Domestic Violence Group

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Comment by Shawnee Rivers on January 14, 2009 at 1:48pm

DiAnna, your situation isn't uncommon, unfortunately. Keep strong and if you ever want to talk...

Comment by Dark_Priestess on January 1, 2009 at 4:38pm

I'm glad I found this group today. My abuser is in town for his yearly *snort* visitation with the kids. He's active duty military, and we now live two states away from where he's currently stationed. I was happier when he was in Hawaii, but San Diego is far enough away for the moment. I still have anxiety attacks when he comes up for orders, because he tells me that he wants to get stationed closer to where we are so that he can see his kids. I just have to remind myself that his visitations are supervised, until the memory of him convincing the judge to go against the court order that said that the supervisor had to be mutually agreeable OR ELSE he had to pay for someone to supervise. He got a judge to FORCE ME to allow HIS PARENTS to supervise two visits. Those were the longest two visits I've ever lived through. And we suspect his new wife (not so new, I guess, their baby is almost a year and a half old, and they were married for about 6 months or so before he was conceived) molested my son. His therapist, a licensed Ph.D MENTAL HEALTH PSYCHOLOGIST, told me that my son had said enough to concern him about it, but not enough for him to make a report, and when I told my ex husband, he asked HER about it, and then he TOOK HER WORD OVER THE DOCTOR'S!!!! And HE STILL MARRIED HER! And he can't understand why his son hates him. And why his son told him to "Go away and leave me the fuck alone, I never want to talk to you again" when he was six years old (that's a direct quote, the ONLY time in my son's life I've never punished him for using that kind of language) and then told his father that he felt that he'd chosen 'that woman' over him.

And he's said that while he's up here, he wants to re-evaluate the child support. Last time we did that, my child support went from $1645 to $830, and this time, he's had TWO pay raises, but they've had a child together. AND, my VA pension (I'm a disabled vet), because when I reported our divorce, they didn't stop paying me for that dependent, I've been being paid for a husband and two children for four years that I didn't have a husband, has been now cut in half, so his income has gone UP, and mine has gone DOWN substantially. I'm betting where he's figuring that where last time they lowered my child support, they'll do it again because he's had a child (when we were running numbers the other day, I didn't know my income had gone DOWN), it's gonna go UP. ROFL But, I'm terrified of what he may do when he finds that out. His temper terrifies me. We've been divorced for five years, and he still tries to control and intimidate me constantly.

Comment by Shawnee Rivers on December 30, 2008 at 10:16am

I figure it will be rather quiet here... but at least we know where to find one another ;)

Comment by Ruthie Appleby on December 5, 2008 at 2:29am

I realize many of you may never write on the boards...If you go to the library there is a good book out called "Gettting free"

Also I will be praying for you.
Remember God can make a way where there is no way...
he led the children of Israel through the red sea.
Ruthie :)

Comment by A Slip Of A Girl on November 26, 2008 at 12:38pm

I know for a lot of us the holidays can be heartbreaking or extra emotional due to visitation (either sending kids off to visit abusers or finally getting to see our kids who live with their abusers) & along with this there are the safety issues of having to deal with controlling, abusive exs so I just wanted to say I wish you all a safe and happy holiday!

Comment by Meredith on November 22, 2008 at 11:05am

Hi, I was drawn to this group. I know many women who suffer from abuse- different types- but abuse non the less. I am in a wonderful marriage and bless with twin sons, buut my life as not always been this way. I am hear for anyone who needs a friend, hit me up by e-mail or twitter, I have been there, no need for details or stories, no any way, but if you re in an abusive relationship or coming out of one, I am a good listener, two firm shoulders and can understand. May good bless all women and children living in these types of relationships!

Comment by A Slip Of A Girl on October 30, 2008 at 11:27am

Thanks for starting this group! You know me, DPopTart, so you know I'm not always the most active of social networking folks, but as a survivor I'm extremely supportive of this group and will do what I can to help with it.

I'd also like to thank all the brave women who join -- survivors and those willing to support us and the issue itself.

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