Music Lessons...

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Permalink Reply by Heather Pihl on October 24, 2008 at 5:55am

I think it really depends on the instructor and the instrument. Music for Young Children (Google their website) is a fantastic curriculum with teachers all around the country that is super fun and gets kids excited about music and practicing. They only teach piano, but along with that, the basics of music theory. It provides a great jumping off point for other instruments. I would check to see if there's a teacher near you. My son took piano for 3 years, starting at age 4 because his teacher and that class were so fun!

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Permalink Reply by Robin on October 24, 2008 at 6:28am

We started with one child on piano and the other on the drums. Both were under 10 years old and lessons lasted about 2 years. Practice was a nightmare after the first year. We finally let them quit. My now 12 year old daughter (who took piano) has now taken up the electric guitar. She seems to really enjoying playing and I have never had to remind her to practice. The lessons have only been going on for 2 months. Right now she is enthused, so I guess time will tell. Could be an age thing...

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Permalink Reply by Cindy Schultz on October 24, 2008 at 12:16pm

I am a music teacher. I've been teaching piano, clarinet, flute, recorder, voice and musical theatre for over 17 years. Practicing is almost always an issue at some point in a child's music education. You didn't mention how old your son is and that makes a difference.

I require parents and students sign a contract each semester. This contract holds the parent accountable for timely payment, providing an acceptable instrument and creating a consistent practice schedule. The contract holds the child responsible for bringing all books to class and for practicing regularly. When/if a student has a struggle with practicing I remind the student of the contract and the promise they made. If that doesn't help the next time I discuss it with the parent and we form a plan of accountability. The time limit of the contract also gives myself and the parent a timeframe in which to work through the problem. They don't just up and quit and I don't just kick them out of the student. If that doesn't work then, I survive the semester and explain to them at the end of the semester that I am not helping hem be a good steward of their money because their child isn't progressing due to lack of practice and I let them go.

Over the years I have used several curricula. I like to meet with the child and the parent before starting lessons so that I can get to know them, explain my expectations of each of them and what they should expect of me. Then based on what I learned in that meeting, I order whatever curriculum I feel will best fit that child.
As a teacher I have found that ages 3-6 the parents are the ones responsible to make practicing happen. My parents must commit to spending 15 minutes, 5 days a week practicing the assigned lesson with their child. Ages 7-10 I explain to the parent and child they are both responsible for practicing. Mom should help by reminding the child to practice (I suggest my homeschooled students put it on their school assignment sheet and treat it like they would any other subject). I tell the child they are old enough to obey their parent and practice when told. Ages 11+ I leave the practicing up to the child. I explain that they are old enough to be responsible for remembering to practice each day as assigned. It is not mom's responsibility to remind them every day. Parents know their children better than I do, but some parents have no real concept of accountability in their own life.

I do suggest that parents teach accountability and maybe offer a reward for practicing-a sticker on the calendar for each day practiced without complaining, a weekly/monthly reward for practicing. Parents have to use methods that compliment what they are using in other areas.

I often struggle with my youngest son, now age 13. He has more musical talent than anyone in the family and if given the option he would choose not to use any of it. To me, this is a spiritual issue more than anything else. We continually teach and model the importance of using our God-given gifts to glorify Him.

I know this is long but I hope it helps. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk more.

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Permalink Reply by journey2learn on October 24, 2008 at 8:01pm

Thanks for the responses. My son is turning 10 tomorrow. Responses have given me a lot to think about it...maybe it is an age thing.

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Permalink Reply by Deborah Allinder Lee on November 14, 2008 at 11:13am

My husband and I are music teachers and we've seen this a lot. One of the things we have noticed with parents is they classify their kids by their musical ability rather than their interest. The real thing that determines how far a kid goes with music is desire.

Don't get me wrong, the discipline of music study and practice is very important. I also believe all kids should have an early foundation in general music, singing, and piano. Those things are developmentally very important even if they move on to other things and never master an instrument.

There's going to be waxing and waning of interests. My husband and I both noticed that junior high is a pretty common time to see kids start to pull back. In my husband's case, his mom had to quit teaching him herself and send him to another person to teach.

It's really going to be a personal call based on your child and his goals. Maybe he doesn't know what he wants or maybe he can't see the big picture of going from practicing to playing freely.

The most difficult students for me to teach have been the ones who can pick out melodies on the piano by ear. They obviously have natural ability, but they have a hard time understanding how learning all of this other stuff about music leads to something bigger and better. They only see the present and just want to play songs.

My close friend from college was always praised for his amazing singing voice--by pretty much everybody. While he was in college he was thinking about transferring to a Bible college to go on the mission field. He was advised by many that he would be wasting the talent God gave him if he didn't pursue music.

He finished his degree and worked a little in the music field. Then he went to seminary and is now a pastor. Despite the fact that God gave him great musical talent, he had a different work for him to do.

Not long after we graduated, he said he only majored in music because it was the easiest thing to do. I really wanted to hit him, but I refrained. It was harder for me and I really had to work to develop my skills.I really wanted it. He did it more because it was expected of him because he had talent.

In short, find out what your son really wants for his musical life. Cultivate a love for music by surrounding him with it in and outside the home and having open-ended dialog about the music he loves.

If he says he really wants to keep learning his instrument help him develop his vision and goals for what he wants to accomplish. Then set out what's required to reach those goals and ways he will need to reach beyond his comfort zone.

Even if his goal is to play by himself in his bedroom, that's fine. Setting those smaller goals will lead to success in learning which usually leads to a greater desire to learn.

Revisit his goals as he matures. If you see sparks that are starting to flame provide opportunities for him that will fan the flame. Always remember that you can nurture desire, you can't force it.

Deborah Lee
www.ourmusicalhome.com

For anyone who has ever felt stressed at Christmas...
Saving Christmas: Magical Tips for Creating Lasting Christmas Memories
http://savingchristmas.ourmusicalhome.com

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Permalink Reply by Laurel Knox Harper on November 29, 2008 at 6:33pm

You've had some really great comments here.

My daughters both play the piano. For the first several years that she played the piano, my younger daughter would state point blank, when asked, that she did not like the piano. She had to be prompted to practice. My older daughter has always liked it; she never really had to be reminded to practice. When we took them to a summer music program, however, my younger daughter became very enthusiastic about the piano; here's why.

She met children older and younger than herself. One of the comments here discussed ability vs. interest; my younger daughter found that, while some children may not have had her ability, all of the other children present had more interest. From that summer forward, we have never had to prompt her to practice. I think it helped her to see children that were enthusiastic about playing the piano; in our local piano studio, not all children have interest in regards to the piano, so there was no encouragement there for all of her years of playing the piano prior to the summer experience.

I very strongly believe that the summer program has made all the difference to her. Let me clarify: The interest demonstrated by other children present at the institute probably made all the difference. Think of it as a beauty pageant or a high school sport; the local contestants are somewhat run-of-the-mill, but the state competition is attended by individuals with more ability and interest. Music is no different.

Hope this helps.

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Permalink Reply by Colormepink on December 28, 2008 at 5:56pm

Might be an age thing, both of my kids are taking guitar now and practice every day is non-negotiable, like reading, math, etc. I think that they key is to make the amount of time palatable. We're only doing 30 minutes a day Mon-Fri. Granted no one is going to be a classical guitar player for a living, but it works for us.

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