Working Together We Can Make Things Happen

When I spent one adolescent summer at 4-H camp, they taught us this song, the motto of 4-H:
"Workin' together we can make things happen, make the better best....."

Yesterday afternoon that song was on repeat in my brain as I watched my two older girls.

When I was younger, one of our weekly chores was to empty the trashcans around the house. It was a two-man job, one to hold open the bag, one to dump in the trash without spilling. And yesterday afternoon, as I reached under the bathroom cabinet and pulled out a large plastic bag, I thought to myself, "Why am I doing this job? My girls are old enough to be doing this together."

So I called them into the bathroom, gave them the rundown on the trash-can-emptying-technique and sent them on their way.

Immediately, Emma raced off with the bag flapping behind her, "Mary! I'm going to do them all MYself!" And Mary, my eye-fluttering five year old who rarely lifts a finger to help unless she's in the mood, said, "Okay."

I kept stepping in, "Girls. I want you to do this together. This a job for both of you. Go room to room together. Help each other. Together."

I'll spare you all the details but let's just say, it was painful and I could have done the job myself in a quarter of the time.

But as we struggled through that supposedly simple task, I realized that I really need to give my children more chores and jobs, even more fun activities to work on together. They need to know the power and joy of working as a team, the give and take of completing something with someone else. That there will be times when you can't do a job alone. That getting help from your sister is something you'll need and count on for your whole life.

We might as well start with a little garbage.

Do your children have any chores or activities that they do together? Do they work well together? I'd love to hear.

[the photo above is of Emma and Mary. And while it looks like they are happily working together in their aprons, they actually thought that if they cleaned their room, I'd buy them goldfish. Hence the enthusiasm.]

Read more about my tales of raising three little girls in a fixer-upper farmhouse in rural Maryland, at MommyCoddle.com

Tags: a day in the life of a mom, tmfc

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Comment by Rebecca Doll on April 15, 2009 at 11:38am: My 3 and 5 yr old are meant to pick up their toys. When I have had enough of looking at them I tell them I am vacuuming that night. The think the toys will be eaten by the vacuum so a lot more gets picked up. They will help set the table, put their items in the trash or the sink when they are done. They have also been putting socks, underwear and PJ's in their drawers.
They love to help me in the garden as well. The 3 year old loves to help me throw clothes in the washing machine or dryer. They are also both great with swiffer cloths, where they can reach....

Comment by ECHOage on April 15, 2009 at 8:11am: We have no formal program for chores, but there are a few basic chores that are expected of the kids like bed making and clearing their plates - they seem to do these without being asked. I like to get the kids out helping in the garden during the warmer months and then shovelling in the winter. Generally the kids know that I might call upon them to help me out with something (ie dog walking).
Molly - I like your idea of having them do something together - I hadn't thought of that.
Roz
ECHOage Ambassador

Comment by molly balint on April 15, 2009 at 5:10am: wow, dominique, I'm impressed! I should start a discussion on chores! i always find it interesting to hear how other people's children help out around the house.

Comment by Dominique Goh on April 15, 2009 at 3:09am: I too should start a chore chart for my boys ( 2 and 5 yr old). At present they are just putting away their things after returning from school. Packing their own school bag, putting the laundry in the washing machine and putting the dishes in the sink after dinner.

Comment by molly balint on April 14, 2009 at 1:16pm: thanks, lea. i'm also guilty of the well-intentioned chore charts that fizzle over time....

Comment by Lea Curtes-Swenson on April 14, 2009 at 12:48pm: And why NOT start with the garbage? We're at that point, too... and it is so much easier to do it yourself! We've started umpteen chore charts, to no long-lasting avail. Keeping it simple and building on it might be the way to go around here... hope your house remains trash-free and harmonious, Molly! :)