Adoption Moms

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Comment by itsaboutusmoms on March 16, 2009 at 9:30am

Doris our daughter is now 23, a cross-racial adoption. Our daughter's issues didn't start surfacing either until she got into her teens. We've been doing a lot of reading; she's been in some great counselling and so we've learned much about the sources of her pain and subsequent behaviour. I'm thinking that while the orphanage experience brings its own brand of influence, just as the cross-cultural adoption does, there are likely common roots in the sense of birth abandonment. It becomes a sense of abandonment exacerbated by the special circumstances of the adoption. But I'll bet you have much to offer in terms of understanding the impact of institutionalization and I'd love to hear more.

Comment by Doris Bowman, Cert. Parent Coach on March 15, 2009 at 8:59pm

Maritsa was 2 months old when I adopted her, and she is now 18. She has had pretty severe learning disabilities and we've had to really be intense about getting her the educational services and programs that she needed. She's also had some delayed emotional issues that didn't come up until her teenage years, and I am finding this to be common to many families with children who were in orphanages, regardless of their ages at time of adoption. If I had about 3 extra lives I think I'd really like to do a study looking at the variety of issues that arise for these children and then map that by how old they were when the adoption took place, because I think the results would surprise some folks... and would tell us a lot about the impact of institutionalization...

Comment by Judy on March 15, 2009 at 6:05pm

What to do when the balance of the family changes? http://theinternationalmom.wordpress.com/

Comment by itsaboutusmoms on March 15, 2009 at 9:27am

Welcome Doris. I'm looking forward to your posts as well. How old was your daughter when you adopted her? What was the story?

Comment by Doris Bowman, Cert. Parent Coach on March 14, 2009 at 8:43pm

It's wonderful to find this group! I'm a bio mom of 2 boys, and adopted my youngest, a beautiful Gypsy girl, from Romania. I've also done parent coaching with numerous parents of children adopted from Russia, and am passionate about the issues that parents of children who've come from orphanages face. I'm looking forward to connecting with other parents and sharing our experiences...

Comment by itsaboutusmoms on March 10, 2009 at 2:10pm

Angie, just saw your comment. This is indeed such an exciting time for you. Wahoo!

Comment by itsaboutusmoms on March 10, 2009 at 2:09pm

The video "Adopted" is expensive but worth it if only for the dialogue it inspires. I think it's a difficult subject for many to discuss though and when you're a new adoptive parent, you just want to bask in the glow of the present experience.

Comment by Judy on March 10, 2009 at 1:57pm

I saw the trailer for the movie some time back, before it was available. It brings up many issues that adoptive parents and children face and need to resolve. Hopefully AP's have begun a dialogue with their children at an early age - similar to talking about sex, a little at a time.

Comment by Angie on March 10, 2009 at 1:12pm

I joined this group awhile back, but have not really had the time to visit much. So, since our adoption is final this week, I thought I'd take the time to come and visit. We are SO excited that we're almost done. Now we can have them start looking for a girl for us, after the end of May!

Comment by itsaboutusmoms on March 10, 2009 at 12:03pm

Hi Judy. Welcome to Adoption Moms. You're writing about a topic near and dear to my heart...we should have much to share and I look forward to visiting your blog.

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