Still A Piece Missing
Bad blogger Yummy Mammy. I shall hold my hand out while you all slap it. I know I was bad leaving you all hanging there last week, and then waiting a bit longer whilst I went off celebrating for the weekend, and then got back and sort of couldn't really be arsed to sit and update. But I'm here now, so as usual, grab the fags, top up the glass or stick the kettle on. Yep, it's another Yummy Mammy update that ends with me having cramp in my poor little fingers. Make yourself comfortable.
We shall start with Batman.
I can guess that you have all been scratching your heads wondering how the hell I managed to get him to cave. How on earth have I finally managed to escape Ireland (well nearly, still 21 days to go yet) and manage to move back to good old England.
We reached a compromise! Yep! Shock horror. Me and Batman reached an amicable agreement. Would you bloody Adam and Eve it! Five years, tens of thousands in legal fee's and in the end the solution was simple. It just took a whole lot of heartache and some pretty big leaps of faith to sort it all out.
Remember a few weeks ago when things started taking some dramatic turns with small child suddenly wanting to go off and live with Batman? Remember that phone call as I stood in the airport? And then the random fainting? Oh and bloody Toyboy sticking yet another spanner in the works? Yep. That was some weekend wasn't it. But you all gave me such lovely comments and advice, picked me up and kept me going yet again. But within those bits of advice and the mountain of emails I received afterwards, came a few little bits that stuck out, and when I pieced them all together the answer was there.
As a few of you told me, and quite rightly, Batman has been loving the control he's had over me. He's loved the power and it wasn't so much about the fight for him, although I'm sure he loved it all, it remained the control he could have. And while he was in control he could manipulate small child as much as he liked and to suit him. Hence the sudden idea that she might like to go and live with him, "for a try" as she put it.
Well we all know, as adults, that the grass isn't always greener is it. So instead of fighting small child and Batman, I stopped. I took the fight away. Clean away and refused to fight no more. Fine I said, all do what you want and so will I. Small child, if you want to go and live with Batman then off you pop, and Batman if that is what you want, then there you go, one small child is all yours and I'm off home to England. See ya.
But then I asked, what happens if it all goes wrong? Shouldn't we have a fail safe here? After all, small child misses me terribly just over the weekends, how is she going to cope long term?
Stopped them in their tracks there. Suddenly Batman had to think about what he'd been fighting for and if it was really what small child actually wanted. I invited him round, gave him a cup of tea and a jam doughnut and was nice to him. The three of us sat down and discussed how such an arrangement would work. I was cool, calm and collected and as much as my inner voice wanted to scream at him and tell him what a wanker he was to even think that small child living with him would ever work in a million years, I said nothing. I did not fight back once. I just kept saying yes and OK. I'd stolen Batman's thunder.
And then I asked about what fail safe measures would be put in place. Gotcha I think the word running through my head was. After all, I would be living in England. I will have given up my job, my home, my crappy life and moved on. What happens if (read when into that, I know my girl) small child doesn't settle at Batman's and wants to go back to her Mammy. I just can't go giving up another job, home and life all over again to come back to Ireland to have to start all over again. Not an option my dear. Gotcha again there Batman.
He said he wanted a day or two to consider the options. But in the meantime he agreed everything in the divorce. Literally everything. Shocked! You could have knocked me over with a feather.
Less than 36 hours later he called me to ask to meet up again. A few hours later we met. He agreed that a fail safe needed to be put in place. And that fail safe was that small child could come and live with me in England!!!!!!!!!
HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!
And now for the realisation moment where I think he was secretly admitting that he knows it won't work. He asked that small child give it a proper go living with him and not just a week or two. I held my breath thinking he was going to say a year or something. Nope. All he wants is a couple of months so that I can go off, get myself sorted, have a bit of a break, get a new job, get a new house, get moved and settled so that if (again read when) small child decides to move, everything is set up ready and in place for her.
Do you know what, sat there, having a mocha in Starbucks, I could have bloody kissed him.
And just to add a bit more good to it all, he's also arranged to have it all done through proper legal agreement, I retain full custody throughout, he's going to do the backwards and forwards thing on the planes and delays in airports to bring small child over to visit me lots, and if (when) the time comes that she wants to move he's fine with that and will continue with the backwards and forwards on the planes with small child. And he's even arranged for small child to be seen every week by a counsellor and regular meetings with the welfare officers and psychologist, so that as soon as it starts to get upsetting for her, or the signs are showing that she wants to move, then I'll be told by them, so I won't even have to wait for him or her to tell me.
So in essence, he's given me a breather to get my life all sorted out and set up the new life for me and small child. She gets it out of her system over the whole living with him thing and he gets to realise that as we all always knew, small child is better off with her Mammy.
I know in a sense it's a risk to take, but actually I don't think it is. I know my girl. I know all her little fussy ways, her moods, her insistence that it's her way or no way and her demands of undivided attention or my god I'll know about it. And I know that she is set in her ways. Batman doesn't know all this because he's never had to deal with it all on a 24/7 basis. I know full well that she gets the attention and gets away with her fussy little ways with me, because that's how we've always been. She won't get that with him. There's Wicked Witch and their baby added to the mix there. Once the novelty wears off, the grass won't be so green anymore.
Now don't get me wrong, maybe I'm being a little bit selfish here. Maybe I should have fought on. But I think it was beginning to take it's toll just a little bit too much and the sudden fainting fit was a very loud wake up call. Plus legally I was fighting a losing battle. Ireland will not give up a child, right or wrong, it just won't let them out the country. This way I don't have to fight anymore, I just have to wait it out. And I know in myself that it won't take long. Hopefully just long enough for me to set up a whole nice new life for us. And I think it goes without saying that I'll miss her like mad, but it's a small sacrifice to make for a short time given what the end result will be.
Which brings me on to setting up the whole new life. Well all I now need to do is pack up this house, move it all over seas, find a new job so I can get a new house, move everything into new house, make it into a nice new little palace, focus myself on being fabulous and happy, and bham, job done.
So the actual moving part, kind of sorted. The parents are arranging the actual physical removal side, I just have to pack everything. Job, which is the huge thing really. Well I had a job interview there the other day (hence why I had to pull out of the really fab blogging event on Monday at the last minute, which I was mighty damn miffed about) but anyway, had this interview, they rang me back literally 10 minutes after and said, we love you, think you will be great for the role, we are going to offer you the job, we just need you to meet up with X,Y,Z so that they can rubber stamp it. Mad squeals, screams and some big time celebrating (we shall talk about that in a moment) so I goes back Monday morning to meet them again, and this bloke is now talking, "if you are the successful candidate". So then I left thinking, ummmmmm, have I actually got this job or not, cause now I don't know. So then speaks with the HR again, who says, it's fine, bloke thought you was great, it now has to be approved by someone at the top of the food chain before we can make an official offer, back to you in a few days. OK, slightly calmer but I'm far too impatient and now with 21 days to go, I want the friggin official offer!!!!!!! I'm still waiting at this moment in time for the official offer.
So with that still hanging up there in mid air it also means I can't get moving on the new house thing, because I also found a new house at the weekend, and it's lovely, and I really want it, and with just 21 days to go, I'm getting impatient (more on the house thing in a moment, you'll understand why when I get to it). But it's within the budget, suits the needs, is in the area I want and it's vacant now.
Bloody hurry up oh god of job offers!!!!!!
In the meantime I've carried on applying for jobs just in case. So if anyone knows of something suitable in the North West of England (email me for more precise location if you do) then please let me know. Cheers. There is a lot hanging in the balance here.
So now we move on to Toyboy.
Is he Mr On or Off?????? Guess what, I don't know!!!
I actually didn't really see him that much over the weekend. I was that busy doing lots of other things and meeting various other friends to celebrate, and he had other stuff on as well, that the first time I saw him properly was Sunday night, and basically he was that drunk that he could hardly stand let alone have a grown up conversation with me. So I thought it best to leave it as I'm over there again next week so I'll deal with it then. But hey, I'm going to be living there in 21 days anyway now.
Which brings me swiftly on to going back to the thing about the house. It's just round the corner from Toyboy. He will have to pass my house to get to his house (well his parents house as he hasn't yet ever left home). Now I will add that this wasn't intentional, but given that it's a small enough area anyway I was always going to end up living near to him, just there isn't much available in the area for the budget, this house is really nice and fits the bill, it just so happens to be really close to his house. Ah well. I'm sure it will add to the entertainment value as numerous people pointed out to me at the weekend that in their opinion regardless of what Toyboy may say about such relationship status, he won't make it home very often when he has to pass mine on the way.
Which is actually now a reason that makes me want to sort it out. I really don't want to get into a situation of him rocking up on the doorstep without me knowing what the status is. Are we on? Or are we off? If we are off, then do not darken my door, regardless of how tempting that may be. Anyway, I'll blog that whole debate another day.
But you know what? Even in his absolutely hammered, drunken mess of a state he got himself into the other night, all the not bothering moments he'd had over the weekend when he could have made more of an effort and he didn't, I still looked at him, hardly able to stand (I could stand, he couldn't) and I thought to myself, "Bloody hell you're ace."
Oh shit. Yummy Mammy is quite smitten.
Had a few other "events" over the weekend but since this blog is now so long that nobody is going to be reading it anymore, then I'll give you very brief highlights. Remember The Unsuitable One? Read back if you don't, but anyway, he again declared undying love, told others he loved me, saw something he wasn't supposed to, which wasn't bad on my part, but probably looked bad to his over active mind. I then managed to plonk myself into the middle of a love triangle elsewhere, with someone else holding their hand up and admitting to fancying a bit of Yummy Mammy. Far too complicated that one to even try and explain here, but the internal alarm bells rang very bloody loud and screamed at me to not even consider it even though the man in question is a catch and a half. Yummy Mammy will not be going there. Oh and then, I saw a really bizarre Facebook status update of someone, that made a penny drop and I realised it was about me. Oh fuck, not another one.
Actually, maybe Toyboy could do to know he has competition. He told me he can't remember the name of my blog now and I wouldn't tell him again, so readers it's safe to talk about him again ha ha. Maybe a bit of competition would give him that much needed kick up the backside. Readers, what do you think?
So, on the to do list is;
*Pack up my whole house
*Move said house contents in a really big van, on a really big boat, to another country
*Find a new job
*Get official offer of new job, in writing so that I can ...........
*Get new house, preferably the nice one I've already seen
*Move into new house, set it all up and make it lovely
*In the absence of small child, make said new house into a nice little love nest
*Lure Toyboy into a false sense of security and make him think that the previously mentioned love nest is the best place on earth and there is nowhere else he'd rather be, and more importantly, with Yummy Mammy
*Have nice little life all set up for when small child kicks Batman into touch and gets herself moved
*All live happily ever after
See, it's simple when you write it down!!!!!
xxx
We shall start with Batman.
I can guess that you have all been scratching your heads wondering how the hell I managed to get him to cave. How on earth have I finally managed to escape Ireland (well nearly, still 21 days to go yet) and manage to move back to good old England.
We reached a compromise! Yep! Shock horror. Me and Batman reached an amicable agreement. Would you bloody Adam and Eve it! Five years, tens of thousands in legal fee's and in the end the solution was simple. It just took a whole lot of heartache and some pretty big leaps of faith to sort it all out.
Remember a few weeks ago when things started taking some dramatic turns with small child suddenly wanting to go off and live with Batman? Remember that phone call as I stood in the airport? And then the random fainting? Oh and bloody Toyboy sticking yet another spanner in the works? Yep. That was some weekend wasn't it. But you all gave me such lovely comments and advice, picked me up and kept me going yet again. But within those bits of advice and the mountain of emails I received afterwards, came a few little bits that stuck out, and when I pieced them all together the answer was there.
As a few of you told me, and quite rightly, Batman has been loving the control he's had over me. He's loved the power and it wasn't so much about the fight for him, although I'm sure he loved it all, it remained the control he could have. And while he was in control he could manipulate small child as much as he liked and to suit him. Hence the sudden idea that she might like to go and live with him, "for a try" as she put it.
Well we all know, as adults, that the grass isn't always greener is it. So instead of fighting small child and Batman, I stopped. I took the fight away. Clean away and refused to fight no more. Fine I said, all do what you want and so will I. Small child, if you want to go and live with Batman then off you pop, and Batman if that is what you want, then there you go, one small child is all yours and I'm off home to England. See ya.
But then I asked, what happens if it all goes wrong? Shouldn't we have a fail safe here? After all, small child misses me terribly just over the weekends, how is she going to cope long term?
Stopped them in their tracks there. Suddenly Batman had to think about what he'd been fighting for and if it was really what small child actually wanted. I invited him round, gave him a cup of tea and a jam doughnut and was nice to him. The three of us sat down and discussed how such an arrangement would work. I was cool, calm and collected and as much as my inner voice wanted to scream at him and tell him what a wanker he was to even think that small child living with him would ever work in a million years, I said nothing. I did not fight back once. I just kept saying yes and OK. I'd stolen Batman's thunder.
And then I asked about what fail safe measures would be put in place. Gotcha I think the word running through my head was. After all, I would be living in England. I will have given up my job, my home, my crappy life and moved on. What happens if (read when into that, I know my girl) small child doesn't settle at Batman's and wants to go back to her Mammy. I just can't go giving up another job, home and life all over again to come back to Ireland to have to start all over again. Not an option my dear. Gotcha again there Batman.
He said he wanted a day or two to consider the options. But in the meantime he agreed everything in the divorce. Literally everything. Shocked! You could have knocked me over with a feather.
Less than 36 hours later he called me to ask to meet up again. A few hours later we met. He agreed that a fail safe needed to be put in place. And that fail safe was that small child could come and live with me in England!!!!!!!!!
HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!
And now for the realisation moment where I think he was secretly admitting that he knows it won't work. He asked that small child give it a proper go living with him and not just a week or two. I held my breath thinking he was going to say a year or something. Nope. All he wants is a couple of months so that I can go off, get myself sorted, have a bit of a break, get a new job, get a new house, get moved and settled so that if (again read when) small child decides to move, everything is set up ready and in place for her.
Do you know what, sat there, having a mocha in Starbucks, I could have bloody kissed him.
And just to add a bit more good to it all, he's also arranged to have it all done through proper legal agreement, I retain full custody throughout, he's going to do the backwards and forwards thing on the planes and delays in airports to bring small child over to visit me lots, and if (when) the time comes that she wants to move he's fine with that and will continue with the backwards and forwards on the planes with small child. And he's even arranged for small child to be seen every week by a counsellor and regular meetings with the welfare officers and psychologist, so that as soon as it starts to get upsetting for her, or the signs are showing that she wants to move, then I'll be told by them, so I won't even have to wait for him or her to tell me.
So in essence, he's given me a breather to get my life all sorted out and set up the new life for me and small child. She gets it out of her system over the whole living with him thing and he gets to realise that as we all always knew, small child is better off with her Mammy.
I know in a sense it's a risk to take, but actually I don't think it is. I know my girl. I know all her little fussy ways, her moods, her insistence that it's her way or no way and her demands of undivided attention or my god I'll know about it. And I know that she is set in her ways. Batman doesn't know all this because he's never had to deal with it all on a 24/7 basis. I know full well that she gets the attention and gets away with her fussy little ways with me, because that's how we've always been. She won't get that with him. There's Wicked Witch and their baby added to the mix there. Once the novelty wears off, the grass won't be so green anymore.
Now don't get me wrong, maybe I'm being a little bit selfish here. Maybe I should have fought on. But I think it was beginning to take it's toll just a little bit too much and the sudden fainting fit was a very loud wake up call. Plus legally I was fighting a losing battle. Ireland will not give up a child, right or wrong, it just won't let them out the country. This way I don't have to fight anymore, I just have to wait it out. And I know in myself that it won't take long. Hopefully just long enough for me to set up a whole nice new life for us. And I think it goes without saying that I'll miss her like mad, but it's a small sacrifice to make for a short time given what the end result will be.
Which brings me on to setting up the whole new life. Well all I now need to do is pack up this house, move it all over seas, find a new job so I can get a new house, move everything into new house, make it into a nice new little palace, focus myself on being fabulous and happy, and bham, job done.
So the actual moving part, kind of sorted. The parents are arranging the actual physical removal side, I just have to pack everything. Job, which is the huge thing really. Well I had a job interview there the other day (hence why I had to pull out of the really fab blogging event on Monday at the last minute, which I was mighty damn miffed about) but anyway, had this interview, they rang me back literally 10 minutes after and said, we love you, think you will be great for the role, we are going to offer you the job, we just need you to meet up with X,Y,Z so that they can rubber stamp it. Mad squeals, screams and some big time celebrating (we shall talk about that in a moment) so I goes back Monday morning to meet them again, and this bloke is now talking, "if you are the successful candidate". So then I left thinking, ummmmmm, have I actually got this job or not, cause now I don't know. So then speaks with the HR again, who says, it's fine, bloke thought you was great, it now has to be approved by someone at the top of the food chain before we can make an official offer, back to you in a few days. OK, slightly calmer but I'm far too impatient and now with 21 days to go, I want the friggin official offer!!!!!!! I'm still waiting at this moment in time for the official offer.
So with that still hanging up there in mid air it also means I can't get moving on the new house thing, because I also found a new house at the weekend, and it's lovely, and I really want it, and with just 21 days to go, I'm getting impatient (more on the house thing in a moment, you'll understand why when I get to it). But it's within the budget, suits the needs, is in the area I want and it's vacant now.
Bloody hurry up oh god of job offers!!!!!!
In the meantime I've carried on applying for jobs just in case. So if anyone knows of something suitable in the North West of England (email me for more precise location if you do) then please let me know. Cheers. There is a lot hanging in the balance here.
So now we move on to Toyboy.
Is he Mr On or Off?????? Guess what, I don't know!!!
I actually didn't really see him that much over the weekend. I was that busy doing lots of other things and meeting various other friends to celebrate, and he had other stuff on as well, that the first time I saw him properly was Sunday night, and basically he was that drunk that he could hardly stand let alone have a grown up conversation with me. So I thought it best to leave it as I'm over there again next week so I'll deal with it then. But hey, I'm going to be living there in 21 days anyway now.
Which brings me swiftly on to going back to the thing about the house. It's just round the corner from Toyboy. He will have to pass my house to get to his house (well his parents house as he hasn't yet ever left home). Now I will add that this wasn't intentional, but given that it's a small enough area anyway I was always going to end up living near to him, just there isn't much available in the area for the budget, this house is really nice and fits the bill, it just so happens to be really close to his house. Ah well. I'm sure it will add to the entertainment value as numerous people pointed out to me at the weekend that in their opinion regardless of what Toyboy may say about such relationship status, he won't make it home very often when he has to pass mine on the way.
Which is actually now a reason that makes me want to sort it out. I really don't want to get into a situation of him rocking up on the doorstep without me knowing what the status is. Are we on? Or are we off? If we are off, then do not darken my door, regardless of how tempting that may be. Anyway, I'll blog that whole debate another day.
But you know what? Even in his absolutely hammered, drunken mess of a state he got himself into the other night, all the not bothering moments he'd had over the weekend when he could have made more of an effort and he didn't, I still looked at him, hardly able to stand (I could stand, he couldn't) and I thought to myself, "Bloody hell you're ace."
Oh shit. Yummy Mammy is quite smitten.
Had a few other "events" over the weekend but since this blog is now so long that nobody is going to be reading it anymore, then I'll give you very brief highlights. Remember The Unsuitable One? Read back if you don't, but anyway, he again declared undying love, told others he loved me, saw something he wasn't supposed to, which wasn't bad on my part, but probably looked bad to his over active mind. I then managed to plonk myself into the middle of a love triangle elsewhere, with someone else holding their hand up and admitting to fancying a bit of Yummy Mammy. Far too complicated that one to even try and explain here, but the internal alarm bells rang very bloody loud and screamed at me to not even consider it even though the man in question is a catch and a half. Yummy Mammy will not be going there. Oh and then, I saw a really bizarre Facebook status update of someone, that made a penny drop and I realised it was about me. Oh fuck, not another one.
Actually, maybe Toyboy could do to know he has competition. He told me he can't remember the name of my blog now and I wouldn't tell him again, so readers it's safe to talk about him again ha ha. Maybe a bit of competition would give him that much needed kick up the backside. Readers, what do you think?
So, on the to do list is;
*Pack up my whole house
*Move said house contents in a really big van, on a really big boat, to another country
*Find a new job
*Get official offer of new job, in writing so that I can ...........
*Get new house, preferably the nice one I've already seen
*Move into new house, set it all up and make it lovely
*In the absence of small child, make said new house into a nice little love nest
*Lure Toyboy into a false sense of security and make him think that the previously mentioned love nest is the best place on earth and there is nowhere else he'd rather be, and more importantly, with Yummy Mammy
*Have nice little life all set up for when small child kicks Batman into touch and gets herself moved
*All live happily ever after
See, it's simple when you write it down!!!!!
xxx
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