When Do You Let Your Child Dress Themselves?
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Hi Twittermoms, my seven year old son told me this morning, "He was bored of me picking out his outfits". He does have pretty good fashion sense but sometimes wants to wear things that are inappropriate for school, like flip flops in November! Just curious how you all handle this. I don't want to squelch his independence and individuality.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Whirl_wind on -
I started letting my girls dress themselves when they were around three. There have been very few occasions when I have sent them to change. Sure their outfits don't always match, but I love seeing their combinations and knowing that they are dressing how they like, not how their friends like. Plus, they wear uniforms starting in first grade, so once they hit that point, they won't have a choice (they are 4,5 and 6, BTW). As for flip flop in November, once it's too cool for flip flop, they go in a box until spring, that way, I don't have to have that battle. They also know which items are appropriate for the situation (i.e. I've never had them put on a party dress to go outside and play in!).
My girls school as a no flip flop rule, so that has never been an issue. I would say, let him dress himself, just make sure he know what is/isn't appropriate for his school and let him go from there.
P.S. I was wearing flip flops yesterday :P
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Permalink Reply by Kipling on -
Oooh, I really like the idea of putting the flip flops in boxes, thanks Whirl wind! I like seeing his combinations too and am so happy that he wants to dress himself! And that is a great point about him wanting to dress the way he wants to and not the way his friend's want him to. Thanks so much for sharing :).
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Permalink Reply by minnemom on -
I let my kids pick out their clothes and dress themselves as soon as they're willing and able. My 2yo now does it (with help from her 4yo sister). Once in a while they'll ask "short sleeves or long?" or "pants or shorts?" but other than that they're on their own.
Some of my kids have better "fashion" sense than others, but I allow them to wear whatever they want (as long as it's appropriate for weather) unless it's a special occasion. Who am I to decide what fashion is? I was taught that you don't wear stripes with patterns, but now I look at the newscasters and see that the "rules" have changed. I want my kids to be independent and find their own sense of style, rather than conforming to society's rules.
So, yes, sometimes they look pretty outrageous, but I like to believe they're becoming independent thinkers by having control over what they wear.
Linda
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Permalink Reply by Kipling on
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Right on Linda! Thanks for your comment!
minnemom said:I let my kids pick out their clothes and dress themselves as soon as they're willing and able. My 2yo now does it (with help from her 4yo sister). Once in a while they'll ask "short sleeves or long?" or "pants or shorts?" but other than that they're on their own.
Some of my kids have better "fashion" sense than others, but I allow them to wear whatever they want (as long as it's appropriate for weather) unless it's a special occasion. Who am I to decide what fashion is? I was taught that you don't wear stripes with patterns, but now I look at the newscasters and see that the "rules" have changed. I want my kids to be independent and find their own sense of style, rather than conforming to society's rules.
So, yes, sometimes they look pretty outrageous, but I like to believe they're becoming independent thinkers by having control over what they wear.
Linda
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Permalink Reply by Whirl_wind on
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Yup.
And don't worry if they go through phases. I know when all my girls were three, they went through what I called the color sprite phase - where every outfit was one color (even if it wasn't the same shade). Like minnemom, I don't usually say anything unless we are going somewhere. I just p[ut away things that are out of season. It saves space!
Sometimes it's layered shirts, other times they layer skirts over pants.
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Permalink Reply by Kipling on
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LOL Whirl wind! I love the color sprite phase! My seven year old is going through the cool t-shirt phase right now!
Whirl_wind said:Yup.
And don't worry if they go through phases. I know when all my girls were three, they went through what I called the color sprite phase - where every outfit was one color (even if it wasn't the same shade). Like minnemom, I don't usually say anything unless we are going somewhere. I just p[ut away things that are out of season. It saves space!
Sometimes it's layered shirts, other times they layer skirts over pants.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa Survillas on -
MIne have been doing it since 1st grade...but they still ask, "long or short sleeves and pants or shorts?" and since wie live in Southern CA, sometimes they are mad when it gets warmer than expected and they get hot of vice versa. But they love to dress themselves and do their own hair! (mine are 9 1/2 and 8)
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Permalink Reply by MomFaves on -
I was just talking about this with a girlfriend today! My oldest son is 4 and has been dressing himself off and on for about a year! I started early talking to him about the decisions I was making and he started to want to make decisions on his own. He asks me if it is cold outside so that he can better pick what to wear. Sometimes he goes to school looking a little interesting, but if it is a really terrible choice, I usually will try and bring up other options to see if he will change his mind :) He still doesn't pick out his own outfits every morning, but I like that he has an outlet for his independence. My 19 month old is starting to show some interest in what he wears every now and then??? What is that all about!! I think he would wear his cowboy boots everyday if I didn't hide them!!! :)
I used to nanny for a family that had a drawer at home for when her daughter came home from school that she could pick out anything that she wanted to wear while she was home, which meant that the mom got to pick what she wore to school. Her little girl seemed fine with it an looked forward to putting on her more casual clothes that she could pick out.
Rebecca
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Permalink Reply by Angela on -
We let our son choose his own clothing around 3. He has a great "fashion sense" and would always seem to coordinate outfits easily! He started actually dressing himself at 4. He's 6 now and currently attends a Montessori school. His teachers said that they actually like to see what each child chooses to wear to school each day, matching or not.
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Permalink Reply by Kipling on
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I love the Montessori school method! That's great!
Angela said:We let our son choose his own clothing around 3. He has a great "fashion sense" and would always seem to coordinate outfits easily! He started actually dressing himself at 4. He's 6 now and currently attends a Montessori school. His teachers said that they actually like to see what each child chooses to wear to school each day, matching or not.
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Permalink Reply by Kipling on
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Rebecca, I love your picture! That is too funny about the cowboy boots! My four year old is really into his Luke Skywalker costume, he always wants to wear that out!
MomFaves said:I was just talking about this with a girlfriend today! My oldest son is 4 and has been dressing himself off and on for about a year! I started early talking to him about the decisions I was making and he started to want to make decisions on his own. He asks me if it is cold outside so that he can better pick what to wear. Sometimes he goes to school looking a little interesting, but if it is a really terrible choice, I usually will try and bring up other options to see if he will change his mind :) He still doesn't pick out his own outfits every morning, but I like that he has an outlet for his independence. My 19 month old is starting to show some interest in what he wears every now and then??? What is that all about!! I think he would wear his cowboy boots everyday if I didn't hide them!!! :)
I used to nanny for a family that had a drawer at home for when her daughter came home from school that she could pick out anything that she wanted to wear while she was home, which meant that the mom got to pick what she wore to school. Her little girl seemed fine with it an looked forward to putting on her more casual clothes that she could pick out.
Rebecca
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Permalink Reply by Kipling on
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That's great Lisa! Especially that they want to do their own hair!!!
Lisa Survillas said:MIne have been doing it since 1st grade...but they still ask, "long or short sleeves and pants or shorts?" and since wie live in Southern CA, sometimes they are mad when it gets warmer than expected and they get hot of vice versa. But they love to dress themselves and do their own hair! (mine are 9 1/2 and 8)
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