Coping Strategies
Whoops! I've been forgetting to update again. Really must remember that my blog doesn't update itself via telepathy.
So now life is a bit upside down, even though I've come back down from my highs and lows of the last couple of weeks and got back into the swing of things here, everything else still remains up in the air a tad. For the time being I've to stay put, probably for another 6 or so months (read about 10 years given the court system here) but on the positive I've returned to work for a few days and then from next week I'll be part time. This, in a strange way has turned quite a few more things into a positive, but I think it's raised a few eyebrows in some quarters and rumblings that I may be being a bit selfish. I don't think I'm being selfish. I'd like to think it's my own coping strategy.
Yes, I'm going to be as skint as a skint person can be. No more designer handbags and spray tans for me for a while and small child is going to have to make do with the mountain of DS and Wii games she already has. Luxuries are out the window now. But on the plus side, thanks to the wonderful Ryanair (not often you will hear the words wonderful and Ryanair in the same sentence) I have managed to juggle work, child care, Batmans access days and the use of my Mum's credit card, so that from now on I can go home every 2 weeks for a few days. This for me is an absolute godsend and will keep me sane for the next few months. And like I said, I am going to be flat broke, but at least I won't be spending long weekends stuck in the house on my own anymore, with only time to dwell on all the other crap.
It also means that I will get to spend much appreciated time with Toyboy, and even if a relationship doesn't work out there I think we will remain good friends. But I've got everything crossed for a lovely, happy, normal (ish) relationship. He's even said that he'll get himself a dose of the swine flu and give it to me for free. I'm sure he'd like to give me a lot more (here's hoping) but the theory behind it was that if I was there and got the swine flu then I'd have to stay put for a while longer, in quarantine, with him. I'm sure there's a romantic gesture in there somewhere.
But I'm off to England again next week for a few days and attending a much awaited wedding and I'm hoping that Toyboy will come along as my plus one. Which is very exciting as I haven't attended an event with a plus one in a very long time. Usually I take small child or BFF. I hope they don't feel left out when I tell them that I have a new plus one. Which reminds me, I'm going to need to recycle the wardrobe now that I don't have the money for a fancy new outfit.
So, now I suppose I'd better tell you about the campaign and what's going to happen there and how you can all help.
OK, from the emails and messages I received it appears there are a number of women worldwide in the same boat as me. You know that boat, the fast sinking ship. Although there isn't much, if any, decent support out there. There are a couple of forum type things that I have found, but to be honest with you, I found them slightly militant and wasn't impressed by the support they offered. There was lots of, yea it's crap, it's shit, but hey welcome to our shitty world, get over it. Personally that's not my attitude and I'd rather not go down that road of self pity. Personally I'd rather grab the bull by the horns and take some action. Raise the awareness of the problem and hopefully reach out to others like me that probably feel very alone in the world. The power of positive thinking and all that. I have been lucky in that all of you came running to my rescue, to pick me up, get me going again and offer help and support. I can't imagine not having that support, so I can barely imagine what it must be like for those that don't have it.
So, this is the idea I have brewing, and all input, add ons and help is, as always, greatly appreciated. As bloggers we reach a wide and varied audience. I am sure that there are readers out there that don't agree with the battle that I am taking on, and that is fair enough. I appreciate that there are two sides to this argument, however as a mother I feel it is very unfair that I have been denied justice, equality and more importantly my civil liberties and human rights have been breached. But as bloggers we have the power to get the awareness raised and the matter brought to the public at larges attention. I think that my own situation is slightly different in that I only want to move 135 miles (door to door) whereby others wish to move say from America or Australia (much bigger distances), but the fundamentals remain the same. A mothers right to make choices in her life that she feels are in her own best interests and will over time be in the best interests of her child. What good is a mother to a child if she is depressed, feels oppressed and will eventually become bitter towards the place she is being forced to call home and the people that are forcing her to stay in a place that is not her home and she does not want it to be?
Right back to my idea. It goes like this. The campaign will start with an awareness day. At present I am thinking Friday September 4th (loads of reasons why bla bla bla). It will start with a blog post by myself about the situation, my feelings on it and what I hope to achieve. There will be links to an online petition to both the British and the Irish governments to basically sit up and take notice (are you telling me I wouldn't have suffered the injustice I did if my case had been heard in an open court? Exactly. Secret courts are not a good idea). On this day a mass re-tweet will be organised so we can spread the word around Twitter as much as possible. From there another blogger will take the baton and on the following day do a post, again with a brief statement from myself about the situation, and then the bloggers own feelings of how they would feel in the same situation, or something similar (being told to give up your child, not because you are a bad mother, but simply because you want to go home, or move, or just do something that is right for you and your child). And then the baton gets passed on again, and so on, hopefully taking it around the world so that we, collectively can find these women that are in the same situation as me, and let them know they are not alone. I haven't decided yet if I will launch it from this blog or set something up new that can be the focus of the campaign. I'm thinking something separate may be better so that I can focus the campaign there and then still bring you all my other goings on here.
I would hope that we could get 50 blogs in 50 days. I know it's a tall order, so hey, if we only start with 20 and then more people jump on board as we go then that's great too. I am hoping that by carrying it on over a certain length of time it will give us time to collect as many signatures as possible on the online petition and get it into both governments before I am back up in court. As part of the post I will also be asking readers to write to their local MP's/TD's/MEP's and will provide all bloggers with a template for this to send out to your readers who ask for it. There will also be a facebook group and various bits of other stuff.
At present I'm not going to go down the official media route as, well, I think it would be better to catch Batman with the element of surprise and we don't want to play straight into his hands either. I am also hoping to be able to rally as many of the troops as possible so when the big day in court does arrive we can arrange for a rather large group to be there. We'll call it a Batman welcoming party. Officially it will be a protest seeking justice.
So what do I need from you? Well, any bloggers that want to volunteer to post their own blog, shout up and I'll give you a date for yours. If you want to be part of the re-tweet then make sure I have your email address so that I can send you the link to what will need re-tweeting. And if you want to add a link to the online petitions on your own site/blog, again just make sure I have your email. I'll also do up the letters for MP's etc ready for you, when I get 5 minutes to sit down and do them.
I know I'm asking for a bit of time and effort from you, but I think you will agree, it's for a worthwhile cause and hopefully will stop not only the injustice that I have suffered but will reach out to other women as a lifeline they are looking for. And I think you all know at this stage just how much I really appreciate your help.
And just think of the blog posts you'll get to read if you manage to get me home! I may have to rename this blog, Tales from a Village Pub!
So give me a shout, speak up, re-tweet and lets see how far we can take this campaign.
P.S. And if I do get home in this lifetime then you're all invited to the HUGE party I will be having xx
So now life is a bit upside down, even though I've come back down from my highs and lows of the last couple of weeks and got back into the swing of things here, everything else still remains up in the air a tad. For the time being I've to stay put, probably for another 6 or so months (read about 10 years given the court system here) but on the positive I've returned to work for a few days and then from next week I'll be part time. This, in a strange way has turned quite a few more things into a positive, but I think it's raised a few eyebrows in some quarters and rumblings that I may be being a bit selfish. I don't think I'm being selfish. I'd like to think it's my own coping strategy.
Yes, I'm going to be as skint as a skint person can be. No more designer handbags and spray tans for me for a while and small child is going to have to make do with the mountain of DS and Wii games she already has. Luxuries are out the window now. But on the plus side, thanks to the wonderful Ryanair (not often you will hear the words wonderful and Ryanair in the same sentence) I have managed to juggle work, child care, Batmans access days and the use of my Mum's credit card, so that from now on I can go home every 2 weeks for a few days. This for me is an absolute godsend and will keep me sane for the next few months. And like I said, I am going to be flat broke, but at least I won't be spending long weekends stuck in the house on my own anymore, with only time to dwell on all the other crap.
It also means that I will get to spend much appreciated time with Toyboy, and even if a relationship doesn't work out there I think we will remain good friends. But I've got everything crossed for a lovely, happy, normal (ish) relationship. He's even said that he'll get himself a dose of the swine flu and give it to me for free. I'm sure he'd like to give me a lot more (here's hoping) but the theory behind it was that if I was there and got the swine flu then I'd have to stay put for a while longer, in quarantine, with him. I'm sure there's a romantic gesture in there somewhere.
But I'm off to England again next week for a few days and attending a much awaited wedding and I'm hoping that Toyboy will come along as my plus one. Which is very exciting as I haven't attended an event with a plus one in a very long time. Usually I take small child or BFF. I hope they don't feel left out when I tell them that I have a new plus one. Which reminds me, I'm going to need to recycle the wardrobe now that I don't have the money for a fancy new outfit.
So, now I suppose I'd better tell you about the campaign and what's going to happen there and how you can all help.
OK, from the emails and messages I received it appears there are a number of women worldwide in the same boat as me. You know that boat, the fast sinking ship. Although there isn't much, if any, decent support out there. There are a couple of forum type things that I have found, but to be honest with you, I found them slightly militant and wasn't impressed by the support they offered. There was lots of, yea it's crap, it's shit, but hey welcome to our shitty world, get over it. Personally that's not my attitude and I'd rather not go down that road of self pity. Personally I'd rather grab the bull by the horns and take some action. Raise the awareness of the problem and hopefully reach out to others like me that probably feel very alone in the world. The power of positive thinking and all that. I have been lucky in that all of you came running to my rescue, to pick me up, get me going again and offer help and support. I can't imagine not having that support, so I can barely imagine what it must be like for those that don't have it.
So, this is the idea I have brewing, and all input, add ons and help is, as always, greatly appreciated. As bloggers we reach a wide and varied audience. I am sure that there are readers out there that don't agree with the battle that I am taking on, and that is fair enough. I appreciate that there are two sides to this argument, however as a mother I feel it is very unfair that I have been denied justice, equality and more importantly my civil liberties and human rights have been breached. But as bloggers we have the power to get the awareness raised and the matter brought to the public at larges attention. I think that my own situation is slightly different in that I only want to move 135 miles (door to door) whereby others wish to move say from America or Australia (much bigger distances), but the fundamentals remain the same. A mothers right to make choices in her life that she feels are in her own best interests and will over time be in the best interests of her child. What good is a mother to a child if she is depressed, feels oppressed and will eventually become bitter towards the place she is being forced to call home and the people that are forcing her to stay in a place that is not her home and she does not want it to be?
Right back to my idea. It goes like this. The campaign will start with an awareness day. At present I am thinking Friday September 4th (loads of reasons why bla bla bla). It will start with a blog post by myself about the situation, my feelings on it and what I hope to achieve. There will be links to an online petition to both the British and the Irish governments to basically sit up and take notice (are you telling me I wouldn't have suffered the injustice I did if my case had been heard in an open court? Exactly. Secret courts are not a good idea). On this day a mass re-tweet will be organised so we can spread the word around Twitter as much as possible. From there another blogger will take the baton and on the following day do a post, again with a brief statement from myself about the situation, and then the bloggers own feelings of how they would feel in the same situation, or something similar (being told to give up your child, not because you are a bad mother, but simply because you want to go home, or move, or just do something that is right for you and your child). And then the baton gets passed on again, and so on, hopefully taking it around the world so that we, collectively can find these women that are in the same situation as me, and let them know they are not alone. I haven't decided yet if I will launch it from this blog or set something up new that can be the focus of the campaign. I'm thinking something separate may be better so that I can focus the campaign there and then still bring you all my other goings on here.
I would hope that we could get 50 blogs in 50 days. I know it's a tall order, so hey, if we only start with 20 and then more people jump on board as we go then that's great too. I am hoping that by carrying it on over a certain length of time it will give us time to collect as many signatures as possible on the online petition and get it into both governments before I am back up in court. As part of the post I will also be asking readers to write to their local MP's/TD's/MEP's and will provide all bloggers with a template for this to send out to your readers who ask for it. There will also be a facebook group and various bits of other stuff.
At present I'm not going to go down the official media route as, well, I think it would be better to catch Batman with the element of surprise and we don't want to play straight into his hands either. I am also hoping to be able to rally as many of the troops as possible so when the big day in court does arrive we can arrange for a rather large group to be there. We'll call it a Batman welcoming party. Officially it will be a protest seeking justice.
So what do I need from you? Well, any bloggers that want to volunteer to post their own blog, shout up and I'll give you a date for yours. If you want to be part of the re-tweet then make sure I have your email address so that I can send you the link to what will need re-tweeting. And if you want to add a link to the online petitions on your own site/blog, again just make sure I have your email. I'll also do up the letters for MP's etc ready for you, when I get 5 minutes to sit down and do them.
I know I'm asking for a bit of time and effort from you, but I think you will agree, it's for a worthwhile cause and hopefully will stop not only the injustice that I have suffered but will reach out to other women as a lifeline they are looking for. And I think you all know at this stage just how much I really appreciate your help.
And just think of the blog posts you'll get to read if you manage to get me home! I may have to rename this blog, Tales from a Village Pub!
So give me a shout, speak up, re-tweet and lets see how far we can take this campaign.
P.S. And if I do get home in this lifetime then you're all invited to the HUGE party I will be having xx
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