How do you answer when people/complete strangers ask, "So... are you going to try for a girl?"

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Believe it or not, I was asked this on the day of my discharge w/my 2nd son. It was the woman who takes the photos for the web nursery. (She was well into her 60's...) and asked that dreaded question. "Uh.... I just gave birth, having a 3rd isn't really on the radar right now... "

I just get irked w/people thinking that somehow my family's not perfect b/c I don't have one of each. Why would having one of each be the ideal, stereotypical picture perfect family?

"Oh, but you don't get to buy all those cute little dresses, tights, or dress up costumes..." Ummm, sorry, I can't see wrangling tights on a 9mo let alone dealing w/them on a 3yo learning to use the potty as something I'm sad to miss out on. As for dress up costumes, we have a trunk full of pirate, policeman, fireman, cowboy gear. It racks up!

"Oh, but you're going to miss out on all the tea parties and going to the ballet...." Well then, the person who says this is just a lil-bit close minded in the fact that I wouldn't be able to share those experiences w/my son. Why yesterday, we were talking about the music from The Nutcracker Suite and I was thinking that I'd bet my 4yo would really enjoy seeing that ballet. He loves classical music, he loves to dance around the house, why wouldn't he love it?

So, enough of my ramblings... and you'll learn that I do that all too often. But I can say w/out a doubt, I love having my boys. Our family's complete and I don't feel the need to add another set of girly bits to the mix. ;)

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Permalink Reply by Laura on October 4, 2008 at 9:19pm: We are not having any more kids. I am too old to start with diapers and my two kids are old enough to be left alone and my husband and I can go out whenever we want. Besides, my neice is 2 years old and I love her to pieces and see her all the time. She has twin baby brothers 7 weeks old, too. And my next door neighbor has a beautiful family, a 14 year old boy, a 12 year old daughter and a beautiful baby (9 months old) girl. That I get to see on a daily basis. This may sound weird but I am perfectly happy with my two big boys. I don't need girls in my house,24/7. I am the queen, and I reign supreme.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Hadassah Sabo on October 5, 2008 at 6:45am: i have FOUR boys and am constantly asked this q - but i tell people with a smile that i am more than blessed with my 4 gentlemen who treat me like a queen, i dont want any competition. besides, i am now a single mom - no more kids on the radar, what would i even do with a girl? i only know boys LOL; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Laurie Mapp on October 5, 2008 at 8:56am: My DH is having his vasectomy soon and the main comment we get from friends is - but then you'll never have a little girl! Um, nope but done is done - I want to keep my sanity, lol!! I love having all boys and while I did kind of like the idea of little girls clothes, nothing beats having a mama's boy!

So I just tell people that I love my boys and don't need a girl to make my family perfect. And I glare at them if they dare to ask the stupid question in front of my boys - Seriously people? Not nice.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Trysha on October 5, 2008 at 6:28pm: Hi, I'm new here but just jumping in. I have two boys who are 13 months apart and am now pregnant with surprise #3. When I tell people that we're are expecting a boy (100% a boy) they look at me with disappointment. Then they'll say something flippant about how ultrasounds aren't always correct and there's a chance it could be a girl. Um...no chance with this one. LOL; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by ComfyMom~Stacey on October 6, 2008 at 9:57am: I say "I'm 41. What do *you* think?"

That said, we are considering doing foster care & possibly adoption through the foster care system. But that is because I want another child, not because I want a daughter. Any child would be welcome.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Candes on October 6, 2008 at 2:11pm: "Are you kidding me? I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't have to share my clothes or the drama. One girl's enough in my house."

When I was pg w/ my second people would ask what I was hoping for and I told them "a boy." I had a dream I was having a boy and viola, a boy I was having.

I had a hair stylist tell me, after learning I had two boys, "Oh, I got lucky and got one of each." WTH?

I HAPPENED TO WANT TWO BOYS AND GOT IT! THAT'S PRETTY DARN LUCKY.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kristine on October 6, 2008 at 11:11pm: I had that question asked SO many times when I was pg with baby # two that when I found out baby #3 was a boy I had a t-shirt made that said. Yes, its a BOY and I'm lovin it!
Whenever anyone comments on how we should try for a girl, or are saddened for me because they think not having a girl means I am somehow less of a mom, it drives me crazy and I want to strangle them!

My normal response to people that say 'oh, all boys, too bad you didn't get a girl" I say - soon enough my life will be full of girl(friends); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sandra on October 7, 2008 at 8:00pm: Dawn Johnson said:
I have fraternal twin boys and as a twin mom people say a lot of things without thinking (dumb things really, rude things, but I'm trying to be nice about it) but one that really bothers me is this very question. "Are you going to try for a girl?" I've had complete strangers say to me at the park, "too bad you didn't have one of each so you could be all done at once." I even heard similar sentiments during my pregnancy. I kindly but firmly explain that I'm very happy with my family as it is and that I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Who decided that everyone's "ideal" is 2 kids, a boy and a girl and then life is perfect?

I identify with a lot of the other sentiments listed above as well like why can't my boys be taken to the ballet or even take ballet if they want to? I have 6 nieces, I get plenty of girl time with them. Enough to know that I don't think I could mother teenage girls without killing them. So I think it all turned out for the best.

It is amazing isn't it? I have fraternal twin boys and a step son. All boys. People ask if I want a girl and I always tell them the odds are not in my favor.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cara on October 8, 2008 at 10:08pm: Right now we only have one son, but I have been asked that question a lot when we go shopping a lot, especially since our son is only a year old, they always ask when we are planning to try for a girl.

In our case, we both have about 99% boys on both sides of our families, so if we actually did have a girl, everyone would all be surprised. But I really don't mind. I have always loved raising boys. I would love to have at least one girl, but if we are blessed with all boys, then that is what God wanted us to be blessed with in our specialty!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Barbara Ryan on October 9, 2008 at 8:48am: I still get this question ALL the time. My boys are 51/2 and almost 3 and everyone always asks, "It's about time to go for the girl now isn't it? Um, no actually, I'm quite done thank you. Two children is plenty for me, and while I did want a girl and was pretty surprised to hear the "It's a boy!" from the OB during my 2nd c/s, I am over it and very happy with my 2 boys who will someday(obviously not at this moment as they torment eachother) be the best of buddies being close in age. I tell them, no we're done and it's all taken care of so no worries, no chance, no how. Thinking about it now, I'm not sure I could handle the hormones of a girl, from what I see my friends with girls deal with regularily. LOL; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Karissma on October 10, 2008 at 2:12pm: My usual response is "If God puts it in writing I am definently having a girl, then sure I will try" *giggles* Having another boy would be a blessing, but 2 is good enough for me.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kara on December 9, 2008 at 8:43pm: Someone on Mom Bloggers Club posted a link to an article, The Daughter I Never Had, by a mom of all boys. A good read...http://tinyurl.com/5mwcog; ▶ Reply to This