Let's Talk About Sex BABY!!!

Permalink Reply by Cindy McGee on October 4, 2008 at 7:40am

I swear since I turned 30, my sex drive has gone up. Who would have thought having a child and raising a child would bring about a higher sex drive, LOL! Now I just need to turn the volume up on his drive.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Li on October 4, 2008 at 8:14am

My sex drive just vanished about a year ago, around the same time I was suffering some severe side effects from my depo injection. It was also around the time my partner moved in!! I then came off the injection and had the coil fitted - sex drive came back, but then it was far too painful!! I felt like I couldn't win, and my partner was worried I was just making excuses.

Now things have calmed down a bit, but I still have a very low sex drive. I think what it comes down to though is being so tired from work and other chores, that it's not easy to get sexy lol.

I make a point now to make sure I devote some time during the week to 'us' time. I'm home from work a while before he gets home, and my daughter goes to stay with her biological father for 2 of these nights, so I take advantage, no matter how tired I feel. I have a bath, put on some nice underwear, pour wine, light candles everywhere, and make sure I meet him as he walks through the door with nothing but underwear and heels on, and a glass of wine for him.

It's not much, but even if it's just one night a week, I think it's important to make the effort. Thoughts of housework, kids and work soon disappear, and it's always worth it in the end. The rest of the week might include the odd 'quicky' just before sleep, but at least I know there's always one night a week that we make each other feel special and sexy :)

I did just write up a blog about 'speed sex' (and other things) the other day as time with loved ones is something I'm missing and trying to reclaim, feel free to check it out and comment! : http://randommusingsfromli.blogspot.com/2008/10/did-anyone-see-jami...

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lisa Survillas on October 4, 2008 at 8:37am

This happened to me too when I was 30!! Its funny becasue he's the one whoo says, "I'm too tired tonight!" =)

Cindy McGee said:

I swear since I turned 30, my sex drive has gone up. Who would have thought having a child and raising a child would bring about a higher sex drive, LOL! Now I just need to turn the volume up on his drive.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lisa Survillas on October 4, 2008 at 8:38am

Well...you are gonna have to turn your brain off and just try to focus soley on you and him. If you have texting on your cell phones...send little hints to him all day and by the time the kid is in bed and you can get to it, you will both be more than ready. You'll both be thinking about it ALL DAY...

Rominna DeLeon said:

I am having the complete opposite problem... don't get me wrong we still have sex often enough but not like it was before I had my son (about 4 years ago) any suggestions????

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Dana Neal on October 4, 2008 at 11:00am

Intimacy between a husband and wife is almost like a chore after a certain time in life, certain age etc. I find that if I"m not angry....or upset..I would like SEX all the time. It just happens..but when other things are going on in my life that I am focused on...don't touch me....it won't be pretty LOL

Either way....I do have to keep the love alive and putting me aside is sometimes the best policy!

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Vanessa on October 4, 2008 at 12:02pm

Lisa is so right. Keep yourselves thinking about one another all day, you'll be ready!

Rominna DeLeon said:

I am having the complete opposite problem... don't get me wrong we still have sex often enough but not like it was before I had my son (about 4 years ago) any suggestions????

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Vanessa on October 4, 2008 at 12:09pm

It's neat to know the term "quicky" is universal.

I'm sure your man appreciates the effort you put forth for him. Sometimes that's all it takes.

One of my many secrets is to wear yoga pants and a cami to bed so he can't access anything. He usually gets up around 4 or 5am to use the bathroom and that's when I strip - quickly and quietly - and pretend to still be asleep because I know when he comes back to bed he usually gives me a squeeze and runs his hand down my hip as to say, I love you. He feels my bare skin - surprise - and he's instantly ready to love me.

Li said:

My sex drive just vanished about a year ago, around the same time I was suffering some severe side effects from my depo injection. It was also around the time my partner moved in!! I then came off the injection and had the coil fitted - sex drive came back, but then it was far too painful!! I felt like I couldn't win, and my partner was worried I was just making excuses.

Now things have calmed down a bit, but I still have a very low sex drive. I think what it comes down to though is being so tired from work and other chores, that it's not easy to get sexy lol.

I make a point now to make sure I devote some time during the week to 'us' time. I'm home from work a while before he gets home, and my daughter goes to stay with her biological father for 2 of these nights, so I take advantage, no matter how tired I feel. I have a bath, put on some nice underwear, pour wine, light candles everywhere, and make sure I meet him as he walks through the door with nothing but underwear and heels on, and a glass of wine for him.

It's not much, but even if it's just one night a week, I think it's important to make the effort. Thoughts of housework, kids and work soon disappear, and it's always worth it in the end. The rest of the week might include the odd 'quicky' just before sleep, but at least I know there's always one night a week that we make each other feel special and sexy :)

I did just write up a blog about 'speed sex' (and other things) the other day as time with loved ones is something I'm missing and trying to reclaim, feel free to check it out and comment! : http://randommusingsfromli.blogspot.com/2008/10/did-anyone-see-jami...

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lisa Survillas on October 4, 2008 at 12:15pm

Cool trick!! I am gonna have to try that one!! =)

Vanessa said:

It's neat to know the term "quicky" is universal.

I'm sure your man appreciates the effort you put forth for him. Sometimes that's all it takes.

One of my many secrets is to wear yoga pants and a cami to bed so he can't access anything. He usually gets up around 4 or 5am to use the bathroom and that's when I strip - quickly and quietly - and pretend to still be asleep because I know when he comes back to bed he usually gives me a squeeze and runs his hand down my hip as to say, I love you. He feels my bare skin - surprise - and he's instantly ready to love me.

Li said:
My sex drive just vanished about a year ago, around the same time I was suffering some severe side effects from my depo injection. It was also around the time my partner moved in!! I then came off the injection and had the coil fitted - sex drive came back, but then it was far too painful!! I felt like I couldn't win, and my partner was worried I was just making excuses.

Now things have calmed down a bit, but I still have a very low sex drive. I think what it comes down to though is being so tired from work and other chores, that it's not easy to get sexy lol.

I make a point now to make sure I devote some time during the week to 'us' time. I'm home from work a while before he gets home, and my daughter goes to stay with her biological father for 2 of these nights, so I take advantage, no matter how tired I feel. I have a bath, put on some nice underwear, pour wine, light candles everywhere, and make sure I meet him as he walks through the door with nothing but underwear and heels on, and a glass of wine for him.

It's not much, but even if it's just one night a week, I think it's important to make the effort. Thoughts of housework, kids and work soon disappear, and it's always worth it in the end. The rest of the week might include the odd 'quicky' just before sleep, but at least I know there's always one night a week that we make each other feel special and sexy :)

I did just write up a blog about 'speed sex' (and other things) the other day as time with loved ones is something I'm missing and trying to reclaim, feel free to check it out and comment! : http://randommusingsfromli.blogspot.com/2008/10/did-anyone-see-jami...

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Erin on October 4, 2008 at 12:34pm

Humm,

Well DH has always had a higher then average sex drive. But when i got pregnant he was one of those men who didn't want to hurt the baby when i got "bigger" LOL I think that our sex drive is still really good after having my son. I'm not on the pill anymore, but i do find that --THAT does bring down my sex drive. He hates to wear condoms but i'm not ready for another baby yet LOL He is a work-a-holic though and works probably 80 hours a week. So working lots and coming home to play with our son usually tires him out. BUT yeah if i'm feeling like it, i'll put the sexy underwear on and make him cuddle with me in bed...usually putting his hand on my breast does it LOL he's a boob man for sure.
Lisa Survillas said:

Cool trick!! I am gonna have to try that one!! =)

Vanessa said:
It's neat to know the term "quicky" is universal.

I'm sure your man appreciates the effort you put forth for him. Sometimes that's all it takes.

One of my many secrets is to wear yoga pants and a cami to bed so he can't access anything. He usually gets up around 4 or 5am to use the bathroom and that's when I strip - quickly and quietly - and pretend to still be asleep because I know when he comes back to bed he usually gives me a squeeze and runs his hand down my hip as to say, I love you. He feels my bare skin - surprise - and he's instantly ready to love me.

Li said:
My sex drive just vanished about a year ago, around the same time I was suffering some severe side effects from my depo injection. It was also around the time my partner moved in!! I then came off the injection and had the coil fitted - sex drive came back, but then it was far too painful!! I felt like I couldn't win, and my partner was worried I was just making excuses.

Now things have calmed down a bit, but I still have a very low sex drive. I think what it comes down to though is being so tired from work and other chores, that it's not easy to get sexy lol.

I make a point now to make sure I devote some time during the week to 'us' time. I'm home from work a while before he gets home, and my daughter goes to stay with her biological father for 2 of these nights, so I take advantage, no matter how tired I feel. I have a bath, put on some nice underwear, pour wine, light candles everywhere, and make sure I meet him as he walks through the door with nothing but underwear and heels on, and a glass of wine for him.

It's not much, but even if it's just one night a week, I think it's important to make the effort. Thoughts of housework, kids and work soon disappear, and it's always worth it in the end. The rest of the week might include the odd 'quicky' just before sleep, but at least I know there's always one night a week that we make each other feel special and sexy :)

I did just write up a blog about 'speed sex' (and other things) the other day as time with loved ones is something I'm missing and trying to reclaim, feel free to check it out and comment! : http://randommusingsfromli.blogspot.com/2008/10/did-anyone-see-jami...

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Christina Gayle on October 4, 2008 at 5:15pm

I've always had a pretty high sex drive. The problem is, we're both always so freaking tired all the time. It certainly doesn't help that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And I hate having to be the one who initiates all the time. I think he's afraid of bothering me when I'm tired or something, not matter how many times I've told him he's gotta make the move sometimes. But if we never did it when I'm tired, we would never do it! So I end up quite frustrated quite often.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Vanessa on October 4, 2008 at 6:50pm

Have you tried enticing him to make him want it? I have shut Jason out for up to two weeks to drive him crazy (boy did he come after me). I'm sure you'll get some good advice here.

Christina Gayle said:

I've always had a pretty high sex drive. The problem is, we're both always so freaking tired all the time. It certainly doesn't help that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And I hate having to be the one who initiates all the time. I think he's afraid of bothering me when I'm tired or something, not matter how many times I've told him he's gotta make the move sometimes. But if we never did it when I'm tired, we would never do it! So I end up quite frustrated quite often.

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Beth on October 7, 2008 at 6:10am

For my husband and myself we go through fazes. At one point we are having sex all the time, then we can go 2 to 3 weeks not having sex at all. We just had a baby 5 weeks ago and now are making up for some lost time. What really helps is he truly is the best lover I have ever had. Christina I know what you mean about being tired all the time. There are so many nights I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep. But I know we need to be close and once we start I am soooo into it. Just have to ignore the tired part. :)

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Announce yourself!

Badge