How Do You Feel When Your Friends Get Pregnant w/ Their Second?

I guess I am speaking about those MO1 who wish they could have had another child. One of my best friends and I were pregnant together with our first children. Due to being sick w/Lupus, my age and financial problems I will not have another child. I knew my friend was trying, it took her over 7 months but of course she is pregnant, and I feel so jealous and upset.

It's so personal with children, you know? I am trying to be happy for her but I only feel upset about my situation. Two people around me are pregnant again and I feel like I am going to collapse when I see them. It will require quite an acting job.

Thanks for letting me vent. I never thought I would feel like this, that I should be happy with my one beautiful son, and how dare I want more?

Emily

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ana on December 15, 2008 at 5:54pm: I think I know how you feel...

After about 9 years of trying to get pregnant and no sucess, we finally did through IVF. We have a beautiful 1 year old but I'm ready for another one! LOL And when I see pregnant women, although I've already had one, I feel sad because I'd like to experience again and not sure if it'll happen. =/; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by FLT on January 7, 2009 at 1:01pm: Oh, the worst is the ones who don't seem to give a darn doing it again.

But I also admit to being very jealous of people who simply MUST have their lives better together than mine, or they wouldn't be doing this again. Before we had the one, we knew we should only have one. Population growth, being over 40, husband's health complications, very high need child, SO MANY reasons having one is the right choice for us. But I go crazy sometimes seeing women who can handle more than one, some even with aplomb.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Deirdre Ryan Photography on January 12, 2009 at 3:12pm: i comepletly understand!

all of my friends except one is either pregnant with their second(or #6!) or trying or plan on trying very soon for their second or third.

to have our one wonderful little girl was almost 5 years in the making. having MS and FMS was never the cause, no one could find the reason. i had exploratory surgeries to find out what was wrong, and apparently i have a perfect female system. i had the worst diagnosis, unexplained infertility.

5 medicated cycles with one loss, we conceived :) then when she was around 9 months, we were happily surprised to be prg again! only to loose the baby at 10 weeks.

i am trying to be happy and truthfully i am. i'm an only child, however my parents bought a large 4 bedroom house, so i know i was supposed to have siblings. apparently i'm a miracle child as well.

now we are told that if we want one more, to try within the next 2 years due to age, i'm 36 now. but we are concerned over my health, as MS has many symptoms and can have relapses at any given time. but the beauty of being prg with MS is that all my symptoms go away for 9 blessed months! LOL

so it's a tough choice for us, but it looks like our daughter will be a very happy only child. it's hard to come to terms with this. but we need to in order to move on and be happy.

but

those feelings of jealousy are still there hidden, those infertility wounds run very, very deep and it still hurts.

cyber hugs!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by oshun55 on January 14, 2009 at 12:45pm: Many of the women in my Bradley class have gone on to have a third! I feel bad, but I try to stay positive. I sincerely hope I'm not turning into one of those women who have 2nd baby desperation written all over the face, but sometimes that's how I feel.

Thank god I no longer blame my stbe. That was really unhealthy, as in the end it's really God that decides these things.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Davelyn Joy & Mommy on March 15, 2009 at 10:40am: I feel sympathy for people that want to have one or more and can't. I too have watched plenty of woman that neglect the child during pregnancy and after the baby is born. And then just pop them out one after the other and don't take care of any of them. I think this is unfair, but GOD has things happen for a reason that wasn't meant to be understood. Hopefully, I will have the chance to have at least one more years from now. But right now, I am enjoying my one on one time with the child I have. I hear that it is a task giving attention to more than one child.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Samantha on May 1, 2009 at 12:54pm: I know I'm kind of late in the game replying to this, but thought I'd add my two cents. My son is 20 months and will likely be the only child that we will ever have. We went through years of infertility before adopting him. He is such a joy and I'm content with just him, but there are times that I still wish I could have been pregnant. I too have a hard time with those who seem to get pregnant at the drop of a hat and aren't happy about it. I try to be gracious, but the closer I get to 40 and those chances continue to drop, the less I'm able to handle it. And, to be honest, I think it is a natural reaction. So, Like Davelynn, I choose to enjoy my one on one time with my son and look forward to the closeness that he and I will share :).; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Emily on May 6, 2009 at 8:52pm: It's funny to see this topic brought up again. My friend is due June 27th and the mixed feelings of happiness for her and sadness for me rise up again.

I just feel like with being ill I never got the chance to choose whether or not I would have more kids. I know I am a good mom, but this is very hard being sick. I wish I could have gotten to experience it healthy and just had a normal situation where I could have chosen to have another child.

I loved the pregnancy experience, if I took my sickness out of it, I love everything about raising a chid. I feel my husband and I probably would have had one more.

It seems like a few people I know are completing their boy-girl with their second pregnancy and that makes me feel even worse, lol.

Although I love my son with all my heart and could not ask for a better child.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Nsaula on October 25, 2009 at 10:59pm: Well, I go back and fourth with this question... NOthing wrong--it is possible to get preg again! I just get scared thinking about the way it will effect our lives! When my daughter was a baby, she's 4 now, my husband and I just argued and fought about everything. This lasted about two years. We are still not completely healed. However, as daughter gets older and I get older, I feel I am loosing my chance. Sometimes, I feel that's its just not fair that other people get to have a second child and how they can handle things so much better.

Does anyone else desire a second child but think it would hurt their marriage so wont do it?

BTW, we have no family in the USA. Thus no close cousins, and so on. I am also an only child without family. We are also bi-cultural an thus I think it would be great for our daughter to have someone else to share that experience with.; ▶ Reply to This

How Do You Feel When Your Friends Get Pregnant w/ Their Second?

Replies to This Discussion

Announce yourself!