Dealing with the loss of a child
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My 19 yr. old son was killed in an auto accident on October 12, 2008. He was a sophomore in college. He was in the car with 3 friends. His friend fell asleep while driving. They all walked away and my boy was dead at the scene. As the first anniversary of his death approaches my family (husband, 16 yr. old son, and 10 yr. old twin daughters) struggle to know how to mark this day other than to survive it. How have others dealt with the loss of a child?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Linda Burke-Galloway on -
Hi Jacqueline,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'd like to share a story about my best friend's loss. Her beautiful 26 y.o. son was killed during a hit-and-run accident around Father's Day three years ago. He had just left a public viewing of a popular boxing match and was run over as he stepped off the curb. They never found his assailant.
My friend choses to celebrate her son's life and all of his short-lived accomplishments.Perhaps a memorial would be appropriate where friends and family gather to share your son's memories. Plant a tree or a plant in his memory then nuture it. Donate to his favorite charity. And consult a grieving counselor if things become too overwhelming.
May your son rest in eternal peace.
Linda
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Permalink Reply by Jacqueline Moore on -
Linda,
Thank you for your reply. The things you've suggested are things we've done to celebrate his life. The day he died is so different. Not a day to celebrate or for me even any desire to commemorate. But the day will come and it will mark the day our lives changed forever. Even if we tried we can't pretend like it doesn't exist. I know I'll light a candle and hope to survive the day.
I recently started a blog to release my feelings and keep me sane. http://alwaysmomof4.wordpress.com/
One thing I know is that relationships are eternal and I'll always be the mother of four.
Best,
Jackie
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Permalink Reply by Toni Parker on -
Jacqueline, I am sorry and that is all that I can offer you. I thought that I was going to lose my new born baby to liver cancer two years ago and I have to say that I have NEVER felt a greater pain. Although things did improve with my baby, I went through a living hell for two weeks while they watched a what they thought was a tumor and told me that there was nothing that they could do about it. My prayers are with you and hearing your story takes me back to that day and pain that I felt two years ago. May God continue to bless you and yoru family as you all take it one day at a time.
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Permalink Reply by Bonnie Ross on -
Hello Jacqueline my name is Bonnie. I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I have never lost a child but I do have a sister who lost her daughter at the age of four. My niece was killed by a gun going off that no one even knew was there. You can only take one day at a time and pray for strength and understanding. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
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Permalink Reply by itsangel on -
Hi Jacaueline
I'm am so sorry for your loss. My daughter died at 11, complications following heart surgery. I put a teddy bear on her grave because she loved bears. I do something for an 11 year old who didn't have as much as she did. I sometimes ,when having a very hard day write a letter to her.
Go to this site and add his name: http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/
This is a blog I set up in my daughters honor: http://angel-sharonsheart.blogspot.com/
Something like this helps, mine is private but you can share yours.
These are just some things, I hope they help. Bless you, You take an hour at a time the 2 and so on until you are getting through. It gets easier but its a fact you live with.
If you have not find a compassionate friends chapter in your area.
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Permalink Reply by Jacqueline Moore on
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Thank you for your kind words and your suggestion. I would be honored to add my son's name on your site. I just went to your site and typed his name into the search engine. What a beautiful idea and loving tribute. I will share your website with several friends who sadly have recently lost a child.
Writing has brought me much comfort and has been wonderful therapy. I would be honored if you would take a look at my blog: http://alwaysmomof4.wordpress.com/
itsangel said:Hi Jacaueline
I'm am so sorry for your loss. My daughter died at 11, complications following heart surgery. I put a teddy bear on her grave because she loved bears. I do something for an 11 year old who didn't have as much as she did. I sometimes ,when having a very hard day write a letter to her. Go to this site and add his name: http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/
This is a blog I set up in my daughters honor: http://angel-sharonsheart.blogspot.com/
Something like this helps, mine is private but you can share yours.
These are just some things, I hope they help. Bless you, You take an hour at a time the 2 and so on until you are getting through. It gets easier but its a fact you live with.
If you have not find a compassionate friends chapter in your area.
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Permalink Reply by itsangel on
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Hi jacqueline, It's not my sight, but it is love isn't it? Carley is in Austrilia, she lives close to the beach or on the beach and has done this for a couple of years. She lives close to the top of the world and so, she says, closer to God. I did check out your blog. It is great, you are doing all the right things. Bless you on the remember day, may you be strong.
Jacqueline Moore said:Thank you for your kind words and your suggestion. I would be honored to add my son's name on your site. I just went to your site and typed his name into the search engine. What a beautiful idea and loving tribute. I will share your website with several friends who sadly have recently lost a child.
Writing has brought me much comfort and has been wonderful therapy. I would be honored if you would take a look at my blog: http://alwaysmomof4.wordpress.com/
itsangel said:Hi Jacaueline
I'm am so sorry for your loss. My daughter died at 11, complications following heart surgery. I put a teddy bear on her grave because she loved bears. I do something for an 11 year old who didn't have as much as she did. I sometimes ,when having a very hard day write a letter to her. Go to this site and add his name: http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/
This is a blog I set up in my daughters honor: http://angel-sharonsheart.blogspot.com/
Something like this helps, mine is private but you can share yours.
These are just some things, I hope they help. Bless you, You take an hour at a time the 2 and so on until you are getting through. It gets easier but its a fact you live with.
If you have not find a compassionate friends chapter in your area.
