Do you have more or less patience as a "later" mom?

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Permalink Reply by Tony and Lizzy's Mommy on March 2, 2009 at 7:04pm

I feel like I am a better mommy at 38 than I was at 20. I don't always have the same amount of energy, but I have so much more patience and appreciation for being a mommy. I have so much more experience and am so much more comfortable saying no and setting boundries. I also have learned to take more time to color and play play dough.

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Permalink Reply by lynne robinson on March 5, 2009 at 12:45pm

Its funny, but I definately have MORE patience with the baby and much LESS with my older kids. I used to think that the baby stage was the hardest and least rewarding......but my 14, 12 and 8 year old boys have quickly disabused me of that idea.

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Permalink Reply by Darcy Cruwys on March 5, 2009 at 1:00pm

I definitely have more -- there's no WAY I would've rolled with the punches 10 years ago the way I can now!

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Permalink Reply by Sheila Kamp on March 30, 2009 at 12:32am

I would love to say that I have more...as I have great patience in everything else that I do. But, I actually feel that I have less and constantly have to focus hard to keep myself in check.

I think, that for me as an older Mom (44 with kids age 6 and 2), my challenges are the fact that I expend so much energy keeping everything going that my patience runs thin with those that test it the most. My kids deserve my time, but everything else has to be done too and they need more help than everyone else in my life - I just keep having to remind myself of that. It is all really related to the amount of self-pressure that I put on myself.

Also, my husband has a very short fuse and when my son was born, I was a little concerned - but he was the best Dad you could imagine with a newborn. When my son turned 18 months, things started to change and now that we have my daughter too who is asserting her independence, it is more challenging. I find that my temperament gets fired up more easily by his and so the circle goes on.

I certainly find that when I take time for myself - I have a better handle on my temperament. When my life becomes all kid-care, home-care and job with no fun....I am way more irritable and impatient. We all need a break and a release.

I recently had to make a list of things I am grateful for as part of an assignment. I ended up extending this to include a list of reasons why I appreciate my husband, my son and my daughter. One night I read these to my son before he went to bed. He thought this list was wonderful and now asks me to read it every night. He especially wants to hear the lists about his Dad and his sister. His response to this has made me use this as a tool to help myself.

Being 44 - I at least have the insight to understand that I have areas to improve and I at least seek out ways to achieve that. I don't know that I would have recognized these challenges or had the resourcefulness to overcome them in my 20's.

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Permalink Reply by Jenn on April 8, 2009 at 9:12am

I think I have more patience, but less energy. Some things I don't sweat as much as I might have earlier.

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Permalink Reply by Laura Gilson on April 11, 2009 at 5:12am

I have more patience for my children but , feel I have less for my self. I am strict with myself, keeping up.

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Permalink Reply by Tracey Morin on April 20, 2009 at 2:44pm

I actualy think I have less patience as a 42 yr. old mom with a 2,16 and 12yr. old. I was watching home movies of when my eldest was 2 and man did I have more patience with him ecspecially when he was asking me the same question over and over and I answered him everytime calmly. when my now 2 yr. old does the samething I can hear myself after he 4th time get frustrated.. I also think that I expect my older two to help me or know what to do without being told a million times. That makes me lose patience but I am learning to take a deep breath and answer calmly because they are still young and to choose my battles. I think the older I am the more tired I get faster. But I wouldnt change it for the world.

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Permalink Reply by Carmen on April 22, 2009 at 5:12pm

Louise said:

I feel like I have more patience. Since I had my 4th child at 43, I was not as strict with her as I was with my older ones because I had learned to pick and choose my battles.

I can relate to what you said! I am definitely smarter about my battles. The higher level of patience - not sure if that is a result of my age or that two sons preceded the birth of my daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Keeley Hardy on November 10, 2009 at 2:34pm

I had my daughter at age 22 and then my first son at age 31 and then my third son 15 months later and I definitley had more patience and energy as a younger mum. As a younger mum I never felt worn out or that I needed a break from my daughter. I always felt ready for anything and never found the tantrums as hard to deal with as I do now. When I was younger I never worried about being judged by other mothers like I do now. I think unless you have experienced both sides of the coin and had children both early on and later then have nothing to compare it to. There is a reason why we biologically are able to have children at such a yound age and not later in life........

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Permalink Reply by Linda Burke-Galloway on January 2, 2010 at 11:07am

I agree, Robin but I think part of it might be menopause, at least with me. I love my sons but because they're 11 mos apart, and have the sibling rivalry thing going, sometimes the arguments are a bit much. I found when I step back from the situation and look at them objectively (as opposed to merely reacting), I see their world as a 8 and 9 year old. I'm truly blessed to have them but have to get used to putting my own agenda to the side.

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