One Simple Question: Dealing with Pre-Dinner Chaos

I recently started a new feature on my blog called, One Simple Question. It started innocently enough, I had a simple question for my readers--what was their system for dealing with library books? How did they avoid the fines and late charges? I was about to build a new wing of the library in my family's honor if I didn't do something about our library "issues".
But my questions kept coming and my readers had some great responses to the things I threw out at them. And I loved the ideas and even (some) of the advice.

Meanwhile, I thought this week, I'd ask one of my simple questions to all of you TwitterMoms, as well. I'd love to hear your thoughts....

How do you simplify the before dinner rush? How do you get food plated, drinks poured, table set, and everyone to the table in a peaceful manner? Do you serve things up family style--bringing all the dishes to the table and serving from there? Or do you do it buffet-style--serving everything from the counters, kitchen island or stovetop?

I'd love to hear how you do it in your home!

Molly writes about her life in a fixer-upper farmhouse in rural Maryland raising three little girls, at her blog, MommyCoddle.com. She is also co-creator of a collaborative photography + words project called, habit, which is a collection of women celebrating the beauty in the every day.

Tags: a day in the life of a mom, tmfc

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Comment by Lynne Kenney on August 31, 2009 at 7:03am: Good Morning Molly,

I enjoy your page and really liked reading what moms wrote. I agree with Lea, it's the making dinner that can get wild in our home. I cld go on for about an hr about pre-dinner chaos, in fact, maybe we can have a call one time and I will make you laugh at all the variations my friends and I have come up with.

We live with dietary variations as well. I cook what they generally like and we eat as a family. If I put mushrooms in something and they make one child head for the bathroom, I make a serving without shrooms for that child. We have to learn to live as a community so we do not overly cater to individual pickiness even though we live with TONS of that! We made a few boundaries that hold the meal-time insanity at bay.

1) When mom takes an hr to cook we say thank you and do not complain.
2) If we do not like the food we say, "May I get a yogurt or cereal?"
3) When we sit down at the table we do not get up until we are excused.
4) We do not start eating until the cook is seated. (Nibbles allowed)
5) We all help set and clear the table.

For the while you are cooking chaos:).

1) We put an art cabinet in the island then the kids did art at the counter while I cooked. We hung their art, talked about their art etc.
2) Now that my girls are older they often do math/computer/homework at the island while I cook. I do like us all in the kitchen it's the best time for us to talk.
3) Assign roles - table setting captain, color theme captain, drink pouring captain and make everyone busy. If the kids are amped up I tell them if you plan on eating dinner it's time to go jump on the trampoline first. No energy out no food in.

I will admit about myself I am better at the creativity and fun than the rules so many times I act more strict than I am, for their own good. Great question. Lynne

Comment by Lea Curtes-Swenson on May 17, 2009 at 3:18pm: LOVE the cut-up fruit/veggie idea... we do a variation of that, too, but not exactly systematically. It's more a function of the kid chaos/me going nutso/me throwing an apple at them to keep 'em quiet while I finish making dinner! Then I figure they've got their fruit/veggie quota, and can concentrate on the main dish. Ugh! This AND the library books are HUGE problem areas for us, too!

Comment by Joan Celebi on May 14, 2009 at 7:30pm: sorry, forgot to make that article link work!
http://www.SpecialNeedsParentCoach.com/june-article-your-dinnertime-a/

Comment by Joan Celebi on May 14, 2009 at 7:27pm: I wrote an article a while back with a bunch of tips for making dinnertime less chaotic. It's written with parents of special needs in mind, but the tips are great for any family. If you'd like to read it, it's at http://www.SpecialNeedsParentCoach.com/june-article-your-dinnertime-a/ I hope you'll find it helpful!

One of the things that helps us have an easier transition to dinnertime (I don't think I mentioned this in the article) is that I put out some cut fruit and veggies about 10 - 15 minutes before dinner is actually ready. Eliminates the "Mommy, I'M STARVING!" routine, keeps us all from getting impatient before dinner. It also helps everyone get to the dinner table a little early, and then I can ask everyone to pitch in with little tasks like putting out napkins, pouring the milk, etc. Our dinnertimes have been much calmer since we started this!

Comment by Nyree Cruz on May 14, 2009 at 12:02pm: We generally serve family style at our house, but have done the buffet style thing at times, just depends on what the main course is. I don't find the before dinner rush to be that complicated and haven't really thought about it before. Having said that, it could just be because it's just me, my hubby and one child! I'm sure if I had several children, things could get very hairy! I do get my son to help with some of the table setting. (If I am using glass, I don't let him do that part but if we are just using plastic plates and cups, he can handle that.)

I do like your take on the family vs. buffet. I had never thought about family style leading to overeating because that is the way I grew up having family dinners. But, I think you are so right on with that!

Comment by Wan Qi on May 14, 2009 at 6:09am: My family is simple, just 2 of us having dinner at table so my dinner are all simple.

As in my parent home, we will have all the dishes ready on table and most of the time mom and my sisters will help to get all ready on table before everyone come in to have dinner. Of course when there are children around, you will have lot more to do during and after the dinner. And this happen all the time when there is big family gathering.

Comment by ECHOage on May 13, 2009 at 5:58pm: Here are some suggestions:
-if you have time to prep some of the dinner in advance (ie. chopping, pre-cooking the pasta, grating the cheese) that of course always helps
-if you can get the kids to help out with dinner prep - this might calm them down. My kids love mushing the avocado for guacomole, or making our special broccoli sauce. They could also help with setting the table or pouring the drinks for the family
-If you are desperate, and you don't want them to be in the kitchen, have them make name plates for everyone coming to the table
Teaching kids these "mundane" tasks is an important step to get them to be more independent
Cheers,
Roz
www.echoage.com

Comment by Tara Foye Clark on May 13, 2009 at 10:15am: As my kids get older, it's not nearly as easy as it used to be. Of course, I only realize this now!
My kids are 14 and 10. One is a vegetarian and the other eats no vegetables at all. My husband is an on again off again dieter. No one ever eats the same thing or at the same time anymore, though I can usually put my foot down and force everyone to sit at the table together a few nights a week, anyway. Of course, I should also open a restaurant with the number of different things I have to cook every night to feed everyone.

I serve things up buffet-style. I find everyone eats a bit less if we do it that way, rather than family-style. Family-style, for my family at least, seems to make them think they want more to eat whether they actually need it or want it or not. It's in their faces so they'll eat it. Serving buffet-style gives me more control over who gets how much of what.

Anyway, to make a long answer short, (and I meant it to be short when I started typing!) I plate everything from the counter, put the plates on the table, pour the drinks, get the napkins, and then call everyone to come eat.