Why Can't Men Take Constructive Criticism From The Woman They Love?

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Permalink Reply by Evangelia Biddy on May 25, 2009 at 4:11pm

Very interesting and unfortunately a topic filled with conflict! Men can take criticism, but most can't take it from the woman that they love. Men take criticism all the time in the world of work and sports. Most times it comes from other men. I have just completed an article on how mothers can improve their relationships with their sons by using the language of sports and speaking with their boys as their coaches do. As women we have to manage how we present constructive criticism to our men and to our son's. Timely is everything too. I know just another thing for us to do! A woman's work is never done as they say. Check out my article in the Sports in the Lives of Boys issue of Junior, the magazine about bringing up successful boys. www.juniorthemagazine.com.

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Permalink Reply by Debbie Capps on May 26, 2009 at 7:08am

LOL...I believe the trick to that is to always tell them they are, what you want them to be. and then always let them think it was their idea..

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Permalink Reply by Nanette on May 26, 2009 at 12:24pm

I've tried this and yes it works. So funny that you should mention this.

Debbie Capps said:

LOL...I believe the trick to that is to always tell them they are, what you want them to be. and then always let them think it was their idea..

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Permalink Reply by Nanette on May 26, 2009 at 12:28pm

Evangelia, I believe that you are right. Men cannot take criticism from the women that love them. I wonder does it seem (to them) that we are putting them down and making them feel less of a man? I'm curious......I will be sure to read the suggested article. Thanks

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Permalink Reply by Nanette on May 29, 2009 at 9:56am

I changed the discussion title. Thanks Evangelia Biddy.

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Permalink Reply by Carla Hannibal on May 30, 2009 at 3:57pm

I think it has a lot to do with the relationship a man has with his mother. The more domineering the mother the less chance you will get a word in edgewise. I believe we have to do it in such a manner as to almost dumb down. Slowly and with such syrup you might want to throw up seriously. Men seem to want to be handled with kid gloves. Everything is an attack on their manhood. So I proceed with the utmost caution, choose my words carefully and the timing must be perfect.

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Permalink Reply by Nycole Alyce Jones on May 31, 2009 at 1:09pm

I just gott married over a year ago and I STILL don't understand why men don't take criticism good. I think it is a ego thing with them. I found my self having to say things in a way he can feel he is right lol

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Permalink Reply by Dee Yates (Herbsandmore) on June 1, 2009 at 12:25pm

Men can not take constructive criticism from the one they love. They feel that you of all people should worship and adore them and should never criticise them, but they also know that by listening to the one that truly loves them that it will help them in the long run. Men might get a little upset, but they will think about it and 9 times out of 10, they will come around and try your suggestion, and when it looks, works and feels better they will be ready to take the credit for the change. A lady told me one time that when she pointed something out to her husband, he took the constructive criticism wrong and would get mad everytime! She worked night shift and when she came in in the morning, he would tell her that he had been thinking about what she said and after sleeping on it, he agreed with what she had told him. But he always got mad and then took a few hours to think about what was said. Good criticism, they don't want it, but they know it is coming, they just have to have time to get over their ego problem and think about it.
So be gentle, loving and maybe wait to the right time to give them criticism, they might need to sleep on it, play golf and think about it.
Dee(herbsandmore)

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Permalink Reply by Beeba on June 2, 2009 at 4:07pm

This is a loaded question. I don't think accepting constructive criticism is necessarily a topic just pertaining to men. Women too have a hard time taking constructive criticism. The key is..... it depends on how the criticism is given. Its your tone, your demeanor and your real intent. Usually if you come correctly to someone whether male or female, your criticism will be more readily accepted.

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Permalink Reply by Sheila Yarlett on June 4, 2009 at 2:31am

Debbie Capps said:

LOL...I believe the trick to that is to always tell them they are, what you want them to be. and then always let them think it was their idea..

I really love this one. That is exactly what I am always trying to do but unfortunately it does not work always. I guess I have to improve this.
Besides this I am of the opinion that it is very difficult for men to accept constructive criticism from women they love. I really have no idea why this is the case because men are able to take criticism from everyone except from the women they love.

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