The New Wife

Rude comments about my parenting style are something I've grown accustomed to over the years. Rude gestures are a bit harder to swallow. Check out the other posts in this contest!

http://www.twittermoms.com/forum/topics/oh-no-you-didnt-contest

When my husband, Rick, and I got married, he was in the process of getting permanent legal custody of his grandchildren - all four of them! He'd become a foster parent after the State removed the children from his daughter's care and he'd had the kids in his home for about a year. His mom had moved in to care for them while he worked. Yes, I do realize that in most people's opinion, agreeing to marry this man would certify me as insane! Before we got married, we talked about our parenting styles, we talked about how we wanted to raise the kids, and we had a pretty good game plan laid out before we ever said "I do".

My first two weeks in the house were a real eye-opener! When Rick was at work, the children had unlimited access to the food in the kitchen...all the soda and cookies and candy they could stuff in their mouths during the day. My new mother-in-law made a supply run to the grocery store each day shortly after breakfast and replenished the stockpiles. It was not unusual for the 5 year old to drink 3 caffeinated sodas before Grandpa got home from work. I'd been told that the kids drank a lot of milk. They did-and none of it was white!! Premixed chocolate, vanilla and strawberry milk filled the fridge. You know, the kind that pours out of the little plastic bottles like syrup? There was unflavored milk, too, for pouring on the massive bowls of sugary cereal they ate for breakfast. And when my husband was home, he wanted his chance to spoil them a little with those sweet treats Grandpas are known for. A king-sized candy bar and 20 oz. soda were the evening snacks while they grocery shopped or went to the movies. Needless to say, he and I had a looonng talk about the science of blood sugar spikes and nosedives, and the possibility that some of the unbelievable temper tantrums these kids had MIGHT be connected to their sugar intake. He agreed, and had a talk with the kids and his mom. He told them that I was going to be in charge of what they ate and when they ate. My mother-in-law agreed it was best for the children....until I poured out that first bottle of strawberry milk and offered unflavored milk or water as the only drink options. I began to hear some grumblings about child abuse. I put the sodas on the top shelf of the cabinet where no one but my husband could reach them, and I let the cookie jars (not one, but THREE) go unfilled. Apples and carrot sticks replaced the Twinkies. The grumbling from my mother-in-law became outright accusations of child abuse. It all came to a head when I confiscated a package of M&M's from a 4 year old and threw them in the trash. The child screamed hysterically "But I'm hungry!!!" and my mother-in-law had enough. She called the police and reported that I was abusing the children, not letting them eat when they were hungry. She called the mayor also, but apparently, he declined to get involved. Once the situation was explained to the responding officers, they walked away grinning and shaking their heads.

The tension in the house continued to build, finally coming to head when I became so abusive to the children that I began to enforce bedtimes. My mother-in-law finally moved out after I had the audacity to turn off the television one night at 11:30 p.m. while a 5 year old screamed "I don't want to go to sleep!!" I haven't seen her since.

I've been here 8 months now, and we are almost finished with all the dental work the kids needed-8 cavities, 2 extractions and a crown in the mouths of 4 children. The drink of choice is now water, and they are all in bed by 8 p.m., without tears. My mother-in-law still reminds us she's watching: every once in awhile I answer the door to find a sheepish looking policeman standing there. "Are you The New Wife?", they inevitably ask. Yes, Sir. I am!

http://www.care.com