Domestic Violence Group

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For survivors of domestic violence & those interested in learning the truth. Domestic violence has such an impact on families... including, in 90% of the cases which end up in family court for divorce, a loss of children for mothers.

Members: 39
Latest Activity: Nov 18

I Know This Is An Uncomfortable Topic To Discuss...

But this is a safe place to share your stories.

Sharing stories about the violence helps you & others: Using your voice on this topic is important for survivors -- and it helps others understand the real issues involved.

Sharing stories & tips about how to move on, will help others live happy & healthy lives!

Sharing news stories and information on policy, events, fund raisers etc. helps build awareness -- and that means we can save, maybe even spare families from the horrors of domestic violence!

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Comment by Joanna Trusdle on November 10, 2009 at 6:50am: DPopTart - I did wonder.... glad you cleared that up : )

Comment by DPopTart on November 9, 2009 at 1:04pm: Oh, and by "show your daughter," I meant show her the group ;)

Comment by DPopTart on November 9, 2009 at 1:02pm: What Joanna says is very true -- and I remind anyone not safe and not already doing so to clear their browser history so that the abuser cannot see where they have been reading/looking for help!

Comment by Joanna Trusdle on November 9, 2009 at 12:58pm: Preparing for helping your daughter is a good idea. I wouldn't, however, show her picture on here - or give her name. This is a very public forum. It would not be safe for her.

Comment by DPopTart on November 9, 2009 at 12:43pm: Joyce, when children are involved it is that much more difficult. Along with threatening harm to the children, the abuser will threaten to take the children -- legally. And she knows his power; she sees it every day when people do not believe her, but he is god.

I'm working on a book about this (slowly, unfortunately), and I'd suggest that you help by documenting whatever abuse you can and getting legal help. A good lawyer with a good reputation can help you prepare for that day when she is ready. Since you've a relationship with your local DV org, ask them for referrals.

Your planning and preparing now will help her a lot. She won't have to feel alone, she won't be re-inventing the wheel, she will know what she can do, what she ought to do, and that will make her feel far less powerless.

And please do come back -- to talk, share, ask -- and maybe show your daughter?

Comment by Joanna Trusdle on November 9, 2009 at 12:15pm: The denial is textbook, Joyce. She needs help, so go back to the shelter you worked for, and see what they can do. I feel for you. I have a daughter and I can't even imagine going through something like this with her. Take care and let me know what happens.

Comment by Joyce Bruce on November 9, 2009 at 12:07pm: Joanna, I have not considered it. My daughter is still in denial. She thinks he will somehow change. I worked for our local domestic violence sometimes back. 2006. That's what has gotten me concerned. I've seen, first hand, the manipulation of it. It is such a helpless feeling, when your in "it." It's a whole different ball game. Do I sit back? Do I take action? Do I let her figure it out? Any advice

Comment by Joanna Trusdle on November 9, 2009 at 6:23am: Joyce - have you tried going to a domestic violence shelter and asking them for advice? That might be my first step. They would have access to community agencies that specialize in this area. Your daughter is going to need someone who is trained to help domestic violence victims. Domestic violence victims are often very hard to convince that they need to leave the relationship, because the partner is often so loving after the abuse, and says he will change. That's just one reason women keep going back, so she needs a professional to truly help her. Let us know how it goes.

Comment by Joyce Bruce on November 6, 2009 at 8:22pm: I came here for answers. My 25 year old daughter is in an abusive relationship, 7 years. She is not married to the abuser, but has a 2 year old son with him. She has left before, only to go back. I'm so worried and desperate for support. Thanks for having me.

Comment by tanya v on July 29, 2009 at 7:13pm: Hi sisters,
I too, have tones of things to share with you all, but, for now let please start by saying that "If I, can so, can you"..
It took me about 10 years to finally break free, but I did it!!! And I am much better, I am still dealing with the after math, but I am in counseling
and my aggressor still tries to control me, now he holding my support, and I don't work and I have 2 kids that depend 100 % on me.So, here is a little bit of me. Also, I am in desperate need, trying to get some help for an attorney that can help me with case. It got complicated because the guy I hired-so called attorney-didn't filed for custody and a restraining order and ALL of the doc, at once as I ask him to, and now I have a court day, but since the doc, have not been filed properly, I now have a complicated situation. I am very limited now, with no support from my still husband and more in debt about 3000.00 and with a case that got complicated by the negligence of an unethical attorney. What do I do? Any attorney that can help how do I get out of this situation? I still have not being in court and I owed more than I should..
Help please. God would bless you for sure....