Show Down
Well I did it. I've had the show down. As soon as I got word that Batman was back I text him, remained cryptic enough so that he didn't know what I wanted to meet him about, and last night we met in a neutral venue and had a talk.
I remained extremely calm (for me), I didn't raise my voice at all, I was polite, sincere, even friendly. And when he did annoy me, I looked away, counted to ten, took a deep breath and carried on, politely.
WARNING
I may depress you more than usual.
I may bang my head off the computer screen numerous times.
I may raise issues that some won't like.
I may create a lynch mob for Batman.
Yep, you're guessing correctly. Batman ain't for budging.
The long and short of it being that he isn't prepared to let small child leave. But his argument is flawed in so many ways that it's just becoming even more ridiculous. The key points being;
* He says he understands and sympathises with the situation I am in.
* He knows full well that he can't afford his legal fees any longer, and if I get the maintenance I have asked for when we go back to court in October then he can't even afford to keep the roof over his head any longer. My point being that this is because he's paying a small fortune in legal fee's, when we could sort this out ourselves, and he could be spending that money on his kids.
* He wants to re-marry, but between them they have decided that they won't do that until all this is over and done with and paid for. So by my reckoning they'll be 20 years down the line before they get married.
* Whereby he now gets it that he's never going to get custody, he still thinks that I should go and leave small child behind. However in the next breath he says that he doesn't think it's for the best for small child to be without me.
* I pointed out that by him continuing to refuse he is retaining control of my life. He says no, that's not what he wants, however as me and small child come as a package, by controlling one he controls the other.
* He wants me to move on, get married again, have more kids, as he says that small child would love this. I told him that while I am forced to stay here this will NEVER happen.
* I explained to him that while we are involved in constant battles small child is stuck in the middle and as much as we try to shield her from it she is becoming far too aware of things and is stuck in the middle of a war zone. This is not good for her at all.
* He said that he isn't going to give in and will continue to fight me. I failed to see much concern from him about small child being stuck in the middle or any proposal from him as how to stop this.
* He says that he knows that unless something (him) gives we are probably going to spend years in court fighting. I told him that it was going to be a bloody long time then until small child is 18.
Conversation then moved on.
* I told him the legal side. That there is a president set down in the EU for such cases, specific judging standards, bitch judge hadn't followed them, plenty of other people have been allowed to move, some even much further away than the mere 135 miles I want to move. Eventually the courts are going to allow me to go, even if it means I have to take it to the EU courts. I have made him a very (very) good offer to allow us to go. I will not be repeating this offer in court. He will be at the mercy of the courts as to what access he gets. It won't be anywhere near as good as the offer I have made him. I told him that I am on legal aid now so costs aren't an issue for me. They are for him. I told him we could sort this out and end it all tomorrow, walk away and all of us get on with our lives and put it all behind us.
* I told him that life is all about give and take and at the moment I'm the one doing all the giving and he's doing all the taking. He is having everything his own way. Life just isn't like that. It's a trade off.
* I told him that I want my life back and I am not going to stop until I get it.
* Any issues or concerns that he may have over small childs welfare or his access can all be addressed quite easily and dealt with. That is the only concern he should have.
At this point I gave up. It was obvious that the conversation was going nowhere. He again said he understood and felt sorry for me and the situation I was in, but he was prepared to fight it out in court for years to come. I left.
See what I mean about his argument being flawed. It's full of contradictions. He wants me to move on, but won't let me. He knows he can't afford any of this and that he's actually putting his legal fee's before his kids welfare (as in, what happens when he can't afford to provide for them anymore because he has a solicitors bill to pay?). He knows that poor small child is stuck in the middle and that it's not good for her, but shows little or no concern as to how it's going to affect her the longer it goes on. He says that he will do everything he can to help, practically that is because he can't afford to financially. I told him that I am very reluctant to accept his help given the way he and Wicked Witch have behaved in the past. We all remember Mothers Day after all.
So is Batman technically backing himself into a corner? We've all known for a while that chances are all this would come down to money. And personally I still think it will. At some point he's either going to lose the roof over his head due to paying his solicitor or he'll have to make the choice between paying his solicitor or providing for both of his families. And I actually don't think that day is far off coming. I know the level of debt he's in. Logic alone says he can't continue for much longer like this. Wicked Witch isn't suddenly going to go out to work and earn a fortune. It's all on his head (financially). He can't sustain this much longer. And he still has the prospect of 3 cases going to court in October.
Well, I've shown him the way out now. If he chooses to carry on then more fool him. And Wicked Witch! What on earth is she thinking! She has her chance now to get rid of me and get him married as soon as possible, get rid of their debts and secure their future (don't forget they also have a baby together and she has made it very clear that she wants more). Like I said, there really is no logic to it at all.
So I got home, rang my Mum and BFF, kicked a few things, sulked a bit and really wanted a hug. No such luck since I'm home alone for a few more days as it's now Batman's access days. This then raised another "issue" for me. I know I said in my previous post that I was quite fine and happy with the Toyboy situation. I wasn't last night. I wanted a hug from Toyboy. I wanted to see him. Now obviously geography alone prevented that so there wasn't much I could do. Well lets just hope that he's full of hugs and nice things when I go back over in just 13 days (not that I'm counting or can tell you how many hours, minutes and seconds it is) and he doesn't decide to have a shy moment, be awkward, communicate via telepathy or just not show up or anything not good at all.
It's going to be a really long, hard 6 months. Reluctantly then I have to tell you that the campaign will now be going ahead. Details will be out to you shortly xx
I remained extremely calm (for me), I didn't raise my voice at all, I was polite, sincere, even friendly. And when he did annoy me, I looked away, counted to ten, took a deep breath and carried on, politely.
WARNING
I may depress you more than usual.
I may bang my head off the computer screen numerous times.
I may raise issues that some won't like.
I may create a lynch mob for Batman.
Yep, you're guessing correctly. Batman ain't for budging.
The long and short of it being that he isn't prepared to let small child leave. But his argument is flawed in so many ways that it's just becoming even more ridiculous. The key points being;
* He says he understands and sympathises with the situation I am in.
* He knows full well that he can't afford his legal fees any longer, and if I get the maintenance I have asked for when we go back to court in October then he can't even afford to keep the roof over his head any longer. My point being that this is because he's paying a small fortune in legal fee's, when we could sort this out ourselves, and he could be spending that money on his kids.
* He wants to re-marry, but between them they have decided that they won't do that until all this is over and done with and paid for. So by my reckoning they'll be 20 years down the line before they get married.
* Whereby he now gets it that he's never going to get custody, he still thinks that I should go and leave small child behind. However in the next breath he says that he doesn't think it's for the best for small child to be without me.
* I pointed out that by him continuing to refuse he is retaining control of my life. He says no, that's not what he wants, however as me and small child come as a package, by controlling one he controls the other.
* He wants me to move on, get married again, have more kids, as he says that small child would love this. I told him that while I am forced to stay here this will NEVER happen.
* I explained to him that while we are involved in constant battles small child is stuck in the middle and as much as we try to shield her from it she is becoming far too aware of things and is stuck in the middle of a war zone. This is not good for her at all.
* He said that he isn't going to give in and will continue to fight me. I failed to see much concern from him about small child being stuck in the middle or any proposal from him as how to stop this.
* He says that he knows that unless something (him) gives we are probably going to spend years in court fighting. I told him that it was going to be a bloody long time then until small child is 18.
Conversation then moved on.
* I told him the legal side. That there is a president set down in the EU for such cases, specific judging standards, bitch judge hadn't followed them, plenty of other people have been allowed to move, some even much further away than the mere 135 miles I want to move. Eventually the courts are going to allow me to go, even if it means I have to take it to the EU courts. I have made him a very (very) good offer to allow us to go. I will not be repeating this offer in court. He will be at the mercy of the courts as to what access he gets. It won't be anywhere near as good as the offer I have made him. I told him that I am on legal aid now so costs aren't an issue for me. They are for him. I told him we could sort this out and end it all tomorrow, walk away and all of us get on with our lives and put it all behind us.
* I told him that life is all about give and take and at the moment I'm the one doing all the giving and he's doing all the taking. He is having everything his own way. Life just isn't like that. It's a trade off.
* I told him that I want my life back and I am not going to stop until I get it.
* Any issues or concerns that he may have over small childs welfare or his access can all be addressed quite easily and dealt with. That is the only concern he should have.
At this point I gave up. It was obvious that the conversation was going nowhere. He again said he understood and felt sorry for me and the situation I was in, but he was prepared to fight it out in court for years to come. I left.
See what I mean about his argument being flawed. It's full of contradictions. He wants me to move on, but won't let me. He knows he can't afford any of this and that he's actually putting his legal fee's before his kids welfare (as in, what happens when he can't afford to provide for them anymore because he has a solicitors bill to pay?). He knows that poor small child is stuck in the middle and that it's not good for her, but shows little or no concern as to how it's going to affect her the longer it goes on. He says that he will do everything he can to help, practically that is because he can't afford to financially. I told him that I am very reluctant to accept his help given the way he and Wicked Witch have behaved in the past. We all remember Mothers Day after all.
So is Batman technically backing himself into a corner? We've all known for a while that chances are all this would come down to money. And personally I still think it will. At some point he's either going to lose the roof over his head due to paying his solicitor or he'll have to make the choice between paying his solicitor or providing for both of his families. And I actually don't think that day is far off coming. I know the level of debt he's in. Logic alone says he can't continue for much longer like this. Wicked Witch isn't suddenly going to go out to work and earn a fortune. It's all on his head (financially). He can't sustain this much longer. And he still has the prospect of 3 cases going to court in October.
Well, I've shown him the way out now. If he chooses to carry on then more fool him. And Wicked Witch! What on earth is she thinking! She has her chance now to get rid of me and get him married as soon as possible, get rid of their debts and secure their future (don't forget they also have a baby together and she has made it very clear that she wants more). Like I said, there really is no logic to it at all.
So I got home, rang my Mum and BFF, kicked a few things, sulked a bit and really wanted a hug. No such luck since I'm home alone for a few more days as it's now Batman's access days. This then raised another "issue" for me. I know I said in my previous post that I was quite fine and happy with the Toyboy situation. I wasn't last night. I wanted a hug from Toyboy. I wanted to see him. Now obviously geography alone prevented that so there wasn't much I could do. Well lets just hope that he's full of hugs and nice things when I go back over in just 13 days (not that I'm counting or can tell you how many hours, minutes and seconds it is) and he doesn't decide to have a shy moment, be awkward, communicate via telepathy or just not show up or anything not good at all.
It's going to be a really long, hard 6 months. Reluctantly then I have to tell you that the campaign will now be going ahead. Details will be out to you shortly xx
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