Fantasies of a Mother

Wade and I got robbed of the opportunity to celebrate our Anniversary together so the other night I reenacted the plan, only by myself. I sat alone at the bar at Phat Thai, had a glass of red wine for dinner and then went to see the film, 500 Days Of Summer.

As I sat at the bar I imagined what it would be like to still be single and living in New York City. When an attractive young man sat down alone right next to me I thought about one of my favorite movies After Hours. Sometimes I get so depressed that my life of spontaneous adventure is oh so very OVER.

I am a day dreamer and a true romanticist driving Wade crazy with questions like, What if we didn’t know each other? What if I was your waitress at a restaurant? What if I was your boss at the magazine? What if I worked for you? Would you be able to control yourself and keep your hands off of me? Creating these scenarios sparks the animal magnetism that I have always had for Wade but he is not so keen as I to play these games reminding me that only women fantasize like that. I don’t believe him.

I love my children and care deeply for them when they are sick but their timing is lousy! With this cooler weather and the inability to have any time to myself, my passions are resurfacing full force. I am fed up with the daily mundane tasks of cooking, cleaning and caring for everybody, did I really sign up for this? Wasn’t I once a traveler and an adventurer? Didn’t I at one time in my life get on a plane whenever I got antsy?

I wrote an email to my oldest sister in Boston fantasizing our escape to an island where I pack nothing but my lap top, bikinis, flip flops, any necessary fashionable accessories and a few great novels. We wake up in the morning and take a two hour run on the beach and then fall asleep in our lounge chairs with our hands caressing the soft sand. I don’t care if I drool and snore loudly with my mouth open because I am incognito, a total stranger in a strange land where nobody knows that I am married with three crazy boys running amuck at home.

In the afternoons we hang out at the Tiki Hut Bar and drink fresh boat drinks while talking to the philosophical bartender with a Psych degree and laugh as we objectively analyze all of the atrocities that we have to deal with in our lives.

At night we dress in our sexy sundresses and make a stir at the local dive bar dancing wildly to the local rock band and when we are through meeting and playing with all of the locals we stumble home under the warm tropical breeze and laugh until we cry, like we did when we were in highschool.

When I am not drinking, running, drooling or reading, I write to my hearts content and figure it all out…life, marriage, kids. And when I get truly bored I return home refueled and ready to be the mother that I am meant to be.

A girl can dream can’t she???