Don't Call Me Old

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Permalink Reply by robin gorman newman on January 7, 2009 at 11:44am

HATE it. That's why, Motherhood Later uses the phrase "later moms". I never say older. Age is such a state of mind. I was actually once asked if I was the mom or grandmom...and I don't even look my age, I'm told. So, what was that about?

Robin

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Permalink Reply by FLT on January 7, 2009 at 12:45pm

It's BS.

I could not enjoy my pregancy, which was in every way healthy, because of the geriatric mother label. I was pushed into this and that test and sneered at when I refused because I was so old it was my duty to get my insurance to pay for more useless wastes of my time. If I had shown any actual, physical risks that would be a different matter. If I had any time now (I don't, I have a three year old) I'd try to find a way to fight this age discrimination but I have a child to raise. :)

Since I work in the Children's Dept. of a library I see many many young and unhealthy parents so the older mom label is particularly irksome.

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Permalink Reply by avwall on January 7, 2009 at 4:14pm

I like to joke around about it and call myself an "old lady mom." I'm anything but old. I really don't care what other people think or what they call me.

I did have a hard time with the labeling when I was pregnant but mainly because the doctors sucked the joy out of the whole process by reminding me of all the risks (non-stop reminders). I left every ultrasound crying and praying that my baby was ok. (He was more than ok). I know the doctors are just doing their jobs but maybe they need to start looking at the positive statistics and not at all the negatives. It's good to be cautious but let us enjoy the process at the same time!

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Permalink Reply by Tracy Evans on January 7, 2009 at 7:11pm

I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who hates that label!

Tracy

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Permalink Reply by Lori Paquette on January 22, 2009 at 10:50am

Hi Tracy,
When I turned 40, my son was 2 months old and my daughter was 2 1/2. I never thought of myself as an "older mom,"either, and, like you, got upset then when I was referred as such -- even mistaken to be the kids' grandmother by a nurse at the radiology clinic prior to a mammogram. That bothered me, but over time, I learned to just roll with it since anyone who labels a person something is being judgmental and not worth the expended energy fretting about it. That's the wisdom I embraced when I turned 45! ;)

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Permalink Reply by Denise-Marie Lockner on February 3, 2009 at 1:48pm

Hi There! I was 37 when I adopted my son from Korea. He was 5 months old at the time. I felt great and had so much energy. I loved/love being a mom. I am 43 now and my son is 7 and I do not feel old at all. It is a funny feeling though when I meet other moms at my son's school who are in their 20's and they have 7 yr olds. I feel alittle bit older then. I am glad that I found this site.

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Permalink Reply by Lynda on February 4, 2009 at 11:16am

I had my daughter when I was 38, she was born in Holland and I was treated like a "freak". I got so upset about it, then at 14 weeks they did a test that showed my risk of having a baby with abnormalities was the same as a 15 year old. They tried to push me into having an amnio but I refused because of the risk of miscarriage.

I had my son (now 15 weeks old) at age 40 here in the UK. They still went on about "the risks" . I don't feel 40, I don't act 40 and I believe I'm a much better mum for waiting.

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Permalink Reply by Danie Bell on February 10, 2009 at 11:04am

Not fun at all. I don't feel old. OK, well maybe a little when I get up the morning. I also own a landscaping company and it keeps me fit. I love planting and creating new landscapes.
Great discussion,
Danie

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Permalink Reply by flicka47 on April 6, 2009 at 4:29pm

Doesn't really bother me too much. I was 46 when my girl was born.My doctor was wonderful,in part I am sure because everything went so well for me. He kept telling me he wished his younger moms-to-be were doing as well! The nurses at the hospital were a little nuts,but even that was because they had two moms -to-be over 40,and six "youngsters" in a hospital that normally only delivers 20 babies a month!
The funny one however is my husband- he's younger than me and just hates being asked if he's "grandpa".(it happens a lot more to him than me!)

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Permalink Reply by Kay33 on April 7, 2009 at 1:04pm

I'm always caught off guard when someone comments on my age. I had 4 children in my 20's and was always one of the youngest moms in the group. And then in my early 40's a had a beautiful little girl. So now I am usually the oldest one in the group. The older comment always makes me feel set apart. I am determined not to act or think old. My daughter deserves a young thinking mom.

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