food I do cook is an immediate dismissal from the table and straight to bed. My husband works away from home three weeks out of the month so I won't have to worry about what he like...THANK GOODNESS. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by TheKitchenWitch on -
I feel your pain. In fact, the reason I started my blog was because I realized my older daughter ate only 15 foods (and ketchup was one of those foods, so you can see how low MY standards are). She did show interest in cooking, so I thought that maybe if she got more involved with meal preparation, things would improve. So we try to cook something together once a week.
It's sloooooowly working. It takes serious perseverance to battle a picky eater.
We have the two bite rule, also. And I completely agree that a "yuck" remark earns immediate dismissal from the table.
I like the idea of letting them plan one meal a week. Alas, at my house, it would always be pizza.
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Permalink Reply by claudia on -
i think i got off lucky . since my older brother was a picky eater i grew up with that. So when i had kids i knew i would try everything and anything to not have those nightly struggles. so when my oldest was old enough to understand(when she was a baby she really didnt care) i would let her know that she had to try it . i stuck by my word though if she didnt like it after a few bites then i would force it. i think that is why i dont consider them fussy eaters because they will try anything once. the battle will come when i try to sneak in the foods i know they dont like back into the menu :O)
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Permalink Reply by The Triumphant Child on -
Love it! This reply made my day - mean moms unite!
Aissa said:Maybe I'm a mean mom, but either they eat what I make or starve. If they don't eat when I cook and its ready, then I have them leave the table, cover their plates, and when they feel hungry enough to eat it, the food will be waiting for them. Not sure if its the right thing, but it works at our house.
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Permalink Reply by Nisha: The 9 Month Club on -
This discussion is very timely! My 9 month old son has been weaning for 3 months now and up till now he would eat literally anything I gave him (even the time I made the mistake of buying cauliflower cheese and it stank to high heaven AND tasted disgusting - but he ate the lot!)
But a bout 10 days ago he had Swine Flu. Since then he won't eat anything without a tantrum except fruit yoghurts. For a couple of days he got away with it but I sussed him out on Weds when he screamed for ages when I tried to give him his main meal and then shut up instantly when he saw the yoghurt pot in my hand!
So yesterday I refused him yoghurt and force fed him about 1/4 of his main meal.
Anyone else come up against this at this age?
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Permalink Reply by dinah on
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"the sneaky chef" is what you do! amazing cook book! what i luv most is that she has simple common american dishes, snacks, etc.
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Permalink Reply by Kelly Voelker on -
I can't help but laugh a little because I have the same problem - only it's with my soon to be husband! He won't eat a single vegetable, and I swear he'd eat spaghetti and meatballs every night (but it can only be thin spaghetti with Ragu flavored with meat sauce. I'm not kidding.) Don't judge me, but I'm seriously going to use some of these suggestions on him :) Love the tips!
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Permalink Reply by Jaye Lisson on -
I agree with Mindful Mimi! It sounds easy, and I know while the boys are sitting at the table scowling it will be difficult to bear. I have never changed my meal plans or my eating habits to accomodate my daughter(now nearly 8). She eats what I do, and if she doesn't fancy the appearance, her choice is to try it or not eat. And believe me, she eats! I will ask for her ideas for meals so she plays a part in what we eat, but I always make the final decision.
It may be frustrating for a while, but you cannot continue to be a slave to your childrens fussiness in the kitchen!
Good luck!!
Mindful Mimi said:My suggestion is simple, though I know daily life is not :-)
It's all very nice to want to cook what kids like but they would be eating pasta every day (I know mine would!). So I suggest you cook the healthy food with lots of veggies that you like, add a little something they like (but not always) and don't make a fuss about them refusing to eat. They don't like it? Tough, they don't have to eat it. They will eventually get hungry enough and then they can get the left overs heated up. End of story. They will whine and curse for a while, but if you stick to it, they will get that you won't budge and actually start eating properly. Believe me. All you have to get through is the first few days. And don't worry if they don't eat. They will if they're hungry. Just make sure they don't raid the pantry and eat candybars instead.
Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by Michelle Campbell Merten on
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Although I love all my fellow Moms and hate to criticize, I've got to say, "You've all done this to yourselves." These kids are getting what they want by constantly fighting about the food and making you think they'll die if they miss a meal. I know too many dear friends in your situation with the alleged "picky eaters."
My kids eat everything and I do mean everything. Because that is the expectation we set from the beginning. I have NEVER NEVER NEVER made a different meal for my kids. They know if they don't eat what we're having they won't eat. And guess what? They eat everything I cook, without complaint, and their favorites are the healthy foods (spinach, beets, green beans, broccoli). They just don't know any other life. They are now 6 and 7.
Whenever they are with a friend for a playdate and/or sleepover, I'm worried the other kid is going to ruin my hard work. They have friends that only eat the typical chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, etc. The parents say they just won't eat anything else. I say you've been manipulated and the kid is winning.
I KNOW it would be really hard to change a "picky eater's" pattern, once established, but I applaud those of you that have gotten serious about it. Good for you. The reason I am so tough on this issue is because of me. I am considerably overweight and I just don't want that life for my children. I was a picky kid and never learned to like healthy foods -- and it shows. It is my understanding that most eating behaviors are set by age 5 and I wanted to be sure my kids have better habits that I do.
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Permalink Reply by Eleanor Hendriks on
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My children are 6, 9 and 11. They each have things they don't love to eat and they each have favourites. Of course their choices are all different! But they eat what they are given with minimal complaint and they are often described as adventurous eaters by other households.
My strategy from the start has been to require that they eat some of everything they are served at home no matter what it is. And I keep serving things they don't like. Eventually (by about 9) they have come to like most of the things that they didn't like before (at various times this has included raisins, mushrooms, spinach, peas, corn, oatmeal, salad, raw tomatoes, bean sprouts, noodles, mashed potatoes and more...). I have mercy on them if they have a something they really don't like by not serving it so often or offering an equivalent if it is too healthy to miss or if is it the favourite of another family member. For example, when I serve sweet potatoes, which make my middle son gag no matter what I do to them, I sometimes also offer raw carrots and he can choose one of the two. The rest of the family loves the sweet potatoes and chows down.
I also believe in condiments -I allow them to put ketchup or ranch dip(AKA white ketchup) on whatever they like. As time goes on I start forgetting to put it on the table or run out more often. Eventually, they use less and put it on fewer foods. For a long time most of our salads were Caesar even though they aren't the most healthy, but now every one (including my greens averse hubby) eats all kinds of green salads
Sometimes there were battles to get the required bites (usually the age of the kid minus 1 for mercy) down but now my kids cheer when I serve Chinese Chicken Hot Pot -which contains mushrooms, red peppers, bamboo shoots, bok choy, baby corn, chicken and flavours non-traditional to our culture. Along the way we have had complaints about every one of those ingredients except the chicken. Imagine what they would be missing if we had allowed them to dislike the food once and then never serve it again?
At one point I had only 5 meals in my roster that were universally liked by every member of the family, were healthy, economical and took less than 1 hour to prepare. There was a bigger list if I relaxed some of the last three requirements, but I don't like to do that too often. Nowadays I can't count the number of meals that I could make that everyone likes and I'm still working on a few key ingredients that I'd like to cook with more often that still get wrinkled noses.
Sometimes they insist that they are full when all that is left on their plate is something they haven't learned to like yet. I don't like to insist that people eat when they are not hungry -I think this is probably more unhealthy than missing a few foods in one's diet, so I deal with this by having them have one bite of whatever it is and then not giving any other food until the next meal. I don't worry about them being a bit hungry for a few hours or even overnight. I also don't serve many meals that are all one thing that someone doesn't like. Chili is an example -I serve it with salad and cornbread because I'm still working on one kid with beans (he has come to love them mashed in burritos but doesn't care for them whole yet) and another kid with spices -she's still young, so I can see that it is too spicy for her to eat much of yet. But chili stays on the list of things I make for my family and not long ago my oldest ordered it in a restaurant. My husband and I nudged each other and said "remember when he only liked bread, pasta and cheese..."
Some children have more sensitive taste than others -my sweet potato gagging boy for example -but he has come to enjoy spaghetti which used to be the bane of his life. It used to make me so crazy -what kid doesn't like pasta?? and what am I going to hide the grated mushrooms in if I can't make pasta sauce?? He doesn't ask for seconds but he'll eat a decent serving without complaint unless I break my promise not to serve it more than once every two weeks.
One other thing we have done is taught them all to say "None for me, thanks" without going on and on about what they do and do not like when they are guests and we are not there to enforce our dinner requirements. This way they remain somewhat polite when visiting should they be served something they dislike. This doesn't happen often though, because by the time they are old enough to visit (non family) without us they can eat most things without trouble.
Not everything works for every family, but I feel that having too many dislikes about food is a real handicap for older children when they are going places and trying new things and the handicap can continue for adults.
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Permalink Reply by Jayne Bonilla on -
Great article by Mayo Clinic I wanted to share!
Children's nutrition: 10 tips for picky eaters
Children's nutrition doesn't have to be frustrating. Consider these strategies to avoid power struggles and help the picky eater in your family eat a balanced diet.
By Mayo Clinic staff
Has your preschooler refused to eat anything other than peanut butter sandwiches for the past two days? Or would your toddler rather play than eat anything at all?
If children's nutrition is a sore topic in your household, you're not alone. Many parents worry about what their children eat — and don't eat. However, most kids get plenty of variety and nutrition in their diets over the course of a week. Until your child's food preferences mature, consider these tips for preventing mealtime battles.
1. Respect your child's appetite — or lack of one
Young children tend to eat only when they're hungry. If your child isn't hungry, don't force a meal or snack. Likewise, don't bribe or force your child to clean his or her plate. This may only ignite — or reinforce — a power struggle over food.
2. Stick to the routine
Serve meals and snacks at about the same times every day. Nix juice, milk and snacks for at least one hour before meals. If your child comes to the table hungry, he or she may be more motivated to eat.
3. Be patient with new foods
Young children often touch or smell new foods, and may even put tiny bits in their mouths and then take them back out again. Your child may need repeated exposure to a new food before he or she takes the first bite. Encourage your child by talking about a food's color, shape, aroma and texture — not whether it tastes good.
4. Make it fun
Serve broccoli and other veggies with a favorite dip or sauce. Cut foods into various shapes with cookie cutters. Offer breakfast foods for dinner.
5. Recruit your child's help
At the grocery store, ask your child to help you select fruits, vegetables and other healthy foods. Don't buy anything that you don't want your child to eat. At home, encourage your child to help you rinse veggies, stir batter or set the table.
6. Set a good example
If you eat a variety of healthy foods, your child is more likely to follow suit.
7. Be sneaky
Add chopped broccoli or green peppers to spaghetti sauce, top cereal with fruit slices, or mix grated zucchini and carrots into casseroles and soups.
8. Minimize distractions
Turn off the television during meals, and don't allow books or toys at the table.
9. Don't offer dessert as a reward
Withholding dessert sends the message that dessert is the best food, which may only increase your child's desire for sweets. You might select one or two nights a week as dessert nights, and skip dessert the rest of the week — or redefine dessert as fruit, yogurt or other healthy choices.
10. Don't be a short order cook
Preparing a separate meal for your child after he or she rejects the original meal may encourage your child's picky eating. Keep serving your child healthy choices until they become familiar and preferred.
If you're concerned that picky eating is compromising your child's growth and development or if certain foods make your child ill, consult your child's doctor. In the meantime, remember that your child's eating habits won't likely change overnight — but the small steps you take each day can help promote a lifetime of healthy eating.
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Permalink Reply by Christie Lanning on -
I make dinner, and we have a two bite rule. If the kids don't like it, they can have a sandwich. I have found that by just doing this, I get them to try a LOT more, and do it much more pleasantly. My 9 year old LOVES Brussels sprouts and broccoli, but can't stand to eat a lot of typical "kid foods". He was a picky eater for the longest time, but by not making it such a big deal got him to open up to eating other things. I tell them they don't have to like it, they just have to TRY it. I hated it when it seemed like dinner was the worst part of my day, because of the comments and refusals to eat what I had made. Another thing that did seem to help me is getting the kids to help make dinner. Don't be a short order cook, and encourage them to try new things. I think it's best not to let it turn into a big drama every night, and at the same time don't let them control what is for dinner all the time. The theatrics (YUCK! Gross! I think I might DIE if I eat this!) should absolutely not be allowed, they should use a more polite way to say they don't like what's for dinner. It's trying, but mine now eat much better since I quit being so inflexible.
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