What's your most difficult challenge when dealing with your "adult" children?
I have four grown children 3 sons and 1 daughter ages 35, 33, 31, & 27, They have one issue with me that's threatening any future harmony in our family; I adopted my 9 yr old autistic granddaughter that hubby and I have been raising since she was 3 mos old. They all refuse to accept or acknowledge the adoption except for the bio father, who does so begrudgingly, while the bio Mom is more of a daughter to me than my oldest daughter. I'm hurt by this, and yes angry too! I've already raised them, they have their own lives and rarely call on me except when they need me. I've tried on myspace, twitter, e-mails, and yet they act as though I've done a terrible thing, heck they even act embarrassed that they have a Mom "gasp" who knows how to use a computer and can catch them online every now and again. My daughter refuses to invite our girl or me to birthday parties etc. I suppose I could understand their attitudes if we were wealthy and they stood to lose some portion of a great inheritance or the like. So I am left wondering if there is anyway to get them off their high horses, and bring them back to reality.
Anyone else dealing with this kind of Me Me Me generation?
Anyone else dealing with this kind of Me Me Me generation?
Tags: adoption, adult children, family, grandparent adoptions, relationships
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Karla Charette on -
Well durn, I guess there's no Moms with adult children and raising another around here....sigh Course they coulda been taken away to the funny farm by now, I've already had two close calls, but managed to avoid the guys in the white suits...at least for now.
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Permalink Reply by Francesca Fine Jewelry on -
My two oldest children are not as old as yours, but they're both adults. My children are a week shy of 22, two weeks shy of 20, and my youngest is 15. I am sorry that your children are treating you this way. It must be breaking your heart. Have you asked them why they are treating you like this? If so, what is their answer?
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Permalink Reply by Karla Charette on
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I've asked and asked, so has their 76 yr old grandma, but the best answer we've had yet is from the oldest, who says...well I have feelings about all this adoption stuff, so I just don't say anything. ???? Least that's what he told my mom. They just don't answer my calls or emails. I guess they think if they just ignore it, it'll go away and my little girl will just vanish. Yes it's breaking my heart that they won't even acknowledge the adoption, or share in our joy. They could be such a help to her as she grows older, but now I worry for her future... Thanks for your comment, feels good to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this is not right.
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Permalink Reply by Francesca Fine Jewelry on
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Hmmmmm This is a tough one to figure out, especially when the kids aren't saying much. What if you take your daughter over to the oldest's house? Just drop by without calling. Bring him a cake or something. Maybe if the kids get to know her, they will fall in love with her. Have they spent any time at all with her yet?
Karla Charette said:I've asked and asked, so has their 76 yr old grandma, but the best answer we've had yet is from the oldest, who says...well I have feelings about all this adoption stuff, so I just don't say anything. ???? Least that's what he told my mom. They just don't answer my calls or emails. I guess they think if they just ignore it, it'll go away and my little girl will just vanish. Yes it's breaking my heart that they won't even acknowledge the adoption, or share in our joy. They could be such a help to her as she grows older, but now I worry for her future... Thanks for your comment, feels good to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this is not right.
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Permalink Reply by Karla Charette on
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Would be a good idea, course I know that my oldest daughter is the only one that is close enough, but she knows Tabi, but her jealousy blinds her to anything good about us having her... two of my sons live too far away, one in Japan, one in Washington, the other lives close, but he's the bio father. The resentment rolls around the fact that they don't think we should have raised her in the first place, that we should not have adopted her. Heard everything, from "she's not your responsibility", "she's not blood", "you love her more than me" "you love her more than my kids", "your forcing this on Dad"....the list goes on and on. What it boils down to, is that they want me at their beck and call, even though they don't want me to have any say in their lives. Tabi threatens them in some way that I don't really understand. Maybe someday I will "get it", but right now they're just comeing across to me as selfcentered brats.
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