What do you say to your kids when a loved one dies???
- Rating: No Rating
My kids are little...we have discussed religion as being of all types of things that some people believe in.
But the just 'dead' and gone thing is so harsh..we have used heaven in our discussions..just as a special place that nana and poppa are..it saves their little hearts.
I try to explain about different beliefs too..but they are young.
But the just 'dead' and gone thing is so harsh..we have used heaven in our discussions..just as a special place that nana and poppa are..it saves their little hearts.
I try to explain about different beliefs too..but they are young.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Just KimU on -
I like this thought...
We have a book called "All I see is Part of me." When my mother in law died, we read that to help the kiddos. It helped them feel better to know that Granny was still with us, all around us, in everything we see.
My thoughts are with you. :)
Carolyn Hastings said:I don't know if this will help, but I heard George Carlin on the radio once, asked about death and saying something like "We know, scientifically, that everything we are was born in a star. All the substances that make up our world, our bodies, everything. And someday we'll be back in as part of a star again. And I just don't see that as something to be afraid of."
As Carl Sagan would say, "We are all made of star-stuff."
What George Carlin said is closer to my own feelings - I don't necessarily believe that you die and that's it, because I don't see any proof of that. We don't really know where consciousness comes from. So we don't know what happens to it after we die, either.
-
Permalink Reply by Amanda on -
I just never introduced the idea of heaven to them. I felt like I was cheating. What I've always said is that that person died, and now they live in your heart with your memories of them. It sucks not to use heaven as a cop out but I had to bite the bullet.
I totally understand when others don't. It's SO hard and you DO want to cushion their little hearts.
-
Permalink Reply by Kat on -
This is probably the hardest subject for small children to understand, and I would really suggest that you pick up the book Parenting Beyond Belief, it has an entire chapter on death that really helps parents get through the death of a loved one and explain it to their children.
I myself have never used "heaven" as a way to explain death, because children want to know where heaven is, how can they get there to see the loved one, why they went to heaven, do all things go to heaven etc etc.
Kids are full of questions once you use heaven as part of the explanation.
I didn't want to have to go there.
I explained it as the circle of life, that all things begin and end, but the memories and love stay with us.
-
Permalink Reply by JennK on -
My father died when my twins were 2 years old, and they were very close to him. We explained that he remained in their hearts and memories. Whenever they were sad about him no longer being here, they could read a book he'd read to them or think about something they did together, and it would be a reminder of how much they still love him. Rather than avoiding talking about him, we brought him up quite a bit, talking about how much Grandpa would have enjoyed seeing a beautiful flower or what funny thing he'd say about some odd event. Yes, this was sometimes bittersweet, but we also told the kids that it's okay to feel sad sometimes, and you shouldn't run away from emotions just because they weren't always happy.
Your mileage may vary, but that helped my kids quite a bit. It also made thinking of him a "safe" thing for them to do, so even now that 10+ years have passed, they still have memories of him.
Announce yourself!
Badge
© 2009 Created by Megan Calhoun
