What's an appropriate age for our daughters to wear makeup?

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Permalink Reply by Tracy Liebmann on April 13, 2009 at 8:50am

Hi Nanette :-)
First, I would look at why you are afraid. Usually what ever we are worried about or focusing on will show up in our lives. Take the power away and the "problem" and it will disapear with it :-)

My daughter has a BFF who is almost 2 years older than her. One day I went to pick her up from her house and .....yep she was wearing makeup, I think it was just eye shadow, but it was that kind of dark evening type and it did REALLY surprise me! She was 11 and I didn't make a big deal out of it. She wanted to buy make up and I took her, she played around with it for like maybe a month...she is 13+ now and choses NOT to wear any make up! Dresses beutifully...her favorite store is Anne Taylor Loft Yet, when she was 11 she was all about wearing the funkiest things she could find, mix matched and crazy.

Again, I have found any time I have a BIG charge inside of me about something, it's ususally about me, my hangups or worries...so check that out. You want to keep your daughter close to you, not push her away...right. I always try to remember this "whats more important to me, my relationship with my daughter or being right about _______ (makeup)?! Take care and have fun! ~Tracy

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Permalink Reply by Maureen Miller on April 13, 2009 at 9:49am

LOL like you have control over this. I told my daughter no but she would take makeup to school, wear it there then wash it off before she came home. Also if she went over to a friends or out to a movie she would do this. Unless you are prepared to follow her everywhere....
What I did do was two-fold. My husband has always told me I look beautiful without makeup so I got him to do that more in her presence.
I also complimented her on her natural beauty. Which she would pooh pooh away but I noticed she would go look in the mirror.
Then I told her she could wear what she wanted. If something actually looked nice on her I complimented her on it. If not I never said a word despite how much she would slather on.
She once tried dyeing her own hair and it turned green. I never forked out a dime to change that little boo-boo. Now she gets it done professionally all the time and it looks really nice.
She is 22 and now wears very little makeup but what she does use she uses expertly.
I still wear nothing and we both respect each others choices but every once in awhile she will say something like: Gee mom that blush looks really nice.
Role modeling in all things is SOOOO important.

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Permalink Reply by Nanette on April 13, 2009 at 11:18am

Thanks for all of the advice MOMS. I know this will not only help me but help other moms with pre-teens daughters as well.

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Permalink Reply by Shawnasie Shear on April 13, 2009 at 12:47pm

I would introduce a little at a time and teach good application habits while introducing it. My daughter are 6 and 7 months so I haven't had to think much on the topic, but I do allow my oldest to experiment at home. I plan to introduce little things at 11 or 12. My makeup look is natural and clean looking and I use it basically to cover the unevenness of my skin.

HTH

Have a GREAT day!

Shawnasie

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Permalink Reply by HELEN on April 13, 2009 at 9:26pm

H there Nanette.
My name is Helen and I feel that children should not wear serious make up until they are at least 16. I think allowing them to experement at home with their friends is a good thing. I have never been one to wear make myself as I think it is a waste of time and is expensive and is not necessarily good for your skin. It encourges them to grow up too quickly. To me it is who you are underneath all the makeup and not what you look like with all the makeup on. I do agree though it is important to let them try it gradually for example lip gloss at 12 and eyeshadow and 14 etc.
I maybe old fashioned but I do not wear make up at all. My mother always used to encourage me to wear to it and my agrument was I am beautiful they way I am ,why do I need to change my apperacne and be someone I am not. I had a hard battle with her but she finalised realised that she was not go to win and gave up telling me to wear it.

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Permalink Reply by Diamond Emory on April 14, 2009 at 6:25am

Well Nanette, I also have an 11 year old daughter. The rule in our house is no makeup until you're 16 and I'll tell you why. I consider makeup a rights of passage, like driving. Our girls are growing up too fast and not encouraged to enjoy being the age that they are. They are also not encouraged to appreciate their unique beauty. God created each and everyone of us different on purpose! There is none one else in this entire world that looks, acts, or thinks like you! That is to be celebrated, but the world wants us to fit into a box, we all need to be tall and thin, shave our legs, have long hair etc. I allow her to wear lip gloss though she doesn't wear it daily. She is NOT permitted to polish her finger nails, toes are fine as long as I approve the color. But fingernails, not yet. Our young girls are looking older than they are and attracting attention from men in the wrong way. Unfortunately, it's the world we live in and we must be aware of these things, there are crazy people who prey on young children. With all the steroids and hormones in the food our children are already physically looking much older than they really are. Most young ladies these days have breasts and hips that clearly surpass what we looked like when we were their age. Everything permissible is NOT beneficial. If I allow her to do too much now, what will she have to look forward to? I went to high school with girls that had been wearing tons of makeup since middle school, they looked aged before their time. Most parents don't take the time to investigate or consider all the different chemicals that are used in makeup. These chemicals are not good for skin, especially for children. Most makeup is also designed to age you more, which is why you continue to use the product. Most parents are also not going to invest in expensive makeups like Origins or Bare Minerals that are made from safe natural products. By teaching my children how to properly take care of their skin, eating properly, not drinking or smoking, getting proper sleep they can enjoy their natural beauty with minimal or no make up at all. Besides, most African America women age gracefully..you know our saying, "Black don't crack" girl its true..smiles. Yes I'm old fashioned, yes I'm proud of it. My daughter is 11. I want her to enjoy being 11 and having fond memories at each age. Everything in this world that is permissible is not beneficial. Thanks for allowing me to share.

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Permalink Reply by Mari on April 15, 2009 at 9:14am

Oh gosh Im a sucker here. My daughter has been using lip gloss since she was 4. And on some events I'll let her use sparkly eye shadow. LOL.

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Permalink Reply by Melanie Long on April 16, 2009 at 4:26pm

I have a daughter who is about to turn 8 and i let her wear lipgloss and alittle bit of eyeshadow ... i don't see any harm in it

Mari said:

Oh gosh Im a sucker here. My daughter has been using lip gloss since she was 4. And on some events I'll let her use sparkly eye shadow. LOL.

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Permalink Reply by Deb on April 16, 2009 at 11:14pm

Holy cow.... what memories I have from my own teen years and how I rebelled so much because my mom made even the smallest amount of makeup such a huge issue! I decided I would not make a big deal of makeup, but instead educate both my girls (6 yrs. apart) on how to apply, what kind is appropriate when etc. My almost 22 yr.old rarely wears any, perhaps a tiny amount of the lightest pale-pink eyeshadow, and she wore it the first time at 16 for homecoming; and my almost 16 yr.old goes many days without, and other days wears some eyeliner and a little foundation/cover-up to hide blemishes.
We have fun playing w/makeup and taking pictures of each other.... it should be a bonding time for mothers/daughters.... there are way too many other things to really worry/stress over. Kids usually go overboard when their parents show the greatest objections.

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Permalink Reply by Evangelia Biddy on April 17, 2009 at 3:08pm

This is a good question! I publish a parenting magazine called Junior. Though we focus of the developmental needs of boys I did do a feature story in the current issue on middle-school girls. I encourage you to order a copy. Visit www.juniorthemagazine.com. Parents should keep their little girls looking and dressing like little girls. So much adult content is introduced to them too soon in the movies, the music, etc. When our girls look like little girls it serves as a shield for them. Grown men as less likely to come on to them. Girls will have plenty of time later for makeup. A little lip gloss is all a young girl should be wearing. My own mother was very strict with me on this subject. At 15 or 16 is a good age.

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Permalink Reply by Naomi "Digitalfangirl" on April 23, 2009 at 6:46am

Here's the reality. You're daughter will most likely NOT ask you that question. She'll most likely be introduced to makeup at school while in the bathroom with her friends.

I have a 12 and 15 year old and they both wear lipgloss and I let them go wild with that. My only rule about lip gloss is; they cannot wear red. When I ws growing up red colored lip gloss/lipstick was not allowed. I think it makes you look like a baby hooker. Other than that go for it. My girls are both obsessed with lip gloss and I don't mind that at all.

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Permalink Reply by Mrs. C on April 23, 2009 at 8:19am

I was brought up that I could only wear it when I was in high school. I have a daughter now in High School but her friends were wearing it when they were in 6th grade. Not many girls weren't wearing it. I would say it would depend on your daughter and if it really affects her to be left out. Is is worth fighting over or is it something you can over look. If it's something you can over look, show her how to wear it, less is more. It's now the end of my daughters freshman year and she only wears it when she feels like it. I haven't made a big deal about it. I have to worry about other parents buying liquor, yep it's pretty popular up here. But not popular with me and I will turn in any parent who buys it and my daughter is around. I say go with your gut feeling and you won't go wrong. Good luck.

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