How do you motivate your teen?

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Permalink Reply by Michelle on November 6, 2009 at 10:42am

mom of five teenagers here and I have found a few things.. one... a lot of parenting things are best if they are taught very early.... like from birth.. then by the time they to get to be teenagers it works better. Motivation is one of these things.. I motivate the children to "do" by making sure there are lots of consequences for not getting things done. Privileges, phone...tv... friends... game night... movies.. whatever it might be... are based on things like grades... attitiude... and all around behaviour. It has always been this way and it seems to work really well for us.. .. we skip the arguing and fighting about homework and chores because they all just know it is thier choice to make. I am not sure how well this would work if we waited until they were teens.. but having started it before they remember it works well.. consistency.. follow through... consequences. Also show by example... I do think that works better than anything said.

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Permalink Reply by Lori on November 9, 2009 at 12:31pm

I definitely agree with Michelle, and a lot of this comes from what you've instilled since birth. I think its also about setting them up for good behavior, and rewarding them when it comes through. When my daughter gets home from school, I give her time and space for homework and studying. I don't plan anything too heavy during the week because I know she'll have a lot of homework. I also ask her about extra activities, and we decide together if she has time for certain things. Since she is an overachiever, I do make sure she doesn't study for hours every night. I try and teach her about life balance by showing it myself as well. We also go out and celebrate on weekends and days off in a fun way that we can both enjoy. Communication is king, and making sure you have time for a little of everything.

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Permalink Reply by Lois@HisFireKids.com on November 9, 2009 at 11:02pm

I have mixed feelings about this very useful info....
I agree you teach them from birth, BUT I am learning that in seasons many teens start to test and consider IF they want to do what is right. As a children's pastor I encounter alot of kids coming from diff parenting styles and I find many of them still seem to be deciding if they want to cooperate. So one of our teachers uses a combination of loving encouragement and mild group embarrasment to get the job done.

Thanks,
Lois
http://HisFireKids.com
http://ParentingTwinsandMore.com

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Permalink Reply by Judy Noyes on November 12, 2009 at 7:52am

Small steps first then build on it. Give them NOTHING else to work on for a few weeks, BUT to get their home work done on time. Don't throw in making your bed, doing your chores, etc.. If they are 13, young teenagers, they still like rewards. They also respond to "taking away" from their allowance, and taking away tv, computer, game time. In our family, we take away $1 a day from their allowance if what we ask of them does not happen. This may not work with older teenagers. But I do think, that especially with teens, give them one thing to work on at a time. Focus on just doing homework, then give some sort of a reward at the end of the week.

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