Let's Talk About Sex BABY!!!
Ok ladies...the men all talk about it (probably far more than you think). Let's have a safe place where we can vent, question, and discuss topics that go along with sex and your spouse. Don't be shy!! There is no judging here!
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Karrie on -
It's so hard to get past that feeling over utter exhaustion. I know what you mean. :)
Kristi said:I'm only mid 20's but my sex drive is ugghh for lack of a better word I guess. Been married 1.5yrs now..know my dh for almost 3yrs and we used to have sex all the time when we could when dating..he lived 90 miles away. We got married and had sex like 3 times the week we got married..I find out later that I was pregnant..we had sex bout once a week or two, I was tired a lot due to pg. When I was around 4 months pg I swelled up really bad down there and it even hurt to put pressure so we didn't have sex for a bit..later in my pg towards the end we tried again and it hurt and baby was so heavy on my frame that my hips were in major pain and I had to sleep sitting up on the couch in order not to hurt for the rest of my pg. Had our son end of Nov. last year and we didn't have sex until around Jan-Feb....and it did hurt..I had an episiotomy(sp) and I felt that I was tender and I was too 'small' down there. We didn't have sex again until end of April and so pretty much he has a super duper sex drive and w/me, between sahm/wahm, kids, army duties, chores and everything else that I have zero energy to even walk to the bedroom to make time for sex..I told him we could if he carried me to the bed and I just laid there..lol Surprisingly enough tho this morning I woke up and intiated having sex..surprised both of us..it was good..but wish I had that all the time...it puts a strain on our marriage tho w/the lack of sex.
-
Permalink Reply by Felicia Pratt Ellis on
-
I need so much help in this area. Since my son was born we've only had sex twice. The first time was very awkward and this time was less than very awkward. I'm just not enjoying it any more. I have talked with him and let him know that having suck on my breast all the time and pumping doesn't make me feel like a women. My sexual side has vanished. He does little things to keep that side of me, like grab my butt, kiss my neck, etc. He does this just during the day, while at the store wherever. It's good cause it helps remind my body that I am a sexual being. But I feel like it's taking too long. Also, I am terrified that I may get pregnant again. I'm on birth control (have been since 2 weeks pp) but I'm still terrified. What should I do?
-
-
That's a neat trick. I have to keep that in mind.
Vanessa said:It's neat to know the term "quicky" is universal.
I'm sure your man appreciates the effort you put forth for him. Sometimes that's all it takes.
One of my many secrets is to wear yoga pants and a cami to bed so he can't access anything. He usually gets up around 4 or 5am to use the bathroom and that's when I strip - quickly and quietly - and pretend to still be asleep because I know when he comes back to bed he usually gives me a squeeze and runs his hand down my hip as to say, I love you. He feels my bare skin - surprise - and he's instantly ready to love me.
Li said:My sex drive just vanished about a year ago, around the same time I was suffering some severe side effects from my depo injection. It was also around the time my partner moved in!! I then came off the injection and had the coil fitted - sex drive came back, but then it was far too painful!! I felt like I couldn't win, and my partner was worried I was just making excuses.
Now things have calmed down a bit, but I still have a very low sex drive. I think what it comes down to though is being so tired from work and other chores, that it's not easy to get sexy lol.
I make a point now to make sure I devote some time during the week to 'us' time. I'm home from work a while before he gets home, and my daughter goes to stay with her biological father for 2 of these nights, so I take advantage, no matter how tired I feel. I have a bath, put on some nice underwear, pour wine, light candles everywhere, and make sure I meet him as he walks through the door with nothing but underwear and heels on, and a glass of wine for him.
It's not much, but even if it's just one night a week, I think it's important to make the effort. Thoughts of housework, kids and work soon disappear, and it's always worth it in the end. The rest of the week might include the odd 'quicky' just before sleep, but at least I know there's always one night a week that we make each other feel special and sexy :)
I did just write up a blog about 'speed sex' (and other things) the other day as time with loved ones is something I'm missing and trying to reclaim, feel free to check it out and comment! : http://randommusingsfromli.blogspot.com/2008/10/did-anyone-see-jami...
-
Permalink Reply by Vanessa on -
Felicia, MANY women experience this after childbirth. What you're feeling is not uncommon.
From personal experience, I would like to recommend the IUD for birth control. Similar to a tampon, it is inserted with an applicator right in the office. It is painless for the most part (some cramping in the first few hours), and maintenance free for up to TEN YEARS!! It doesn't mess with your periods or make you break out like the pill, etc. I used this method after our daughter was born, then again after our son was born, until I was "fixed".
As for your loss of drive, allow your husband to continue kissing you. A time when you are alone, let him kiss your lips & neck - with NO expectations. If the love is still strong, then naturally, you will want to progress into love making. We figured this out after our six-year-old was born. I wanted nothing to do with sex, but I loved my husband's kissing me - it made me feel so loved. Eventually, the wall came down and we even feel closer because of that sensuality.
I hope this helps, you're sure to receive much support in this group.
Felicia Pratt Ellis said:I need so much help in this area. Since my son was born we've only had sex twice. The first time was very awkward and this time was less than very awkward. I'm just not enjoying it any more. I have talked with him and let him know that having suck on my breast all the time and pumping doesn't make me feel like a women. My sexual side has vanished. He does little things to keep that side of me, like grab my butt, kiss my neck, etc. He does this just during the day, while at the store wherever. It's good cause it helps remind my body that I am a sexual being. But I feel like it's taking too long. Also, I am terrified that I may get pregnant again. I'm on birth control (have been since 2 weeks pp) but I'm still terrified. What should I do?
-
Permalink Reply by Vanessa on
-
In stead of creating a new topic, I moved this reply to the appropriate existing category.
LaDonna Harris asks:
Okay, I just had a baby 2.5 weeks ago. And I'm sooo wanting to get active again. LOL. And he does too. But it's so soon. Now, don't get me wrong, I know how these things work. This is our 6th baby and it's been the same every time. Only I'm hornier sooner than I have been in the past. :) He's not pushing so that's not an issue; he doesn't want me to hurt myself. We've never waited the 6 weeks (did you?) but two weeks is EARLY!! HELP! Suggestions? Anyone?
-
Permalink Reply by Just because on -
Well, I am 25 and I used to hate sex, but when I got with my hubby it was like the light bulb went on and I just can't get enough of him. LOL
-
-
Thank you so much for your in put. I have been thinking about trying an IUD but I am nervous, I'm currently on the Depo and it seems to be working fine (an no periods, after 3 months of bleeding). I do love when he kisses me. Infact I realize my problem is being in the house. We went away about two weeks ago and not having kids around, or worry about anything was such an aphrodisiac. I really enjoyed that time with him.
Vanessa said:Felicia, MANY women experience this after childbirth. What you're feeling is not uncommon.
From personal experience, I would like to recommend the IUD for birth control. Similar to a tampon, it is inserted with an applicator right in the office. It is painless for the most part (some cramping in the first few hours), and maintenance free for up to TEN YEARS!! It doesn't mess with your periods or make you break out like the pill, etc. I used this method after our daughter was born, then again after our son was born, until I was "fixed".
As for your loss of drive, allow your husband to continue kissing you. A time when you are alone, let him kiss your lips & neck - with NO expectations. If the love is still strong, then naturally, you will want to progress into love making. We figured this out after our six-year-old was born. I wanted nothing to do with sex, but I loved my husband's kissing me - it made me feel so loved. Eventually, the wall came down and we even feel closer because of that sensuality.
I hope this helps, you're sure to receive much support in this group.
Felicia Pratt Ellis said:I need so much help in this area. Since my son was born we've only had sex twice. The first time was very awkward and this time was less than very awkward. I'm just not enjoying it any more. I have talked with him and let him know that having suck on my breast all the time and pumping doesn't make me feel like a women. My sexual side has vanished. He does little things to keep that side of me, like grab my butt, kiss my neck, etc. He does this just during the day, while at the store wherever. It's good cause it helps remind my body that I am a sexual being. But I feel like it's taking too long. Also, I am terrified that I may get pregnant again. I'm on birth control (have been since 2 weeks pp) but I'm still terrified. What should I do?
-
Permalink Reply by Rugbymom on -
In response to a lot of the comments about wanting it..i find the more you do it, the more you want it! Seriously, it is like you increase your appetite by doing it. The first couple times, just do it. Then you will want it more and that will be sexier to your husband. Seriously.
-
Permalink Reply by Vanessa on
-
Did you try this trick? How did it go?
Lisa Survillas said:Cool trick!! I am gonna have to try that one!! =)
Vanessa said:It's neat to know the term "quicky" is universal.
I'm sure your man appreciates the effort you put forth for him. Sometimes that's all it takes.
One of my many secrets is to wear yoga pants and a cami to bed so he can't access anything. He usually gets up around 4 or 5am to use the bathroom and that's when I strip - quickly and quietly - and pretend to still be asleep because I know when he comes back to bed he usually gives me a squeeze and runs his hand down my hip as to say, I love you. He feels my bare skin - surprise - and he's instantly ready to love me.
Li said:My sex drive just vanished about a year ago, around the same time I was suffering some severe side effects from my depo injection. It was also around the time my partner moved in!! I then came off the injection and had the coil fitted - sex drive came back, but then it was far too painful!! I felt like I couldn't win, and my partner was worried I was just making excuses.
Now things have calmed down a bit, but I still have a very low sex drive. I think what it comes down to though is being so tired from work and other chores, that it's not easy to get sexy lol.
I make a point now to make sure I devote some time during the week to 'us' time. I'm home from work a while before he gets home, and my daughter goes to stay with her biological father for 2 of these nights, so I take advantage, no matter how tired I feel. I have a bath, put on some nice underwear, pour wine, light candles everywhere, and make sure I meet him as he walks through the door with nothing but underwear and heels on, and a glass of wine for him.
It's not much, but even if it's just one night a week, I think it's important to make the effort. Thoughts of housework, kids and work soon disappear, and it's always worth it in the end. The rest of the week might include the odd 'quicky' just before sleep, but at least I know there's always one night a week that we make each other feel special and sexy :)
I did just write up a blog about 'speed sex' (and other things) the other day as time with loved ones is something I'm missing and trying to reclaim, feel free to check it out and comment! : http://randommusingsfromli.blogspot.com/2008/10/did-anyone-see-jami...
-
Permalink Reply by kat4489 on -
I am exactly the same, since I had my daughter we have only had sex 3 times, I am on the pill but there is not one part of me that wants to. My husband is wonderful but I am just not the same since giving birth!
Felicia Pratt Ellis said:I need so much help in this area. Since my son was born we've only had sex twice. The first time was very awkward and this time was less than very awkward. I'm just not enjoying it any more. I have talked with him and let him know that having suck on my breast all the time and pumping doesn't make me feel like a women. My sexual side has vanished. He does little things to keep that side of me, like grab my butt, kiss my neck, etc. He does this just during the day, while at the store wherever. It's good cause it helps remind my body that I am a sexual being. But I feel like it's taking too long. Also, I am terrified that I may get pregnant again. I'm on birth control (have been since 2 weeks pp) but I'm still terrified. What should I do?
-
Permalink Reply by PartyDiva on -
Hi Ladies~
This is right up my alley!! I love talking about this!!
I sell romance products!!
So, there is always something new & exciting for me & my husband!!
I think it is a huge turn on for my husband to know that I have a big box full of surprises!!
It's a lot of fun but it keeps our romance fresh & exciting!!
-
Permalink Reply by Melinda Meyer on -
I find myself having some of the same issues as all of you. I am 36, mom of three boys. Our oldest is 13 and is special needs, so we have always had to focus more on him. The older he has gotten, the more independent he is and doesn't need as much care. However, my other two are 9 and 6. I just feel tired, all the time!
I can have the best intention all day and really be excited for "our time". But when it comes and I am relaxed, I become to tired to even care about the sex. My hubby is so wonderful and says its "okay". But come on, he is a man and I know that sometimes it is not okay. He has needs too and so do I. I just can't get out of the slump.
We have tried the texting thing and even have had date nights with sex being the dessert. But, once we get home, I am just not in the mood. I am hurt and disappointed in myself because he is so great and deserves the best.
Are we doomed? I use to love having sex! What happened? HELP!
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- Next ›
Announce yourself!
© 2010 Created by Megan Calhoun
