Blenderless Pina Colada

Did you know I was a bartender when I was in college? Not the seedy, shorts-wearing, cussin' kind, of course. No, I made fruity drinks and served them to khaki-clad country clubbers. It was fun, it was lucrative, and I learned how to make a mean margarita.

In addition to bartending, I served tables. And as a server, I knew the quickest way to get on a bartender's bad side was to ask for a blended drink during the dinner rush. Why? Because next to requests for hot tea (fellow servers, you know exactly what I'm talking about), they are a pain-in-the-butt time suck.

In addition, it was easy to screw up the ice/liquid content ratio. Unless measured perfectly, your Pina Colada either ended up straw-blocking thick or a half slush/half ice concoction that would slide around in the glass and slam against your face if you tried to drink it without a straw.

Though I hated making blended drinks during my bartending/serving days, I love to drink them. Pina Coladas are one of my favorite cocktails, and I'm open about my addiction to all things coconut. So a few weeks ago, I decided to forgo the blending and serve Pina Coladas on the rocks.

We were two days into living in our new house and I craved a Pina Colada. Unfortunately, our blender was in one of twenty dusty boxes in the basement. Anyone who knows me well will confirm that patience is not one of my defining characteristics. So was born the blenderless Pina Colada. All the ingredients, none of the waiting, mess or inconsistent results. Bingo.

And guess what? I like them better this way. Purist I am not. The flavor is more intense, and I can have one in under a minute.

Here's the recipe:

1.5 ounces of coconut rum
6 ounces of pineapple juice
1-2 ounces of coconut milk

Pour over ice, stir, and serve.

Shameful update: A friend of mine just reminded me that I did, in fact, wear shorts for one of my serving gigs. And to add insult to injury, those shorts were accompanied by construction boots and a cowboy hat that dangled from a string and rested on my back (it was a steakhouse). I wish I had a photo.

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